Highlights
- Sex therapy is a form of psychological counseling.
- Erectile dysfunction is one of the top reasons men seek professional help.
- You can see a therapist on your own or with your partner.
- You don’t have to get naked or have sex during sessions.
- For best results, you may need to combine sex therapy with medical treatment.
Imagine getting headaches every single day. After a week or so on painkillers, you’d probably go and see a doctor. Just as we look for ways to solve our physical problems, we can get support when things go wrong in the bedroom. In this article, we’ll explain what a sex therapist is and how he or she can help you.
What’s Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is a form of psychological counseling. While general psychotherapy can improve your mental health, this type of therapy focuses on sexual wellbeing. Some people see a sex therapist on their own; others come as couples. Everyone can benefit from a sex therapist; we’re trained to work with clients regardless of their sexual or gender identity.
Most sex therapists are not medical doctors. If your concern requires both psychological and medical treatment, you’ll be referred to a physician who can examine you and write a prescription.
Depending on your problem, sex therapy can last a few weeks or months. If you have deeper issues, for example as a result of sexual abuse or addiction, sex therapy may be combined with classical psychotherapy and require more time.
How Sex Therapy Can Help
People seek help from a sex therapist when they have intimate problems. Common reasons to see a counselor are:
- Low libido
- Difficulties having an orgasm
- Erectile dysfunction
- Premature ejaculation
- Painful intercourse
Sometimes a couple doesn’t really have a problem, but they feel like they lost their erotic spark. Sex therapy can help you talk about unfulfilled fantasies and teach you how to try new things without embarrassment.
Another way to use sex therapy is to prevent future problems. For example, if you’re expecting your first baby, getting a few sessions will help you prepare for what’s to come in your relationship. You’ll work out a concrete plan to help you stay intimate when the little one arrives and you’re both tired or overwhelmed.
Sex Therapy for Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction is one of the top reasons men go to sex therapy. Even if the cause of your problems is physical, for example you have a heart condition, or your ED is linked to a prostate condition, having erection problems may have an impact on your emotions and self-esteem. Working with a counselor will help you make sense of it and open up to your partner, which can go a long way toward preventing hurt feelings and bigger problems down the road.
Erectile dysfunction can be psychological, for example caused by stress or performance anxiety. If you’re going through a crisis in your relationship, you may be experiencing reduced sexual performance. A therapist will guide you to understand why you’re having those issues and help you figure out how to solve them.
What Happens During Sex Therapy?
There are many misconceptions surrounding sex therapy. Before getting into details of what a sex therapist does, let’s look at what he or she doesn’t do during sessions.
You don’t need to take your clothes off, masturbate, or make love in front of your counselor.
Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy. You go to your therapist’s office or meet online to discuss problems and solutions.
Here’s what to expect from sex therapy sessions:
- Goal setting. To make things better, you need to understand the issue and decide where you want to go. It may be necessary to get a medical diagnosis to get a full picture and create an action plan.
- Homework assignments. To improve your sex life, you’ll have to try new things and find out what works. Your therapist will give you exercises to do at home. Not all will be sex-related. For example, if you have psychological ED, you may need to master relaxation techniques.
- Sex education. Sometimes the source of imitate challenges isn’t the body or even the mind. Lack of information about sexual functioning, techniques, or anatomy can lead to misunderstandings and difficulties. Sex education for adults is different from what you may remember from your teenage years. Your counselor may recommend explicit educational videos, show you pictures of sexual positions, or instruct you on how to use sex toys.
- Intimate communication. When it comes to sex, the saying, “easier said than done” doesn’t apply. Most couples would rather do it than talk about it, especially when things aren’t going well. Intimate communication is a skill you can learn at any age, and your sex therapist is there to teach you. From choosing the right words to sharing your wildest desires — you’ll be a sex talk pro in no time.
Combining Therapy and Medication
It’s true that the brain is our most important sexual organ, but talk therapy isn’t always enough to make things better in bed. Most sex therapists cooperate with doctors, who can offer treatment for your sexual concerns.
For example, a woman with low libido may need hormone therapy. A man with ED may need the help of medication, such as Viagra or Cialis, to get his erections back. Sexual difficulties may also be linked to depression or anxiety. In that case, a prescription from a psychiatrist may be in order.
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Anka Grzywacz is a sexologist, reproductive health expert and Certified Sex Coach™. In her online practice she helps busy women and couples solve their intimate problems.