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You have to feel bad for Joe Biden. Being Vice President is a stressful job, but it has to be done. In addition to working with the Senate, he’s got diplomatic work, stumping for Obama, public relations, behind the scenes work on legislation, visits with school children…all this from a guy who said, when announcing he was running for President, “I’d rather be at home making love to my wife while my children are asleep.” He’s probably barely home and when he is, he’s got quite a lot on his mind.
We may make fun of the Vice President, especially since in the last twenty years the office has been filled by a robot, somebody we’re pretty sure is actually a Bond villain who got the job by mistake, and some doofus who can’t spell “potato”. But it’s a hard job, and it can weigh heavily on the mind, so can’t we all use a little lift?
Far be it from us, the American people, not to pitch in and help Mr. Biden. So here’s how you do it.
– Secure a prescription for Viagra. Drugs shouldn’t be played around with, and any 
drug should have a prescription. Viagra really shouldn’t be taken if you don’t need it, which is why we’re giving it to our Vice President.
– Make sure Mr. Biden has a prescription, and that they match. For some reason, the Vice President’s office wouldn’t give us an answer to this (in fact, they just hung up on us, didn’t even transfer us to him or anything!), so we’ll just go ahead and assume he does. Still, his staff could stand to be more polite.
– Choose a reputable online pharmacy with a good customer service ranking. Ideally choose one familiar with delivering pharmaceuticals to government employees: you might want to call their customer helpline and ask, although again for some reason nobody would give us a straight answer on this one.
– Give the shipping address as 1 Observatory Circle, Washington D.C., 20007. You really don’t want to send it to his office. That would just be awkward for him to have to explain to everyone involved.
– Make sure to include a nice gift note and your return address, in case he needs to return it or would like to get in touch with you.
Sit back, relax, and enjoy, knowing that you’ve helped your fellow man.
(Editorial Note: This article is just a joke. You really shouldn’t be sending our Vice President prescription drugs of any kind in the mail. It’ll probably get you added to some sort of list, or possibly visited by the FBI. So don’t do it. Or if you do do it, say you got the idea from Glenn Beck or something.)
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