Highlights
- You may be surprised to learn that it’s the clitoris, not the vagina, that’s the center of sexual pleasure for a woman.
- Most women need clitoral stimulation to experience an orgasm.
- The clitoris is much bigger than most people realize, with 90 percent of its body hidden inside.
- The tip of the clitoris alone has more nerve endings than the penis.
- Stimulating the clitoris during intercourse can help your partner have an orgasm.
Where is the clitoris, and why is this organ the key to her sexual pleasure? Getting the clitoris location right and making sure it gets the attention it deserves are not that hard. Educate yourself and you’ll both have the keys to the coital kingdom!
Why Is Clitoris the Female Pleasure Center?
As a man, you probably have a hard time imagining sex without a penis. After all, this is your main sexual organ. Stimulating it feels good, and this is where you feel your orgasm the most.
In the woman, the clitoris plays the same important role! Yes, that’s correct — for women it’s the clitoris, not the vagina, that’s the center of pleasure and orgasms.
The challenge with heterosexual intercourse (and the reason why so many women don’t climax during vaginal penetration) is that many sexual positions don’t stimulate the clitoris. This means you must get creative to give your partner a fair chance at experiencing climax.
Becoming a clitoris expert will pay off for you and for her. Stimulating her pleasure center helps her produce natural lubrication for intercourse. And getting into an aroused state (or even having an orgasm from clitoral touch) may open the gates for another orgasm during penetrative sex.
Clitoral Anatomy Explained
Human anatomy is tricky. Even though the penis and vagina fit together perfectly, they are not twin organs formed differently in men and women. In fact, it’s the penis and the clitoris that are more anatomically compatible.
More Nerve Endings Than in the Penis
Like the penis, the clitoris has many nerve endings. In fact, there are more nerve fibers in the tip of the clitoris than in the whole penis!
Scientists are only beginning to discover the amazing sensitivity of the clitoris. A recent study revealed that the glans of the clitoris alone has approximately 20 percent more nerve endings than previously believed.
The clitoris can also get erect, like the penis. Hard to believe? Take a good look at your lover’s genitals before you begin caressing her, and after she’s become aroused. You’ll notice the clitoris getting bigger as it fills with blood, in just the same way the penis does when you have an erection. And the whole organ is much bigger than you think!
What Lies Beneath
What you can see when making love to a woman is just a small part of the clitoral body. About 90 percent is hidden from view.
You only get to see the glans. This small, knob-like shape is covered by the clitoral hood, like the man’s foreskin. It protects the sensitive tissue and may move to expose the glans when the woman gets excited.
The inside body of the clitoris hides under the skin. It has two bulbs that run under the woman’s labia (vaginal lips). They are made of erectile tissue that can also become engorged. Plus, there are two arms of the clitoris, called crura. And they can be as long as 3-½ inches!
Research on female sexual anatomy is quite new, and there are many questions to answer. It’s possible that the internal clitoris and its nerve fibers play a part in what we call vaginal orgasms for women. After all, by thrusting into the vagina, the man stimulates the internal elements of the clitoris as well.
The excellent video below explains all:
Where Is the Clitoris?
If you’re still not sure where the clitoris is located, ask your lover to guide you.
You can also trace your finger from her belly button down to the pubic mound. Where the vulva lips open, right at the top, is where you should be looking for the clitoris. Alternatively, imagine a dial of the clock — the clitoris would be at 12 o’clock.
What You Can Do for Her Sexual Pleasure
Female sexual response is different from that of a male. While lots of men are ready for intercourse at the mere sight of a sexy woman, most women need a longer warm-up to get pleasure from sexual contact, especially vaginal penetration.
Here’s how to give her clitoris the attention it deserves:
- Ask what she likes. When it comes to female genitals, don’t try to guess the directions. Your lover knows the map of her body better than anyone else. Ask her to show you how she likes touching herself. She may also guide your hand and give you the grand tour.
- Work your way to it. The clitoris is a powerful and yet delicate organ. Take your time to warm up your partner’s vulva and increase blood circulation in the pelvis. A nice massage of the inner thighs, the pubic mound and the labia will help her get ready for more direct touch.
- Find your rhythm. As a man you may have one preferred scenario of getting to climax. While you may enjoy fast buildup of speed and intensity of penis strokes, her clitoris may need a different pattern. Experiment and find what works best. For example, some women like edging, which means steady stimulation almost to the point of climax, then pausing and starting all over.
- Add some vibes. Every woman is unique and so are her sexual preferences. Some women can’t have an orgasm from the clitoris if you just use your fingers or tongue. Don’t get discouraged, grab a clitoral vibrator, or suction toy and tease it with vibrations!
- Rub during intercourse. Research shows that stimulating the clitoris during vaginal intercourse helps women get more pleasure from it. Choose positions in which you can reach the clitoris with your hand, or use a couple’s vibrator for hands-free stimulation.
Better Sex for You and for Her
The clitoris is a fascinating organ and deserves more credit than we give it. Understanding its function can take your sexual activity to new levels of pleasure. Once you expand your view of sex and notice that penetration is not the only path to orgasm for her, new opportunities will open up.
Time to put that knowledge to good use! Go ahead — enjoy, experiment, and appreciate the rich sensations that the clitoris can bring her.
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Anka Grzywacz is a sexologist, reproductive health expert and Certified Sex Coach™. In her online practice she helps busy women and couples solve their intimate problems.