Highlights
- According to research, many couples saw a decline in the quality of their sexual relationship because of the pandemic.
- Stress and insecurity affected our mental health and the quality of romantic relationships.
- Lower libido and other sexual problems, including erectile dysfunction, have been linked to the COVID pandemic.
- Use your post-pandemic sexual challenges as an opportunity to restart intimacy on new terms.
The COVID pandemic may feel like it’s long gone, but the world is still paying a price. And it’s not just the economy that took the hit. Many couples are still experiencing the aftermath of the pandemic years in their bedrooms and searching for solutions to get their sexual relationships back on track.
The Pandemic’s Effects on Couples
For some couples, the lockdowns were a blessing in disguise. Finally, some quality time together! Even if it consisted of simple pleasures, such as walks in the park and kitchen experiments, this was the chance to bond and focus on what really mattered. According to a German study on the pandemic and relationships, 20 percent of couples reported positive changes in their relationships.
While the lucky few made the most of the extra time under one roof, for many, the effect of COVID on relationships was not as rosy. The pandemic caused job insecurity, killed businesses big and small, and put huge pressures on families. All this translated into more daily stress and arguments between partners and spouses.
A happy relationship starts with two happy individuals. The pandemic undermined our mental health, leading to a rise in anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms. Not exactly a favorable environment for a thriving romantic connection.
The Effects of COVID on Sexual Relationships
As sex therapist, I see two kinds of couples. One type has had sexual challenges which have led to relationship problems, and the other has unresolved partner issues that have caused the destruction of the sexual union.
With the COVID pandemic, I mostly saw the second scenario. The never-ending demands of remote work, homeschooling and having the kids home all the time, the lack of social connections, and dealing with mortality were reflected in our bedrooms. Even today, when many of us have forgotten the obligatory face masks, some sexual relationships still haven’t recovered.
Check if any of these applies to your own intimate relationship:
- Lost libido. If you or your partner lost interest in sex during the pandemic, you’re not alone. Women’s sexuality, in particular, suffered during COVID. Once lost, desire usually stays low unless you make a conscious effort to reawaken it.
- Sexual problems. A COVID infection may have real consequences for your sexual health. For men, erectile dysfunction is a possible complication. If you have a cardiovascular condition, you may be especially at risk.
- Reduced sexual pleasure. Are intercourse and erotic play feeling less exciting than they used to? A decline in pleasure, orgasm frequency, and intensity may be another not-so-obvious result of the pandemic. According to a review and meta-analysis of studies on sexuality and COVID, both genders saw a decline in orgasms and arousal, with women reporting more concerns.
Give Your Sexual Relationship a Post-Pandemic Refresher
If there’s one good thing we took from the COVID pandemic, it’s probably more clarity about what’s important to us. Many of us were forced to take a long hard look at our relationships and reassess.
If you and your partner haven’t had good (or any) sex in a while, it’s time for an intimacy refresher.
- Get well soon. Great sex is is dependent on the well-being of both partners. Take care of yourself so that you can bring curiosity, playfulness, and positive energy to intimacy. That means managing your daily stress levels, addressing mental health challenges, and staying fit.
- Bring the romance back. Years of home confinement, social distancing, and uncertainty destroyed the romantic side of many relationships. Remember what you used to enjoy pre-pandemic and go back to doing it. Saturday date nights at your favorite Thai restaurant? Dressing up and going salsa dancing? Bring it on! And don’t forget to kiss and cuddle! It gets those love and bonding hormones flowing.
- A new sexual beginning. I often advise couples who come to me for support after a difficult period to give their intimate connection a fresh start. Take stock of what was good and what wasn’t in your sex life prior to the pandemic. Ditch what’s not working, keep the good stuff, and create new rituals and experiences together. Focus on quality, not quantity, of intercourse.
- Spice it up. A bit of novelty can help revive a sexual relationship that has gone stale. Take a trip to a local sex shop and grab a couple’s vibrator and card games for adults. Stream some ethical porn, and you’re guaranteed not to get bored in the bedroom!
Get Support for Your Sexual Relationship
Sexual issues won’t go away if you ignore them. Don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s just an effect of COVID that will be resolved on its own. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to solve this puzzle and return to fantastic sex.
If you feel stuck in the bedroom, working with a sex therapist or sex coach can help. We’re trained to help you discuss intimate issues and offer tailor-made solutions. Sometimes, you’ll need medical treatment, too.
If you’ve noticed new intimate challenges, such as erectile dysfunction, speak with your doctor. A prescription for ED medications, such as Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra, may be all you need to go back to those hot nights of lovemaking.
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Anka Grzywacz is a sexologist, reproductive health expert and Certified Sex Coach™. In her online practice she helps busy women and couples solve their intimate problems.