You help people find their authentic selves and inherent treasures. What does this mean and how does one start such a process?
At the core of each of us is the true person – who we really are. We are born with a scientific, as well as a spiritual DNA that defines much of who we are. We are born with a purpose and to help us fulfill that purpose, we are given gifts. Yet, as life goes on, we place veneers over our unique being, we hide behind masks, and we live a character we are not. In a nutshell, if we are not being our true self, we are living a lie. We often find safety in living this lie; we wrongly perceive living this way to be the way others want us to live and be. We abandon ourselves to please others. There is a freedom that goes with living our truth; we can stop living on someone else’s agenda and judgments and start connecting with our whole being.
Many times my single clients have asked me to help them write their profile for online dating. “What do (men/women) want to hear?” they ask me. “The truth,” I respond. We live in a world where many people are in tune with their ‘human behavior radar’. They can differentiate between what is real about you and what is fabricated. You can no longer fake it and hide your true light. Ironically, when you are aware of your authentic power, you become more brilliant and more attractive. You shine.
While reaching our authentic core and true being takes courage and a willingness to be true to ourselves, we will find that once we start peeling away the layers of veneer, we can begin to display our inherent treasures – those capabilities and talents that are unique to us that we can use to see opportunities that help others as well as ourselves. This inner journey of self examination becomes less confusing and more rewarding when you work with a coach.
To get you started, here is your first challenge: List at least 5 very specific qualities that best represent you. Once you clearly identify these qualities, start letting your authenticity light the world.
What is interesting is that our authenticity is always whispering to us. We simply need to listen to it. It is only through being authentic and fully expressed, that we find our purpose and our happiness in life.
Can a person who is a “dreamer” and goes against the grain really be taken seriously? Please explain.
First, it is important to differentiate between ‘dreaming’ and ‘fantasizing’. Fantasies are our entertainment to break moments of life’s monotony. Fantasies are not acted upon. Dreams, on the other hand, are vital to our existence since they reveal to us our greatest potential. The only way to achieve what you want is to dream. Dreams are our desires and if we don’t realize our dreams, we are living unfulfilled lives. Too many people forfeit their dreams as they get older for many reasons including losing enthusiasm and motivation. They get cautious and learn to play things safe. Because they have abandoned their dreams, they feel uncomfortable with people who do continue to pursue their desires and dreams.
A dreamer is one who creates an image or vision in his/her mind, believes in the possibilities, chooses beliefs that empower the dream and acts on the dream. A dreamer takes risks: so do something today you wouldn’t normally do. A dreamer thinks big and keeps desires large: if you feel stuck, you are probably dreaming too small. Expand your dream and your desires. A dreamer challenges the status quo: dream with the intent to activate what you envision. Give yourself permission to let the dream unfold.
As adults, we have drastically restricted our capacity to imagine so it is critical that we begin to nurture our ability to dream. To get started, begin with being aware of your thoughts. Then identify the images, emotions and feelings you are associating with them. Assign colors, textures, scents etc. to them. The more real they are appearing, the more real they will be. Then visualize the dream taking hold and the triumphs you acquire. So go ahead and start illuminating your dreams, creating a path to your dreams, attaining them and living them and then you and everyone else will take you seriously.
Henry David Thoreau said, “Don’t be afraid to build castles in the sky. That is where they belong. But once the dreams are in place, your job is to build the foundation un
der them.”
What is the most common age when people struggle with determining who they are or what they are destined to be?
The struggle to determine who we are and who we are destined to be has no age requirements, restrictions, start or end points. Life will not wait until we are ready or until we catch our breath. There is never a better moment than now to begin appreciating, nurturing, accepting, and strengthening a clear sense of self.
Each life cycle we encounter, such as teen years, young adulthood (often referred to as quarter life), midlife, or senior years has its own obstacles and growth opportunities. Each generation – such as baby boomers, generation X, echo generation etc., – carries its own experiences and needs. No matter where we are in our life, parts of us have been altered, changed, abused, questioned and even stilled. To move from one stage to another productively, you need to successfully complete the stage in which you are. How can you adjust and fit into the new world when you enter the next segment of your life if you have not invested in your personal growth and self knowledge? Don’t be comfortable with what you have learned and achieved up until now. Reach for new understandings, new accomplishments, and new perspectives. To whatever degree you have let yourself lose edge of personal growth and learning, commit to recapturing it.
