When asked about her marriage, Sally* says that everything is good overall. She’s been with her husband for over 10 years and they often do fun things together. The problem is that they rarely have sex. In fact, they haven’t had sex for almost one year. When she met her husband 15 years ago, they had sex quite frequently. But over time, they had sex less often. Sally isn’t happy about the change, but she’s not sure how to resolve the problem. She has no idea why her husband isn’t interested in sex.
Sally suspects that her husband suffers from a low testosterone count, but he doesn’t want to see a physician. When she tries to talk about sex, her husband avoids the issue. It often makes Sally feel like she’s unattractive. She rarely tries to initiate sex these days because it makes her feel rejected. When a woman’s husband doesn’t want to have sex, it often has a negative impact on her self-esteem.
When Ashley* met her husband, they were instantly attracted to each other. But after three years of marriage, her husband stopped initiating sexual activity. They didn’t even have sex on special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries. Ashley was devastated by the change, but her husband refuses to seek help. After many years, Ashley even talked to her husband about having an affair. He gave her permission, and she started having sex with an acquaintance. However, in the end, Ashley decided that she wanted a divorce.
Some women don’t notice the decline in sexual desire until their children are older. Kate* was always the one who initiated sexual encounters with her husband. But now her husband refuses to have sex at all. She offered to get “mommy makeover” plastic surgery, but nothing seemed to help. Kate doesn’t even try to have sex with her husband anymore. She’s not sure what will happen with her marriage, but she knows that something needs to change.
These are just a few of the stories that relate to this complicated matter. Many women wonder what causes this type of sexual health issue. In some cases, it’s a medical problem. Men can suffer from sexual health disorders such as erectile dysfunction or low testosterone count. Lack of sexual desire can also be related to psychological disorders, including depression, anxiety, and stress. The good news is that these are often treatable conditions. Men can seek help from a reputable physician or counselor.
In some cases, sexual health issues are caused by communication problems. The way you approach your husband about sex can make a huge difference in the outcome. You don’t want to verbally attack him or make him feel too defensive. Always talk about your concerns in a calm, relaxed environment. If you want to save your marriage, it’s important to talk with your spouse as soon as possible. Open communication is usually the key to solving any relationship problem.
*Last names withheld for privacy reasons.