- Part I – Real Viagra Stories
- Part II – Real Viagra Stories Continued
11. Waking the Dead
I don’t know what the cause was, but right around the age of 45, I lost the ability to get a hard-on. I tried porn, strip clubs, and even mechanical devices, all to no avail. Then my pastor suggested I try Viagra. As soon as I found the proper dosage, I was playing the field again. Look out for the gray wolf!
– Leon W, PA – 51 years old
12. DON’T Picture Them in Their Underwear
I’ve been taking Viagra for six years now and let me tell you—these have been the best years of my life! Last month, I was in Chicago giving the keynote speech at a networking conference. I had my vitamins and meds packed in my bathroom kit and in my haste, I took a Viagra instead of a vitamin C. That was an hour before my speech. All I’ll say about what happened that afternoon is that I did not stray from that podium!
– V. DiMarco, Middletown, NJ – 61 years old
13. Because It’s There
My wife and I had spent all day rock climbing in Yosemite and boy were my arms tired. She insisted that she was ready a trip around the world, but I insisted I was too pooped to bang. She somehow talked me into taking a Viagra, but within ten minutes of swallowing it, I fell asleep. She got her revenge, though: A photo of me with an impressive monument in my spandex, snoring on the hotel couch is now my wife’s Facebook profile picture!
– K. Rajneesh, 44, San Dimas, CA
14. Big Man on Campus
Viagra gave me renewed confidence just when I thought the most exciting thing in my life would be lutefisk night at the local smorgasbord. I attended a senior’s mixer at the local college campus and after a few hours of small talk, I ended up back at my place with not one, but three hot to trot ladies!
– Henrik 70, Sioux Falls, ND
15. The Clothes (and the erection!) Make the Man
Every morning, I got my coffee in the lobby of the building where I work, and every morning, I was too shy to even say “Hi,” to Shaneen, the girl who sold me my coffee. My insecurity was due not just to my erectile dysfunction, but also my poor sense of fashion. One day, on the advice of the office secretary, I got a prescription for Viagra. No sooner was I getting champion erections than I contracted a fashion consultant. Now, Shaneen and I are the toast of the building and the sex is awesome!
– H. Rosenberg, TX – 33 years old
16. The Running Man
I’m an avid runner and for the past 35 years, I put in a minimum of 25 miles per week. I recently moved and have been running around a lake path in my new neighborhood where I met Gladys, who loves to run as much as I do. All of me is ready to run to home base with her except my johnson, which hasn’t responded adequately for at least a decade. I know this is supposed to be about Viagra, but last week I got a prescription for Cialis. I tried it out last night and I pitched a tent that would host a circus! I can’t imagine Viagra could work much better, and I can’t wait for my next date with Gladys because now my penis has the stamina to match the rest of me!
– Achmad H, 54, Boston, MA
17. Phasers on Full!
My boyfriend Josh is the most wonderful man in the universe. We met at a Farscape convention and have been in love like John and Aeryn ever since. There’s only one crimp in our relationship: While Josh has many ways of satisfying me sexually (The Luxan kiss of life would drive any woman to distraction!), he has been unable to couple with me as humans do. After six months since our journey first began, we procured Viagra. Well, it must be Delvian magic because his unit went from a Hynerian drone to a Scarran warrior in one solar cycle!
– Emily W., 37, Lincoln, NB
18. Duck and Cover
I was feeding the ducks at the park last month when I decided that there had to be more to life. I heard about this Viagra and how it has revived the sex life of millions of seniors like me, so I went to the library, logged into the Internets and got me a bottle of the stuff. I took one yesterday morning to see if it works. I put on my coat, went to the park (the ducks expect me at 8 am sharp), and five minutes after I sit on the bench, my trousers start getting tighter! Good thing I had my coat to cover me!
– P. Melnick, IN – 65 years old
19. Boat Drinks
The only thing I love more than my wife Helen is my boat, The Swedish Stallion IV. She’s a beauty, I tell you what. Only thing is, I named it before I got erectile dysfunction. My wife loves me so much that she backs up my boasts at the boathouse, but the lying was starting to eat away at my conscience. I ordered Viagra online, and now when we go for post-cruise martinis, Helen is always off in the corner with her lady friends, where they are constantly whispering and looking at me while giggling the whole time like schoolgirls.
– Stan V., 65, Oyster Bay, NY
20. Long Live Rock
I’ve been rocking for 20 years as the lead guitarist for a glam rock cover band. While the bulge in my black and yellow spandex is as impressive as ever, it hasn’t gotten any harder than a wet noodle since Nirvanna’s "Nevermind" killed glam. I met a fan after a club gig and it was love at first sight. I came up with excuses for weeks until I couldn’t take it anymore. I got Viagra, and now I’m shakin’ her all night long.
– Murray "Mascara" L, 41, Pensacola, FL
21. Steel Girders
I’ve been a construction foreman for over 40 years, married for 22 years, and unable to get a boner for two years. I always thought I was indestructible, but this ED really knocked me for a loop. My wife got tired of cold showers and plastic toys, so she shamed me into getting Viagra. She should’ve been careful what she asked for–she’s so worn out from our nightly grind that she might soon be in danger of losing her job!
– Walter S, 40, Ann Arbor, MI
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