A good place to start is getting clarity about your life purpose. Since we are born with our life purpose, it is there for us to acknowledge and embrace early in our life. A succinct statement of your overall purpose in life helps determine what you want. It is an umbrella, something big enough to include all you want in life – all your have’s, do’s and be’s. An effective statement tells you when goals or behaviors are off track. With your purpose firmly in mind, you can make moment to moment choices with clarity and integrity. Now try it. Compose your Life Purpose statement by finishing the following sentence: “The purpose of my Life is to______” Keep in mind this is what you must do in your life to manifest your gifts, which will bring you fulfillment.
Can people who are in the midst of raising children, caring for older parents and saving for retirement really afford to tap into their creative selves? Or should they focus on their obligations first and their creativity/passions later?
It is imperative that people always tap into their passions, purpose and power at any time of their life – especially when care giving family. When our time at home is nurturing and nourishing, we have a deeper well from which to draw our passion, purpose and powers. It is critical to separate you from your circumstances since these circumstances do not define you or express what is possible. Picture yourself living fully and happily in the midst of turmoil.
We are all familiar with the rules of flying in a plane: put your oxygen mask on first and then help others. The principle is simple: You are only valuable to others when you make yourself valuable. When you take care of you, your whole life and everything in it changes. You have the wisdom and power to create a life you love no matter what is happening.. This phase of your life is an opportune time to take out your compassion and look to see where you can shed some light. If we are at peace and safe and balanced within ourselves, we have more of a chance to live harmoniously with others and with our environment
The problem exists that when we are so busy giving to others, we forget to give to ourselves – yet being there for ourselves is the best gift we can give to others. However, we can’t give to another what we don’t have within us to give or know what is in us to give. We can only give what we have and only after keeping for ourselves what we need. Everyone needs something from someone else to fulfill them so if your needs are met, then you are allowed to give to those around you.
Here’s a question for you: What gift can you give yourself that you have delayed in doing or getting? Why not begin by giving yourself a gift of time. The size of the block of time is up to you. It can be two hours a week or time out for a vacation. Make a date with yourself to do something different or something you have been putting off. Make a list of things you would do if you had more time. Listen to your head when doing this exercise and check in with your head.
What are the single most important tips you’d give to those looking toward personal development?
This is one of those questions that makes me think, “Where do I begin?!” Let me make it very simple by using an acronym: DUNCADAEB
requirements Discover your deep treasure by Understanding clearly who you are and what you want. First Notice your limiting beliefs and work to eliminate them. Next, give yourself permission to create your vision without judgments. Then Affirm your life purpose. Now you are ready to Determine your, needs and wants to Attract and live your perfect life. It is time to Evaluate your communication and conflict resolution skills and Build strong, lasting successful relationships and partnerships with yourself and others.
It is important to note that for personal mastery, each of these items needs to be coached using guided facilitation, designed strategies, exercises, and dialogue.
About: Marcy Rich, a highly talented and accomplished relationship coach, facilitator, educator and mediator, assists singles, couples, family members and business associates in developing competencies required for today’s individualism and partnering. Marcy’s one on one coaching sessions, group forums and workshops strive to encourage people to have better relationships with themselves so they better relate with others. She has the knowledge and expertise to address your unique relationship needs so you achieve fulfilling relationships. She provides you powerful strategies, processes, tools – and support – for expanding your self knowledge, improving your communication skills, and enriching your relationships. The unique balance she provides in her services has its roots in her advanced academic, corporate, and practical experiences with human performance potential and organizational development which she intertwines with her spirituality and intuitive nature.
Marcy has been a guest speaker on Good Morning Arizona, Arizona Midday and Relationship Radio Sandy Springs, GA. She is a licensed coach with Relationship Coaching Institute. Specializing in the people side of life, Marcy’s contagious enthusiasm, energy and laughter always provide motivation and empowerment.
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