- Orgasmic meditation is a practice involving stroking of the woman’s clitoris.
- Benefits of orgasmic meditation for ED include reducing performance anxiety and improving intimate communication.
- In its original version, orgasmic meditation was designed for male-female couples.
- There are other mindfulness-based techniques that can be used by single or gay men too.
- Medication is the first line of treatment for erectile dysfunction, but mindfulness practices like orgasmic meditation can also be helpful.
Orgasmic meditation is a little-known technique that can transform your sex life. Mindful clitoral stroking can help reduce performance anxiety and can help you and your partner create a stronger connection in bed and beyond. Orgasmic meditation can also be modified for singles and gay couples.
What’s Orgasmic Meditation?
Orgasmic meditation is a mindfulness practice developed by a controversial company called OneTaste in the early 2000s. While the company doesn’t exist anymore, the essence of the method remains and is practiced by couples worldwide.
The idea is simple: A man strokes the upper left-hand side of the woman’s clitoris for 15 minutes. Sounds easy and familiar? You’re right — the act itself is not much different from the usual fingering.
But there’s one big difference: The goal of orgasmic meditation is not orgasm! In fact, the intention is not even sexual. Yes, she may have an orgasm, but orgasm in this context is a pleasant side effect rather than the end goal.
The idea is for both partners to turn inward and focus on their own sensations and emotions. It’s more of an exercise in connection than in arousal.
Orgasmic meditation is different from traditional mindfulness practices in that it’s done by two people. The limitation of the original method is that it’s designed for male-female couples. But many sex therapists have since adapted the idea to serve singles as well as lesbian and gay couples.
Orgasmic Meditation for ED
Orgasmic meditation is a female-focused ritual, but many men swear by it as a way to tune in to their sexuality. If you struggle with erectile dysfunction, regular practice can help you overcome the mental blocks that get in the way of pleasure.
Here are some of the benefits of orgasmic meditation for erectile dysfunction.
- It reduces performance anxiety. The fear of failing as a lover is one of the main causes of ED, especially among younger men. With orgasmic meditation, you’re focused on your partner, and you realize that you have the power to give her pleasure without using your penis.
- You get out of your head. Sometimes men can’t get or keep an erection because they think too much. Instead of focusing on pleasure, you’re worried about how long you’ll last. Or you stream that tough conversation with your boss in your mind. By letting your thoughts rule, you miss the opportunity to tune into your body. Orgasmic meditation teaches you to be in the moment and feel the sensations.
- You feel accepted. Many guys think that if they don’t deliver in bed, their partner will think less of them. Orgasmic meditation teaches you that you’re worthy of attention, connection, and affection even without an erection.
- You learn to focus on your partner. It may sound counterintuitive, but fulfilling your lover’s desires can help you have better erections. By taking pleasure from watching your partner’s arousal and listening to their sexy moans, you may notice you’re getting hard, effortlessly.
- You improve your intimate communication. This one is difficult for lots of men, but keep reading. Talking about your intimate problems will help you overcome sexual difficulties. The practice of orgasmic meditation pushes you to ask and learn what your partner wants.
How To Do Orgasmic Meditation
Orgasmic meditation is an intimate ritual that’s been modified and adapted from its original form. But before you start experimenting, you need to learn the basics.
Here’s how the original practice works in a nutshell.
- Set up a nest. Prepare a safe place to do the practice. Place pillows for the woman’s comfort and a meditation pillow or some blankets for you to sit on. You should have a soft towel, some lubricant and gloves (optional) ready.
- Get into position. She lies down on her back, with pillows for support. You sit on her right, placing one leg across her body, at waist level. She spreads her knees, butterfly style. You may do some grounding touches on her thighs and lower belly.
- Look and describe what you see. In the original practice, the man tells the woman what he sees when he looks at her genitals. Nothing fancy — simple words, like color, texture, shape.
- Set a timer. Set the timer for 13 minutes for the main orgasmic meditation strokes.
- Use lubricant. Put a small amount of lube on your left-hand pointer finger. Optionally, you may wear latex or nitrile gloves.
- Get stroking. Before you touch your partner’s vulva (external genitals), ask if she’s ready. When she is, place your left index finger on the left-hand side of her clitoris. Stroke it with an up-and-down movement. The idea for both of you is to focus on the sensations.
- Apply final pressure. Once the 13 minutes are up, set the timer for another two minutes, and apply some grounding pressure on her genitals with your whole palms.
- Rest and finish. Once the practice is over, clean up her vulva with a towel and put away the pillows and blankets to complete the ritual. You may want to talk about the experience or hug. Some couples decide to have sex afterwards, but it’s important to separate the two activities.
Is There Orgasmic Meditation for Men?
Orgasmic meditation is a great practice, but what if you’re single, gay, or would like to have something mindful but penis-focused?
Here are some of the alternatives to orgasmic meditation that you can do alone or with a male or female partner.
This method is sometimes described as tantric masturbation, although the term “tantric” implies a more spiritual approach. The idea is to take it slow and focus on the sensations, not just in your penis, but also on your hand and fingers as you’re touching yourself.
If you’re used to quick breathing, try breathing in and out deeply for a change. Experiment with new sounds and positions; don’t focus on orgasm. Enjoy and take in everything that happens along the way.
This is another tantric practice (lingam is a Sanskrit name for penis), but it could also be done as a mindful, sensual massage without the spiritual aspects. It sounds like a nice name for a hand job, but the difference is in the intention.
In the mindful technique, the partner approaches the penis with adoration and respect. Lingam massage is not a quick, one-way road to climax. Both partners exchange the energy that comes with the waves of sexual pleasure. Instead of rushing toward orgasm, take it slow, breathe, and enjoy the sensations.
Get Treatment for Your ED
Orgasmic meditation for ED can help you overcome mental blocks and regain sexual confidence. But for many men, it won’t be enough to treat erectile dysfunction.
Talk to your doctor about ED medication, such as Viagra, Cialis or Levitra. Visit our ED page to fill your prescription online. Delivery is discreet, fast, and free.
Anka Grzywacz is a sexologist, reproductive health expert and Certified Sex Coach™. In her online practice she helps busy women and couples solve their intimate problems.