Interview with Psychologist and Author Dr. Sandra Levy Ceren – Using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques for Social Anxiety. This interview is one in a series of expert interviews on the eDrugstore.com blog. We add new interviews on a regular basis. Please see our complete list of insightful interviews
1. You specialize in helping people discover what they should do with the rest of their life. How common is it for people in their 30’s and older to question their place in this life? How do you set about helping someone (of any age) find their way?
I ask them what their goals were earlier in life. Which ones did they accomplish and which ones weren’t accomplished. What were their motivations to accomplish some and what do they believe were the obstacles that prevented them from accomplishing other things. Were they afraid of failure, or were they afraid of achieving success? Sometimes people are afraid to succeed because they fear the jealousy of others, or that expectations of further success may be placed upon them and they fear an inability to go higher. They may regard their success as a fluke. We try to examine the realities of their situations. Whatever prevented them from achieving a particular goal may have been for the best. For example competition may be difficult for some people who strive to be liked by others. They may fear hostility from competitors. Thus success feels threatening. Others may be afraid of success because they may fear the burden of expectation of additional success may be heaped upon them.
2. How debilitating can shyness and anxiety be for a person? In what ways might someone be affected and what are some methods of treatment?
Shyness and anxiety are painful feelings. This condition is considered “social anxiety” which may interfere with establishing meaningful relationships. It can prevent people from achieving goals that require social engagement, but many shy people find ways to adjust to this by choosing careers that do not require much social interaction. They may be inclined to careers that bring an intrinsic reward, i.e. stimulate imagination, creativity, and problem solving often in a technical or scientific field. The best way to work through social anxiety is to proceed slowly, taking one step at a time. It is better to make one genuine friend, than to be part of a larger group. Oftentimes, a gregarious, sensitive person will reach out to a socially anxious person and they can enjoy a good relationship, once the shy one gains trust through experiences. The best kind of therapy for social anxiety is one using cognitive behavioral techniques. This enables the person to examine his expectations in bright light and he is encouraged and supported to open himself up, slowly without anticipating failure and thereby learning to let go of fear of social engagement.
3. What are some warning signs in a relationship that the couple might need counseling?
Fault finding, feeling unappreciated or devalued, anger, disagreements, disparity of basic values and goals, preferring the company of others than each other.
4. How common are relationship issues during the course of a marriage? What is the most common concern for long-term couples and how can this concern be treated and/or prevented?
After the honeymoon period comes the adjustment period, where they may come to see each other more realistically. When they don’t like what they see, trouble looms. When they realize that their life goals are different, they haven’t decided how and on what they want to spend their money, their time, whether or not they really want children and how they would raise them ie, permissive, strict. That is why premarital counseling should be mandatory. The potential for problems are greater when issues aren’t worked out previous to commitment..
5. What are three pieces of advice you’d give to someone who is not feeling fulfilled in their own life?
Examine your hopes and dreams when you were growing up. If you haven’t met your goals, examine what prevented it and decide whether you want to pursue them now. Invest yourself in exploring meaningful activities.
About Dr. Sandra Levy Ceren:
Sandra L. Ceren, Ph.D. was born and primarily educated in New York, but she has spent the last several decades on the California coast. She completed the training program in New York at the American Institute of Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy. A practicing clinical psychologist for over forty years, she has earned the status of Diplomate from the American Board of Family Psychology. She is a Fellow of the Academy of Family Psychology and a member of the Academy of Psychologists in Marital and Family Therapy. She is a former editor of The Family Psychologist. Dr. Ceren’s creativity shines in her writing. She is an accomplished author covering both Fiction and NonFiction.
Read more of our expert interviews:
Betty Dodson, Renowned Sexologist, Author, Feminist, Educator
Dean Osborne, Human Nature of Cheating
Dr. MP Wylie, Relationship Advisor
We specialize in providing our over 1,000,000 customers with relevant product and condition information created by our professional editorial staff which includes our team of medical writers, medical practitioners, and health educators. eDrugStore.com Staff on Facebook