Highlights
- There’s a connection between sex and mental health because pleasure comes from our bodies as well as our minds.
- Depression, anxiety, and stress are common causes of sexual dysfunctions.
- Some medications can also cause sexual side effects, such as low libido or erectile dysfunction.
- Getting professional help from a sex therapist can help you revive your sex life.
- Some men with mental health challenges need ED medication to have intercourse.
Martin and Laura were a power couple who struggled in the bedroom department. They came to me for help because they stopped having sex. “We love each other,” they said, “but we stopped desiring each other.”
They both had medical checkups and were in perfectly good health. It didn’t take long to figure out that their stress levels were through the roof due to their demanding jobs — and stress is a well-known libido killer.
Don’t underestimate the link between sex and mental health. When you take care of your mind and emotions, you’ll be the master of your mojo once again.
Sex and Mental Health Are Connected
When we think about sexuality, it becomes evident it’s not all in the genitals. Good sex can make us cry from joy or laugh uncontrollably. When we do it with someone we love, it deepens our bond.
Mental health issues can cause problems such as low sex drive, orgasm difficulties, or erectile dysfunction. There are hundreds of psychological or psychiatric conditions, some of which affect sexuality.
Here are the most common ones:
- Depression. Men with depression are at a 39 percent higher risk of erectile dysfunction compared to healthy men. If we look at it from the other side, exposure to ED increases the risk of depression by a staggering 192 percent! It’s a vicious circle — losing your erections can lower your self-esteem, which can deepen your depression.
- Anxiety. Living with anxiety puts your nervous system on overdrive. The body is on constant alert and may refuse to perform in bed. Some people get panic attacks, which have been linked to ED. Performance anxiety is a separate mental health problem which can cause ED, even in young and healthy men.
- Stress. Everyone feels tension from time to time. Worrying about money, problems with kids or with your partner — there are many reasons to feel stressed out. But when the stress gets intense or chronic, it can put a break on your sexuality. In stress, your body shuts down functions that are not necessary for short-term survival. This may translate into a loss of interest in sex — and erectile dysfunction.
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). OCD shows up as obsessive thoughts and repetitive behaviors. People with this condition are at a higher risk of sexual dysfunctions. Moreover, OCD is often accompanied by anxiety and depression, which can impact libido and sexual functioning in their own right.
The Impact of Medication
The paradox of sex and mental health is that the medication which improves your psychological well-being can exacerbate sexual problems. Some popular antidepressants can have these side effects:
- Reduced libido
- Decreased satisfaction and orgasm difficulties
- Erectile dysfunction
To make things worse, bedroom problems may persist long after stopping the treatment.
Getting Your Mojo Back
Martin and Laura were surprised that sex therapy was more about stress management than sex. To get their desire back, they had to learn how to cope with tension in healthy ways. They also needed some improvements in intimate communication.
As two independent, ambitious professionals, they were both afraid to admit to “weakness” in the bedroom. They wouldn’t admit to feeling shame and fear of rejection from their partner. It took some time to practice honest communication, but it paid off. They said it helped them improve their sex life and their marriage.
If your mental health issues are strong, take your time to get better with medication and/or therapy. Once you feel stable enough, you can look for ways to rebuild your bedroom life.
Learning the Art of Intimate Communication
Shame and taboo are the reasons many people with mental health problems suffer in silence. The same applies to sexual challenges. It’s hard to talk about them, but it’s also the only way to overcome them.
Your partner is not a mind reader. They may not realize what’s causing your ED, or why you’ve been refusing sex for the past six months. They may feel rejected, or suspect you’re being unfaithful. This secrecy can cause conflicts and lead to major relationship issues.
If your partner had a health problem, wouldn’t you like to know about it? Trust that the person you love wants you to be happy and healthy, and they are on your side.
Take a deep breath and tell them what’s going on with you. Admit it’s not easy to share intimate problems and say how you appreciate them for listening. You two are a team and you can work it out. And if you ever get stuck, there’s professional help.
Finding Sexual Treatment Options
If you’re in therapy for mental health issues, ask for a referral to a sex counselor. While some psychotherapists have training in sexual dysfunctions, if you’ve been visiting your provider on your own, it’s better to find another expert who specializes in couples counseling.
Don’t worry — sex therapy is not as awkward as you think. You don’t need to get naked and make love in front of a stranger. Your counselor can help you discuss difficult topics. You’ll also receive suggestions to improve your sex life. In addition, he or she can explain the nature of your mental health issues to your partner and help them understand how it affects your sexual abilities.
Sometimes ED Medication is the Answer
Counseling is a wonderful option for couples struggling with sex and mental health issues, but it may not be enough. It usually takes some time to see the positive effects. If physical problems or drug side effects are causing ED, you may need medication, such as Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra, to achieve an erection.
Buying ED Medications Online from eDrugstore
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Anka Grzywacz is a sexologist, reproductive health expert and Certified Sex Coach™. In her online practice she helps busy women and couples solve their intimate problems.