Highlights
- Tantra is an Eastern philosophy and practice that looks at sex as a spiritual experience.
- “Urban Tantra” by Barbara Carrellas is the most comprehensive and inclusive tantra guide for beginners.
- Some tantric sexology books are most suitable for heterosexual couples.
- Tantric practices go beyond intercourse and include meditation, dancing, and breathing.
If you’re looking for ways to deepen your sexual connection with a partner, tantric practices are a great place to start. We’ve selected five tantric sexology books that are good introductions to this ancient spiritual practice. The best thing about those reads? They are full of practical exercises to get you started right away.
1. “Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century” by Barbara Carrellas
If there were one tantric sexology book all beginners should read, “Urban Tantra” would be it. Barbara Carrellas adapted the practice of tantra for busy people who want a deeper, sexual connection in their daily life, not just during a weeklong retreat in India.
The author’s aim is to revolutionize Western tantra and make it more inclusive. Many traditional teachers focus on heterosexual couples. Carrellas, being a queer woman herself, believes that everyone can find something valuable in tantra, regardless or their relationship status, gender, or sexual identity.
What You’ll Learn
This book covers all tantra basics. You can read it cover to cover or pick the chapters that seem most interesting to you. You’ll find a whole section about tantra for one as well as many partner practices. There’s a great section on the erotic awakening massage with explicit descriptions on tantric touch for persons with penises or vulvas and for trans persons.
Curious about energetic and breath orgasms? Yes, these things exist! Carrellas explains that experiencing these forms of pleasure can be healing and empowering. Learning to feel sexual energy without using the genitals can be a lifesaver for men suffering from sexual difficulties, such as erectile dysfunction.
2. “The Heart of Tantric Sex: A Unique Guide to Love and Sexual Fulfillment” by Diana Richardson
Richardson wrote this book with long-term couples in mind. If you and your partner have lost your sexual spark and are trying to get it back, this one is for you.
According to the author, novelty alone — such as using sex toys or trying a threesome — won’t help in the long run. The true connection that can be achieved with tantra is an answer for couples looking for lifelong erotic satisfaction. But to reap its benefits, we need to unlearn what we’ve been taught about sex.
What You’ll Learn
The book is divided into three parts. The first looks at the spiritual potential of sex and love, the second offers body-based practices, and the third looks at crucial aspects of sexuality.
The main thing to understand in Richardson’s approach is that sexual energy arises if we learn to relax together. A typical Western view of intercourse is the opposite — we tense our muscles and focus on “achieving” orgasm.
One of the easiest ways to get into that relaxed state is focusing on your breathing. Before you make love, sit down with your lover, face to face. Look into each other’s eyes and feel the breath circulating through your bodies. You can also try to synchronize your breathing. Keep that awareness of breath during sex and notice the difference in the quality of your connection.
3. “Divine Sexuality. The Joy of Tantra” by Mahasatvaa Ma Ananda Sarita, PhD
The author of this book is an international tantra trainer and a student of Osho, a famous teacher who popularized tantra in the West. You’ll enjoy it if you’re in a heterosexual relationship because that’s its focus. If you’re looking for practical inspiration, you’ll find tasteful photos of couples in sexual positions to deepen your spiritual bond.
What You’ll Learn
This book is a good primer on sexual energy points in the body. You’ll understand the concept of chakras and get to experience their energy through simple movement meditation.
In addition, the author shares tips to enrich your foreplay and what to do after sex to nurture intimacy. Most women complain that their partners don’t spend enough time caressing them and preparing for the sexual act, so take these suggestions to heart and she’ll be positively surprised!
4. “Sexual Awakening for Women” by Dr. Shakti Malan
The book’s title suggests it’s for women only, and indeed, it makes a thoughtful gift for that special lady in your life. But if female sexuality is a complete mystery to you, this read can teach you a thing or two, and you’ll find some couples’ practices here as well.
What You’ll Learn
“Sexual Awakening for Women” is like a whole tantric training program women can do at home. It’s brimming with exercises to help her get rid of shame and open up to orgasms.
The author weaves pelvic floor exercises into tantric practices to circulate sexual energy. Your partner will be inspired to masturbate, and that’s a good thing for you, too! Women who learn how to pleasure themselves feel more satisfaction during partnered sex.
5. “Tantra: The Whispering Transmission” by Pema Gitama
This tantric guidebook is best enjoyed on paper, not the electronic version. It features beautiful, sensual photos that bring you a bit closer to the spirit of tantra.
This book is not your typical how-to guide. It starts as a poetic story of two lovers going through a tantric initiation in a secluded temple. The second part puts it all together through concrete examples of rituals for men, women, and couples.
What You’ll Learn
Tantra is not just about intercourse! Dancing is another way to express emotions. But tantric dance is different from what you do at the nightclub. Just follow your intuition and act like a child. Make strange noises, get curious about what you can do with your body, and have fun!
Couples who have been together for a long time often forget the art of kissing. In this book, you’ll find a practice of kissing meditation that will help you rediscover intimacy with your lover, just like in the beginning of your relationship.
In case you missed it: Read 10 Best Sexology Books [And Why We Love Them!]
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Anka Grzywacz is a sexologist, reproductive health expert and Certified Sex Coach™. In her online practice she helps busy women and couples solve their intimate problems.