A new study looked at the sex drive in new parents. Previous studies investigated the mother’s sex drive, but few studies have looked at the other parent’s sex drive.
Couples say they’re too tired
Researchers at the University if Michigan in Ann Arbor gave 114 partners, both men and women, an online questionnaire to access the physical and emotional aspects of their relationship after childbirth.
The study shows both parents, not just the birth mother, suffer from a low sex drive. Of course, sex and fatigue were the biggest reasons parents said they weren’t engaging in sex.
“When both partners are involved in caring for the baby, sleep deprivation and attending to his or her needs at a moment’s notice takes a toll,” Sex Coach Amy Levine tells CNN. “Anyone who is actively involved in the care of their infant has likely experienced the ups and downs of arousal during at least the first few months.”
Difference and similarities
The study did involve 18 gay couples, who suffered similar sexual side effects as their heterosexual counterparts, with a few exceptions.
“Some gay couples do not have the support of their families, meaning no grandparents to give the couple a break from childcare. And in some areas of the country, there is still prejudice against gay people and gay families, a major stressor that straight families don’t face,” says psychotherapist Margie Nichols.
“But same-sex couples have advantages as well. Studies of gay couples show that they divide childcare and housework tasks more equitably, making it less likely that one parent will feel overwhelmed and possibly resentful.”
Tips to turn up the heat
- Plan a date night. Get a sitter and make time for each other.
- Just do it. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just get back into it.
