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Why You Shouldn’t Compare Yourself to Porn Stars

Comparing yourself to a porn star will likely only lead to feelings of inadequacy. And it’s too bad, because porn producers have countless editing and cinematography techniques they can turn to, and “real life” doesn’t ever enter into porn scenes. Read on about why there’s really no point in comparing yourself to porn stars. 

 

Did you know that nearly one-third of internet searches have to do with pornography?

Not only that, an entire generation of younger men has grown up having easy access to porn on the internet. Maybe they didn’t learn everything they know about sex from pornography, but when you spend your formative years seeing sex acts that involve men and women to whom Mother Nature (or the cosmetic surgery industry) has been excessively generous you’re bound to make comparisons between your body and those on the screen.

While we all know intellectually that adult entertainment isn’t realistic, men can feel their self-confidence dwindling after watching porn. But there are countless sound reasons why it’s pointless to compare yourself to the men in porn. Here are 7 of them.

1. Video Editing Can Work Tremendous Visual Magic

In porn, everything is so well-choreographed! Position changes appear to be executed flawlessly, and partners either intuitively know how to please each other or have no difficulty saying exactly what they want to happen. Your sex life would look significantly more well-executed and smooth if you had retakes and someone to video edit your life.

Remind yourself that off-camera, the men in porn may have difficulty achieving an erection, maintaining it, or postponing ejaculation long enough for an entire acrobatically challenging sex scene to play out. What you’re watching is a sex highlight reel, not the reality of the before- during- and after-sex activities actual people engage in.

2. Nobody’s Timing is That Good in Real Life

Sure, porn scenes (and scenes in non-porn movies, for that matter) are flawlessly orgasmic, with both partners reaching their peak pleasure at the same instant. Reality is rarely like this. You might as well try to get your partner to sneeze at the same time as you do. Sex partners can be remarkably different from one another in terms of how long it takes to be ready for sexual contact, how long it can comfortably last, and how long it takes to achieve orgasm.

Video entertainment, with the exception of, say, live sporting events, involves far more “takes” and editing than you may realize. That five-minute scene may have taken several hours to shoot, and several more hours to edit into the perfectly coordinated montage viewed by people at home.

3. Porn Leaves Out Many Fundamental Realities

For most people, particularly early in a sexual relationship, several sensitive conversations may surround sexual activity. Condoms aren’t used much in porn, for example, though in real life you know you need to use them to guard against sexually transmitted diseases. And that means that in the real world, partners talk about condoms, and at some point obtain and use them, unlike in porn where the consequences of unprotected sex are conveniently omitted.

But the good news is, with the right partner, these conversations can actually increase closeness between partners and heighten the excitement and anticipation associated with sex. Porn may leave out some of the mundane stuff, but it also leaves out a lot of really good stuff, including the evolution of intimacy between two people who actually care about each other.

4. Men in Porn Are Sometimes Ridiculously High Maintenance

The men in pornography aren’t magically devoid of body hair, and they didn’t just happen to genetically inherit those well-defined abs and arms. There are entire teams of people (including plastic surgeons) who make porn actors look the way they do, and it takes a lot more time and money than most people are willing to invest. And much of it isn’t just a once-and-done thing like cosmetic surgery, but an ongoing commitment. Do you really want to book an appointment to have your chest hair waxed every few weeks? And if you’ll take a moment to look at the facial expressions of the men in porn, you’ll quickly discover that they don’t look like they’re enjoying themselves all that much regardless.

5. All the “Mistakes” Are Edited Out

Not only are the missteps involved in pornographic sex scenes edited out, what’s edited in is often far removed from reality. For example, camera operators use special lenses and special lighting to get a particular look and accentuate certain parts of the body. Furthermore, the actors and actresses in porn are hardly representative of the people most of us have in our lives. Just because “every” man starring in a porn scene is generously endowed doesn’t mean that those statistics apply to the population overall. Everything is exaggerated in the world of porn. Subtlety is not the porn industry’s long suit.

6. Most Women Don’t Care if Your Body Isn’t Like a Porn Star’s

Women expect the pizza delivery guy to bring over a pizza within a reasonable amount of time, look like a normal person, take payment, and leave, though that’s not what many porn movies would have you believe is involved in pizza delivery. By the same token, the vast majority of women do not expect their men to look perfect and have an impressive penis that gets rock hard on demand and lasts for an indefinite amount of time.

Erectile dysfunction

Do you really think your partner cares whether you look and perform like a porn star?

 

Most women (and men for that matter) fall in love with a person and have that emotional connection heavily influence their physical desire for that person. This is why you can think you have a “type” of partner you prefer, but then are confounded to find yourself falling for someone far different from that physical type.

7. Porn Is the Sexual Version of the “Big Car Chase Scene”

When you watch a thrilling car chase scene in an action movie, you can suspend disbelief and feel as if you’re involved in the action. Then, when it’s over, you carefully guide your Ford Focus out of the movie theater parking lot and drive home without incident or excitement. The sex in porn scenes is the equivalent of those big chase scenes in that they’re highly exaggerated versions of something that actual people experience in much more mundane circumstances all the time. You don’t expect to be able to jump over a moving train in your Camry, and similarly, you shouldn’t expect the “sex scenes” in your real life to resemble those in adult entertainment.

Most of us have no trouble understanding, for example, that home makeover crews can’t actually turn an eyesore into an architectural gem in half an hour. And we know we’re unlikely to have to evade angry mobsters on the drive home. Yet we can watch porn and wonder what we’re doing wrong in real life, and why we don’t look like the people on the screen. Relax. A loving partner isn’t going to demand that you look and perform like a porn star, and chances are, you don’t demand that from your partner either.

Along with the massive increase in the amount of porn the average person has access to 24/7, there have been positive changes for ordinary people, including the development of medications that successfully treat erectile dysfunction. In fact, medications like Viagra are often kept on standby during filming of adult entertainment to keep shooting schedules from being disrupted.

Erection problems among regular guys are thankfully no longer considered a taboo topic, and nearly two decades of history with erectile dysfunction medications have caused doctors to completely re-think why erection problems happen and how to treat them. eDrugstore.com delivers name brand prescription erectile dysfunction medications including Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra to thousands of customers, providing great prices, fast and discreet shipping, and convenience that simply can’t be matched. We invite you to explore our blog and learn more about erectile dysfunction and sexual health overall.

Don Amerman has spent more than three decades in the business of writing and editing. During the last 15 years, his focus has been on freelance writing. For almost all of his writing, He has done all of his own research, both online and off, including telephone and face-to-face interviews where possible. Don Amerman on Google+