Overweight man on a couch with a woman

Is Weight Gain Affecting Your Relationship? Here’s Help


  • Obesity and sex drive problems are quite common. 
  • Obesity affects your physical and mental health – and your sexuality.
  • People who lose weight have a better quality of sex life.
  • In the meantime, get creative in the bedroom to make sex more comfortable.
  • Plenity is a natural, FDA-approved solution for weight loss. 

Obesity and sex drive are rarely discussed in the doctor’s office. If you recently gained weight, your physician probably suggested a diet plan and exercise. But did they mention the sexual problems that go with obesity? 

Unfortunately, excess weight affects much more than what we look like. It can lead to low sex drive, erectile dysfunction, and much more. 

Obesity Is a Modern Disease

Obesity is a serious and chronic disease. To check if you have a healthy body weight, measure your body mass index (BMI). If it’s higher than 30, you fall in the obesity category. 

If your BMI classifies you as obese, you have lots of company. Obesity affects 41.9 percent of American adults. This number has increased rapidly in the past few decades. In 1999-2000, the percentage was only 30.5 percent. 

Obesity is an unhealthy state that can dramatically affect your quality of life. It can have serious health consequences, negatively impact your social life, damage your sex drive, and sabotage personal relationships.

How Obesity Affects Your Relationship

Gaining weight can make you feel different in so many ways, and that includes your relationship. Research shows that obesity may reduce your sexual quality of life.

Here’s how: 

  • Your don’t enjoy sex as much as before.
  • Your sex drive drops.
  • Your sexual performance suffers. For example, you may experience erectile dysfunction.
  • You may avoid intimacy.

To understand the scope of the problem, let’s take a look at why you may be experiencing these effects.

Body Mass Index Chart
You fall in the obesity category if your BMI is over 30

Obesity and Sex Drive: It’s Only Natural

If you struggle with your weight, you probably already know that the extra pounds affect your love life. What you may not know is that there are multiple reasons for this, which together can make the problem challenging to solve. 

Evolutionary, physical, and psychological factors each play a role in the relationship between obesity and diminishing libido.

Obesity and Sex Drive: The Evolutionary Link

Have you noticed how overweight guys can look slim everywhere else but have that big beer belly? It seems like all the excess weight is in the middle. Men have a tendency to store dangerous visceral fat around the waist. 

Not only does this type of obesity put you at health risk, but it also makes you less attractive to your partner or potential mates. 

As humans, we still have those instincts that make us choose sexual partners based on their body shape. A woman with an hourglass figure promises fertility, for example. 

And what about men? A classic triangle shape, with a toned belly and muscular upper body, sends the subconscious signal that “this is a healthy male specimen.”

So, if you’re currently single and have gained some weight, it may work to your disadvantage on dating apps. While there are people who prefer plus-sized partners, the majority are on the lookout for someone of slim or average build. 

If you already have a partner whose sexual interest has waned, it may be related to your body changes. 

Obesity and Sex Drive: The Physical Link

Being overweight puts you at risk of disease. Some of those conditions can mess with your sexual satisfaction, too. Here are just a few examples:

  • Heart disease. Gaining that belly fat doesn’t only mean needing new jeans. It increases your risk of cardiovascular disease, too. And with certain heart conditions, it may not be safe to have sex at all (at least until you’re stabilized on medication). Also, prescription meds can mess with your desire levels. 
  • Diabetes. People with diabetes often complain about low libido. The condition is also linked to low testosterone (also known as the male sex hormone). Erectile dysfunction is common, as well, due to nerve damage and the effect of diabetes on blood vessels. 
  • Erectile dysfunction. Obesity has also been directly linked to erectile dysfunction. 

Obesity and Sex Drive: The Psychological Link

There’s a two-way connection between obesity and mental health. People with a higher BMI are at a greater risk of depression, anxiety, and other psychological problems. At the same time, if your mental health suffers, you’re more likely to gain weight. 

But even if you haven’t been diagnosed with depression or anxiety, obesity may affect your psychological well-being. 

Here’s how: 

  • Less energy. Carrying all the excess weight makes it harder for your body to function properly. Your heart and blood vessels have to work harder to pump blood. Your legs and spine get tired easily. All this can show up as low energy. Good sex requires lots of vigor!
  • Reduced self-esteem. If you’ve recently gained weight, you may feel like you’re not desirable anymore. Your partner may notice it, too, and even suggest you’re not the hot stuff you were when you first met. 
  • Decreased confidence. Low self-esteem can mess with your bedroom confidence. From avoiding sex in the daylight to anxiety about sexual performance — all this can turn intimacy into an obstacle race. 
Overweight man standing by the window
Obesity may affect your confidence and self-esteem

Obesity and Sex: What To Do?

You probably realize by now that it’s a good idea to lose weight to get your sex drive back. But diet and exercise take time. 

There’s no need to give up on pleasure altogether while you work that diet. Here’s what to do to make the most of intimacy while overweight.

  • Nurture your own sex drive through regular masturbation and relaxation.
  • Get creative in the bedroom by adapting positions and techniques to match your abilities.  
  • Use sex props, such as wedges, to position your body in a comfortable way during lovemaking. 
  • If you have erectile dysfunction or other performance problems, use sex toys to satisfy your partner. 

Weight Loss for Better Sex

Can you think of a better motivation to lose weight than good sex? And it really works! A two-year study of people who had a gastric bypass surgery (combined with diet and exercise) revealed that their sex life improved as the weight went down. 

Don’t know where to start your weight loss journey? Here are some tips. 

Get a Checkup

Talk to your doctor about your excess pounds. It’s possible that you have another condition, such as diabetes or hormonal problems, that’s contributing to your weight gain. Or prescription medications could be increasing your appetite. Understanding your body will help you find the right diet and exercise plan. 

Address Psychological Causes of Obesity

Are you one of those people who makes friends with the fridge when stressed? This may be the reason why you’re seeing those extra pounds on the scale. 

Understanding how your psychological wellbeing impacts your body can help you make the right lifestyle changes. For example, getting enough sleep can lower your stress levels and make it easier to lose and maintain weight.  

Elderly man talking to a woman next to some fruits
Your doctor can help you understand the causes of obesity

Ask Your Partner for Support

Losing weight is a team effort. You will get best results if you find a nutritionist, a support group, and nice people to exercise with. 

Your partner can be your motivational coach, too. After all, they want you to get your sex drive back. Be honest and ask for help. You can cook healthy meals together, or you can get out and do some jogging on the weekend. 

Lose Weight and Get Your Sex Drive Back

Obesity and sex drive don’t mix well. If you’re serious about getting your desire back, you should think of a weight loss plan. The first step is always the hardest, like fighting those hunger pangs as your body adjusts to a lower calorie diet. However, with time, it gets easier.

If you’ve tried every diet out there without success, it may be time to try something new. Consider the Plenity weight-loss device. Plenity is a completely different type of weight-loss aid — a device that’s taken in pill form to promote fullness and shrink appetite. 

Plenity is FDA approved and made of natural ingredients to help you reach your weight loss goals safely. Learn more here about how to use Plenity to get your sex life back on track. 

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