Couple walking together outside.

How to Have “The Talk” with Your Partner: Erectile Dysfunction

Do you remember the time your parents tried to have “The Talk” with you? The one where they tell you about sex and how to avoid unplanned pregnancy? These conversations can feel awkward for teens and adults alike. You want to get this over with as soon as possible.

When you suspect you may have ED, it’s like history repeating itself. Only now, you have to talk about intimate issues with another adult, your partner or spouse. It’s still awkward, isn’t?

It’s normal to feel this way. Erectile dysfunction is a taboo in our society. Men are expected to be ready for lovemaking whenever the mood strikes. Their erections should be strong and long-lasting. Reality, however, is more complicated.

Opening Up About Your ED

An honest conversation about ED can clear up the atmosphere in your relationship. Let’s be honest here: erectile problems are difficult to hide. It’s likely that your partner has already noticed.

So here is the situation you are in right now: you both know something is not right. Someone needs to gather the courage and start talking. If you don’t, your intimate life will only get worse.

Opening Up About Your Erectile Problems May Be Difficult

I often tell the couples I work with to let more air into their relationship. What I mean is to bring more openness and honesty into your conversations. I know, easier said than done. Here are some tips to get you started:

How to Have ‘The Talk’ About ED with Your Partner

  1. Find the right time. Before or after sex may not be the best choice. Find a more casual moment. Think of a place where you can chat undisturbed. A lazy walk in the park works best. You may hold hands but don’t need to maintain constant eye contact. Makes things feel a little less awkward, if you’re new to this.
  2. Admit to the discomfort. Tell her or him that you are ashamed. Don’t try to play the hero. Brené Brown, bestselling book author and TED Speaker, calls these tough conversations “rumbling with vulnerability”. Saying you’re afraid doesn’t make you weak. It shows you trust and respect your partner.
  3. Explain what is happening. Talk about the ED symptoms you have noticed. For example, you may be losing your erections in the middle of intercourse. Ask your partner, what she or he has noticed and how they feel about it.
  4. Ask for help. This may be the hardest part. Men in our culture are brought up thinking they should always be strong. As a result, they have no clue how to ask for help. Think about it this way: together you have a better chance to solve this problem. Relationships are teamwork.
  5. Decide on next steps. Brainstorm creative ways to have fun in bed despite weak erections. Make an appointment with your family doctor. He or she who will examine you and offer the best treatment.
Ask your partner for help even if it feels difficult

Ask your partner for help even if it feels difficult.

What Your Partner Needs to Know About Viagra Treatment

Your physician may prescribe ED medication, such as Viagra. Using those pills will help you get your confidence back. Viagra is very effective in treating ED. According to studies, up to 82 percent of men see an improvement in their erections after using the pills.

Remember, it’s not enough to have one conversation about ED with your partner. Make sure to check in regularly and discuss the progress of your treatment. For example, you partner needs to know that it may take up to an hour for Viagra to take effect.

Make use of this time to build intimacy by kissing, hugging and pleasurable touch. To fill your prescription for ED medication online, visit

Anka Grzywacz is a sexologist, reproductive health expert and Certified Sex Coach™. In her online practice she helps busy parents solve their intimate problems.