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Highlights
- Testosterone is the male sex hormone, linked to fertility and sex drive.
- Single men have higher testosterone levels compared to men in long-term relationships.
- Becoming a father reduces your testosterone levels.
- Low testosterone is connected to problems with sex drive.
- Erectile dysfunction may be a secondary result of low T.
When we think of testosterone, often an image of a strong man comes to mind. Someone like James Bond — masculine, aggressive, surrounded by women, but forever single. Is there any truth to these popular beliefs about men and testosterone? Maybe — but probably not in the way you think! Read on to learn more about the surprising links between testosterone levels, relationships, and sexual functioning.
The Role of Testosterone in Men’s Lives
Testosterone is often dubbed the “macho hormone.” While women’s bodies also produce this hormone, testosterone levels are much higher in men. In puberty, the rising levels of testosterone allow people with testicles to sexually mature.
In adulthood, testosterone supports male fertility, sex drive, bone density, muscle mass, and many other important functions.
Despite popular beliefs, T levels alone are not to blame for violence, but they may play a role in aggressive behaviors. Part of the explanation is the competition-boosting effect of the hormone.
Relationship Status Impacts Testosterone Levels
We know that male hormone levels change with age, but are there other factors that affect testosterone? Surprisingly, scientists believe relationship status and fatherhood can change your T levels. Here’s what we know so far.
Single Men Have More Testosterone
As a sex hormone, testosterone is connected to mating behavior, in both humans and animals. Single men tend to have higher T levels compared to men in relationships. The most likely explanation is that men without partners need a hormonal boost to stay competitive and find someone to mate with.
Testosterone Stays High in the First Year of a Relationship
A recent discovery sheds new light on the transition from higher to lower T once a man commits to a relationship. According to a 2015 study, testosterone remains high throughout the first year of a relationship. [Note that the research cited in this article applies to heterosexual couples.]
Experts speculate that newly paired men keep their male hormones high, either to strengthen connection to the partner they’ve committed to or to keep their options open.
T Levels Drop In Long-term Couples
Once a man commits to building a future together with a partner, his testosterone begins to decline. This happens in many cultures. For example a study from Northern Kenya confirmed that T declined after marriage even if a man had more than one wife.
Long-Distance Relationships Don’t Affect Testosterone Levels
To better understand what’s behind the hormonal change that happens to partnered men, researchers looked at people in long-distance relationships. As it turns out, physical presence of a partner is not a factor here. T levels did not differ much for guys who shared a home with their mate and those who lived far away from their partner.
Becoming A Father Changes Your Hormones
Entering a committed relationship is one key element in hormonal dynamics. Fatherhood is another major factor. Compared to childless men, dads’ testosterone levels are 26 percent lower in the morning and 34 percent lower in the evening. The younger the baby, the less “macho hormone” men will have.
Evolutionary scientists think that this change helps keep fathers home to take care of their offspring. Men with lower T may be less inclined to cheat or engage in risky sexual behaviors.
Testosterone and Sexual Health
Testosterone is a sex hormone; no wonder it’s vital for your fertility and sexual functioning. While high testosterone levels may not be good for relationships, low levels of the hormone can also cause problems.
Low testosterone can cause prostate issues, including cancer, and plenty of sexuality concerns are linked to low T levels.
Erectile Dysfunction
It’s a common misconception that low T is the leading cause of erectile dysfunction. While it can contribute, the reality is much more complex. Many men with low testosterone levels have no problems with erections.
However, low T can lead to certain health concerns that can cause ED. Here are just a few:
- Low libido
- Prostate enlargement
- Depression
- Weight gain
If you notice recurring problems with erections, talk to your doctor. Some men might need lifestyle changes or psychological counseling to get those hard-ons back, but for others, all that’s needed is simple treatment with Viagra or another ED medication.
Lower Sex Drive
If you think of male virility and sex drive, you must think of testosterone. This hormone helps you keep a steady interest in lovemaking. According to a 2021 British study, men with higher testosterone masturbate more often.
This link between male libido and testosterone sheds some light on why sex drive declines with age. T levels peak in the teenage years, reaching their highest levels around age 19. Then they fall gradually up to the age of 40.
Higher Levels in Men Who Cheat
Higher T levels can keep a man in constant “seeker” mode. He’s on the lookout for new sexual partners and is ready to compete for them against other males. This theory holds true not only for single guys, but also those who have a steady partner but are willing to cheat.
A 2011 study revealed that those in a relationship but showing interest in having sex outside the relationship had testosterone levels comparable to single guys.
Enjoy Sex Regardless of Testosterone Levels
If the news about testosterone, relationships, and sex has left you worrying about the future of your sex life, don’t despair. Hormones are but one component of your sexuality and your life with a partner.
You can enjoy sex even if T levels start dropping and sexual problems begin. But for this, you may need professional support. If you notice symptoms of low testosterone, such as low sex drive or erectile dysfunction, talk to you doctor as soon as you can.
To find the best solutions, you need to understand the cause of your sexual difficulties. Sometimes, talking to a couples therapist can help resolve deeper issues. In many cases, a prescription for ED medication is all you need to get your intimate life back on track.
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Anka Grzywacz is a sexologist, reproductive health expert and Certified Sex Coach™. In her online practice she helps busy women and couples solve their intimate problems.