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We’ve all heard the platitude that “the brain is the most important sex organ” (and may take exception to it, depending on circumstances), but if you think about it, it’s true. For some people, “sexting” can be an excellent way to stimulate the brain toward sexual thoughts.
Sexual activity is multisensory, psychological, social, emotional, physical, and chemical, and orchestrating all of this can only happen with the brain. Sometimes the identical situation with two separate partners can be a turn-on with one, and a turn-off with the other, because of all the nuances that our brains process during sexual activity.
The fact that so many people are visually excited by sexual images is more proof that our brains are our sexual masters. In fact, with the advent of instant mobile communication, “sexting” (the sending of sexually explicit texts or photos) is turning out to be a powerful tool that keeps some couples in happy anticipation of later sexual activity.
First Things First: Consent Is Essential
It bears repeating that with sexting, consent among the communicants is essential. Receiving an unsolicited explicit photo or text can be anything from welcome to annoying to enraging, so it’s absolutely essential that you and your partner are in agreement about how much sexting is acceptable, and if there are times when you should refrain (like when she’s arguing an important case in front of an appellate court judge, for example).
It’s also a good idea to talk about what each of you considers to be sexually provocative. What you consider explicit and what your partner considers explicit may be different, and that’s OK. What’s important is that you respect each other’s boundaries. If you prefer photos of specific body parts and your partner prefers sexually provocative statements in text form, you can account for those differences to make sexting more satisfying for both of you.
Americans Do It More Than Europeans
A recent study in the UK found that, to no one’s surprise, sexting is a popular pastime. But there were a few surprises in the data. For one thing, more than one-quarter of American men and women over age 45 have sent someone a sexual photo, so it isn’t just the young and in-shape participating.
The study also found that in all age groups, men were more likely than women to send sexually explicit photos, and Americans were more likely than Europeans to do so. Women are more likely to send photos of their breasts than men are of their bare chests, and men are likelier than women to send photos of their genitals. Fifteen percent of American men and 14% of European men have sent fully nude photos. For women, the numbers are 4% for Americans and 9% for Europeans.
How Sexting Affects Sex
According to a study by Drexel University, sexting isn’t done primarily by single people looking for casual encounters, but is actually more likely among people in committed relationships. Does this indicate that sexting benefits intimate relationships? It would appear so. Authors of the study found that greater levels of sexting were correlated with greater sexual satisfaction, particularly among people in relationships with each other.
Greater levels of sexting correlated with greater satisfaction except in one scenario, when relationships were characterized as “very committed,” in which case sexting appeared to have no effect on sexual satisfaction. The sample size of the study was relatively small, and researchers were quick to point out that the study focused on sexts between consenting adults rather than unwanted explicit photos, which many people consider as harassment.
Who Gets Unsolicited Sexts?
Women, mostly. Forty-one percent of women and 22% of men reported receiving unwanted sexts. But a survey by dating app Tinder found that women are more likely than you may think to send unsolicited sexts. People generally don’t like receiving unsolicited sexts, so if you’re at all unsure whether to go ahead and do so, it may be better to err on the side of caution until you get the go-ahead from the receiving party.
Before you send that first explicit text and haven’t talked specifically about it, it’s probably wise to ask yourself the following questions before hitting “send”:
- Do you know the recipient will be turned on, or are you only assuming they will be?
- Are you sending the message or photo with no pretext or context whatsoever?
- Are you sending an unsolicited photo of your genitalia? It’s a good way to get your number blocked.
Likewise, if you have sent someone multiple sext messages and they haven’t responded, don’t assume their phone battery died. Their silence on the matter speaks volumes, and you should respect that.
Illegal Sharing: Don’t Even Think About It
Posting someone else’s explicit photos or messages online is illegal. Around 8% of American men and 7% of American women have reported their explicit photos being shared without their permission. This is not only illegal, but it’s a lowdown thing to do to someone, so don’t.
Among Consenting Adults, Sexting Can Spice Up Sex
All that said, sexting among consenting adults is correlated with a more satisfying sex life. Sixty-one percent of people who received sext messages daily said they were “very satisfied” with their sex lives, compared to 42% who sexted weekly, and 33% who sexted “a few times a month.” People who only sent explicit messages “a few times in my life” were the least likely to report being very satisfied with their sex life.
In healthy relationships, sexting builds anticipation much like a movie thriller or potboiler novel builds anticipation.
And when the event that all the anticipation leads up to eventually happens, it can be more exciting and satisfying for both partners.
So as long as both you and your partner are in agreement about what constitutes a sext and how frequently it should be done, carry on with it. It can add excitement to your sex life, and who doesn’t like that?
Having a great sex life is a matter of finding the right partner, making an emotional connection, and being physically healthy. Problems like erectile dysfunction are usually caused by insufficient circulation to the penis, and medications like Viagra are designed to address this very issue. If you are interested in learning more about erectile dysfunction and how it is treated, we invite you to check out our ED medication guide. To order Viagra and other prescription ED medications with outstanding online convenience, discretion, and customer service, visit eDrugstore.com to start your order.
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