Man and woman kissing next to the bed

Dealing With Erectile Dysfunction in a New Relationship


  • Age, anxiety, condoms, and alcohol are common reasons men develop ED in new relationships.
  • If you want to build a stable foundation with a new partner, be honest about erectile problems.
  • Using sex toys can help you satisfy your partner and keep an erection for longer.
  • Dealing with erectile dysfunction in a new relationship is easier with medication. 

Oh, what a feeling! Meeting that new, fantastic person. Romantic dinners, falling in love, planning a future together. . . . But sometimes things don’t go as planned. No man wants to think about dealing with erectile dysfunction in a new relationship, but you must address the problem as soon as possible. 

Erectile Dysfunction Is Common in New Relationships

Here’s the sad truth: ED doesn’t magically disappear when you start a new relationship. And even if your penis functioned perfectly with previous partners, you may notice signs of ED with a new person. 

But don’t despair! Understanding why you have erectile dysfunction is the first step to solving this problem. Here are the common causes of ED in new relationships. 

You’re Older

While erections can become an issue at any age, the older you get, the greater the risk. As we age, our testosterone levels decrease, which can sometimes lead to erection issues. 

In other cases, the problem isn’t caused by aging itself but by your general health condition. Once a serious disease, such as heart problems or diabetes, show up, you may notice an impact on sexual functioning. The same is true for the medication you take to treat those conditions; some have ED as a side effect. 

You Have Performance Anxiety

Having sex with a new person is exciting but can be stressful, too. You want to make them happy and to prove your worth in bed. When you want it so much that your penis stops cooperating, that’s called performance anxiety. It can happen at any age and is common in new relationships. And it’s one of the leading causes of ED among younger men. 

You’re Using Condoms

You’re a clever guy and you want to take care of your sexual health. You know that using condoms in a new relationship is necessary, at least until you decide to go exclusive and get tested. 

But putting that rubber on doesn’t always go smoothly. The package won’t open, it doesn’t roll all the way down — you name it. Before you know it, your erection is gone, you get nervous, and you can’t get hard again. It’s a vicious circle, but time and experience with that new partner should help you relax and make this easier. 

Woman holding a condom while hugging a man
Using condoms can add stress to sex with a new partner

You’re Drinking Alcohol

A new relationship means intensive dating. Dinners out on the town, hot dates at home with yummy takeout — and wine or another alcoholic beverage. Alcohol can give you a boost of sexual energy and confidence, but in the long run, alcohol is not your friend, especially when you have one drink too many. 

Talking About ED With a New Partner

When we meet someone new, we try to be the best version of ourselves. But omitting key facts or lying about something is a mistake. To build a solid foundation in your relationship, you must be honest, and that includes revealing significant health concerns, such as erectile dysfunction. 

Here’s how to talk about ED with a new partner:

  • Admit it’s uncomfortable. Don’t try to pretend it’s not a big deal; you know that it is. You want to have great sex with that person, and erectile problems stand in your way. Tell him or her that you want to discuss something that’s a bit embarrassing and explain why it’s important. If your partner cares about you, they will appreciate the honesty. 
  • Don’t assume they know everything. If you’ve been living with ED for some time, you may think everyone understands what it is and how to deal with it. That’s not true. You may be the first man with ED your partner has dated. Explain everything in plain language, or see your physician together so that your partner can get accurate answers. 
  • Get them onboard. Successfully dealing with erectile dysfunction in a new relationship takes teamwork. Ask your partner to support you as you make lifestyle changes and get the necessary treatment. Together, you can find creative ways to enjoy sex even if ED symptoms persist.
Two men talking
Be honest with your partner about erectile dysfunction

Tips for Dealing With Erectile Dysfunction in a New Relationship

ED doesn’t make things easier in the bedroom, but you can still have lots of fun if you get creative. Here’s how to make the most of intimacy, even when you can’t get rock hard.

Enjoy Oral

Oral sex is sex, too. And on those days when your penis won’t cooperate, it’s a great alternative to penetration. You may not get super hard, but you can still enjoy the sensation. 

Your partner can add temperature play (for example cool their mouth with ice cubes or warm it up with a hot beverage) before going down on you. And don’t forget that giving oral pleasure can be as satisfying as receiving it!

Embrace Soft Play

Who said that a penis is only useful when it’s fully erect? There’s so much you can do with it!

If your partner is a woman, you can stroke her vulva and tease her clitoris with your penis. Once you get a bit hard, you can have shallow intercourse. And you’ll be surprised how pleasurable it might feel! The head of your penis is very sensitive. If your partner is a man, you can still enjoy mutual masturbation or body-to-body rubbing. 

Use Toys

If you struggle with erectile dysfunction, sex toys can be your best friends. 

  • They help you please your partner. If you lose an erection, a dildo or a vibrator can help you finish what you started with penetrative intercourse. You can also put on a penis sleeve to have sex with a half-erect penis. 
  • They help you keep an erection. Masturbation devices can get you in the mood. And penis rings and high-tech vibrators are designed to maintain hardness. 

Go Beyond Intercourse

There’s truth to the saying that brain is your biggest sex organ. Have you ever had a wet dream and orgasmed for real — without touching yourself or being touched? Human sexuality is rich, and imagination can play a large role. 

If you and your partner are both comfortable with it, experiment with kink and BDSM practices, such as bondage, spanking, or role play. Or engage your senses through the ancient wisdom of tantra. 

Try an Erectile Dysfunction Medication

Worried about erectile dysfunction? Consider yourself lucky to be living in the time of effective ED treatments. Dealing with erectile dysfunction in a new relationship is easier with medications like Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra

These lifestyle medications are FDA-approved solutions that are safe and effective for most guys and will quickly restore your ability to get hard. 

How eDrugstore Can Help

At eDrugstore, we offer all FDA-approved erectile dysfunction medications. Talk to one of our U.S.-licensed physicians to find out which one is right for you. Why wait? Learn more about these treatments here and place an order today to make ED a thing of the past. Shipping is fast, discreet, and free.

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