Interview with Inner Bonding Founder Dr. Margaret Paul – Tools to Create Loving Relationships. This interview is one in a series of expert interviews on the eDrugstore.com blog. We add new interviews on a regular basis. Please see our complete list of insightful interviews
1. You have some fairly high profile people as followers to the Inner Bonding Process. Can you tell us a little about who they are and how they’ve benefited from Inner Bonding?
I have worked with many high profile people, but most of them prefer to remain anonymous. Actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette have both publicly endorsed Inner Bonding® because they found the process to heal on a very deep level and to give them the tools to create loving relationships, inner peace, and joy. Both these wonderful women have integrated the Inner Bonding® process into their lives, and seek to share it with those around them.
2. Why do you think so many people fall into the trap of “abandoning” themselves? Can you explain what this means and how to avoid it? How to treat it?
All of us learned to abandon ourselves from our parents, other care-givers, teachers, and the media. We have few role models in our society for taking responsible, loving care of ourselves. There are four major ways we abandon ourselves:
- We judge ourselves in an effort to get ourselves to do things "right." Just as others judgment is hurtful to us, so is self-judgment. These judgments and lies come from old programmed false beliefs that need to be healed.
- We ignore our feelings – especially the pain we cause with our own self-judgment, as well as the existential pain of life, such as loneliness and heartbreak – by staying in our heads rather than being present in our bodies.
- We turn to various substance and process addictions to numb our feelings.
- We make others responsible for our feelings, and then try to control them into loving us or doing what we want by giving ourselves up or getting angry and blaming.
Inner Bonding® is a powerful process for healing self-abandonment and false beliefs and learning to love yourself. It teaches you how to stay present in the moment in your body, how to learn from your feelings rather than avoid them or try to get rid of them, how to connect with your personal source of spiritual Guidance for truth, love and wisdom, and how to gain the strength to take loving action in your own behalf.
3. What happens when one partner in a relationship seems to be swallowed by the negativities in life, while the other partner is content overall? How can they affect each other and how can they work together to achieve harmony in their life together?
Generally, people get together at their common level of self-abandonment, which means that often neither is content. It is not common for one person to be taking responsibility for his or her feelings and the other isn’t. But when one seems content and the other is swallowed by the negativity of life, it is likely that the one feeling swallowed up is care-taking the other – giving themselves up to get love and avoid pain. When one person decides to learn how to take responsibility for his or her own feelings of pain and joy, their system changes. Often, it changes for the better and more harmony is achieved. Sometimes it gets worse, and then either they get some help for their relationship, or the relationship ends. I have a very high success rate with the couples I work with, especially when both people are learning to take loving care of themselves so they can share their love with each other. We offer a wonderful eCourse for couples that can be found on our website.
4. Inner Bonding fe
atures Six Steps to Emotional Freedom. Can you give us a peek at what those steps are and how they can help a client heal?
I will list the steps here, but they don’t mean much without really understanding what each step is really about. Anyone can learn these steps by taking the free Inner Bonding® course on our website at http://www.innerbonding.com. The steps are:
Step One: Willingness to Feel Pain and Take Responsibility for Your Feelings Move into the present moment and focus within, tuning into your feelings – the physical sensations within the body. Choose to be mindful of and pay attention to all distressing feelings rather than protect against them with substance and process addictions. Make a conscious decision that you WANT to take responsibility for your feelings.
Step Two: Move into the Intent to Learn Invite the compassionate Presence of Spirit into your being (we teach people how to do this) to help you learn what you are doing or thinking that may be causing your pain. In Inner Bonding there are only two possible intents in any given moment:
- to protect against pain and avoid responsibility for it through trying to control yourself and others
- to learn about what you are doing or thinking that may be causing your pain so that you can move into loving yourself and others.
When you are in the intent to learn you are a loving Adult. When you are in the intent to protect and avoid you are operating from your ego wounded self. In Step Two, you welcome and embrace all your feelings with compassion.
Step Three: Dialogue with Your Wounded self and Core Self Discover the thoughts/false beliefs from your wounded that may be causing your fear and pain; release anger and pain in appropriate ways; learn about the past that created the false beliefs; nurture your wounded self; explore your core Self and what brings you joy.
Step Four: Dialogue with Your Higher Guidance Ask your spiritual Guidance (whatever that is for you): What is the truth about the thoughts/false beliefs you may have uncovered in Step Three? and What is the loving behavior toward yourself in this situation? What is in your highest good? What is kind to yourself? Open and allow the answers to come through you in words, pictures or feelings. The answers may not come immediately, but if you have a sincere desire to learn, they will come.
Step Five: Take Loving Action Tell yourself the truth and take the loving action that came through from your Guidance in Step Four; put God/Spirit into action. Consciously move into gratitude for your Guidance that is always here for you.
Step Six: Evaluate Your Action Check in to see if your pain, anger and shame are getting healed. If not, go back through the steps until you discover the truth and actions that bring you peace, joy, and a deep sense of intrinsic worth.
These Steps will come alive for you as you learn and practice the Inner Bonding process.
5. What are the top 3 tips you’d give to someone who is trying to become more positive?
- Learn to have a personal, two-way connection with your spiritual Guidance. There is no true healing without a spiritual connection. We teach people how to have this connection and how to maintain it throughout a day.
- Learn how to define your own worth by your intrinsic qualities rather than continue to need others attention and approval to feel worthy, or continue to have to look right or perform right to feel worthy. You cannot see or define your true Self without a spiritual connection.
- Download our free Inner Bonding® course and begin to learn and practice the Inner Bonding® process, which heals the false beliefs that keep you limited and in negativity.
Learn More About Dr. Margaret Paul: Innerbonding.com
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