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A women’s point of view
When a man is diagnosed with erection problems, or ED, it means he is unable to get or keep an erection to perform sex. While just about every man will struggle with this issue once in awhile, when it becomes a constant problem, a doctor should be consulted. Often a doctor prescribes a lifestyle medication like Viagra or Cialis to help men revive their sex life.
While this can be a traumatic event for a man, for a woman there are similar feelings.
“Women internalize things — they tend to blame themselves first, thinking it’s because they have done something wrong, or that they are no longer attractive to their partner. In fact, the first thing a woman thinks when a man can’t get an erection is that it’s her fault, and nothing could be further from the truth,” Andrew McCullough, MD, director of sexual health and male infertility at NYU Medical Center in New York City told WebMD.
McCullough says many people don’t understand that erection problems are often caused by an underlying condition like diabetes or high cholesterol.
A man’s response
In some cases, men feel inadequate and start to pull away from their partner, making some women believe the worst.
“Most women usually start with a line of questioning that often has some anxiety or hurt to it. She may suspect her partner is having an affair, or that he just doesn’t find her desirable anymore, so she begins to hint around at these possibilities,” says Sallie Foley, MSW, a professor at the graduate school of social work at the University of Michigan and co-author of Sex Matters For Women.
The answer, says McCullough is communication. “The one thing a woman should never do is withdraw because that is a formula for relationship disaster,” says McCullough. When one partner pulls away, he says, the other withdraws as well, and “this kind of dance goes on where you stop touching each other, then you stop talking, and before you know it you are not communicating at all.” It’s important, no matter how embarrassing the topic, to talk to each other about the problem.
