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“I’m not sure…” It’s the most common answer right now given by people asked out on a date. When it comes to intimacy in times of Coronavirus pandemic, nothing is certain.
Postponing in-person meetings seems like a responsible decision at the moment. How can we meet new people when quarantines and social distancing rule the world?
It’s strange to see World Health Organization recommendations quoted in a Tinder pop-up. Dating and social apps are currently recommending their users to stay safe and follow official guidelines. In many parts of the world today that translates into self-isolation at home and social distancing in public. What does it mean for people who are currently single and dating?
Is Coronavirus transmitted sexually?
Sexual health experts say that so far it has not been proven that COVID-19 can be transmitted by intercourse. That doesn’t mean, however, that there is no risk. We don’t know enough about the nature of this virus. What we do know is that you can catch it through droplets of saliva or contact with nose discharge. That means coughing and sneezing. Or touching the surfaces somebody coughed or sneezed on.
So while we still don’t know if it’s possible to catch the virus by an exchange of sexual fluids, it’s impossible to eliminate the risk from sexual encounters. After all, we don’t make love dressed in full-body latex suits and even if we do, we still have openings for mouth and nose. And that’s more than enough for Coronavirus.
Can you get Coronavirus through kissing?
OK, but if you go out on a first date you may just want to hold hands and kiss, like in your teenage years. Well, bad news for you too. Hand-holding might be considered low risk if you both clean your hands before and after but maintaining a safe distance while touching? That’s a bit of a challenge.
Kissing someone on the mouth or even a cheek puts you at a certain risk of contracting COVID-19. There’s no avoiding the exchange of saliva here.
Can you go out on a date during the Corona pandemic?
We can still try and make it platonic. Dinner and good old conversation, some might suggest. For starters, it won’t be so easy to get a table at a restaurant these days. In many countries, these businesses are not allowed to operate at the moment.
Even if you both drove to a public park somewhere and had a walk together, you’d still need to maintain a safe distance of about 6 feet. Not too romantic to have to scream at each other and not being able to even hug for goodbye.
Use video conferencing to meet new people
So yes, avoiding real-life dates is the safest and most socially responsible solution right now. By staying at home you not only protect yourself but those most vulnerable in our society, like elderly people.
Videoconferencing on FaceTime or Skype is the last resort. I know, I know, it reminds you of your weekly calls with your boss (the very definition of unromantic, right?) but give it a try. Dating apps such as Bumble are even introducing their own video chats. Meeting new people this way is becoming very convenient.
For a video chat, you don’t need to sit at your desk. Grab your phone, light some candles, play music in the distance. You can even agree to eat a similar meal while you talk. Being on video can actually help you get to know the new person better. You focus on the conversation instead of the (possible) sex after or who gets the check.
If you’re a guy struggling with ED, you may feel relieved to be able to postpone the conversation about your intimate problems until later, when you have built some level of trust with your new friend.
During an online date, you stay focused. You listen carefully. If you’re creative, you can even organize a watch party and have a movie night together. And if you start feeling a bit sexier after, you can experiment with phone sex. Worried to do it on video? Try a voice call or even text chat. Use your imagination!
How social distancing can help your love life
If you’re a single person looking for something more than a one-night-stand, now is a good time for you. Since we’re not supposed to meet in person, we’ll be spending more time talking to each other on dating apps. And this is your chance to meet people genuinely interested in a committed relationship.
Singles are a group affected by the COVID-19 pandemic in very specific ways. Many are locked at home alone and in great need of human connection. People will be opening up and looking for more depth in online contacts. While this can be an opportunity for you to meet someone interesting, do keep in mind that this is a very special time.
Don’t get your hopes up and grow big expectations for when you finally meet that new person for a date. Once the risk of dying from an unknown disease is gone, some people may withdraw emotionally and go back to their “hook-up” mode. Trust your intuition and practice common sense.
And if you feel this whole online thing is not for you, use the time of quarantines to get to know yourself better. Meditate, journal, think about your romantic and bedroom needs. Analyze your past relationships to understand what you are looking for in another person. Note where your limits are and what you don’t want. Knowing yourself is key to a happy love and sex life.
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Anka Grzywacz is a sexologist, reproductive health expert and Certified Sex Coach™. In her online practice she helps busy women and couples solve their intimate problems.