If you’ve been racing against the clock, trying to get in as much sex as you can before your interest in it wanes, you might as well slow down and enjoy things a bit more. If you play your cards right, you should be able to have an active sex life well into your golden years.
Stephanie A. Sanders, Ph.D., associate director of the prestigious Kinsey Institute, the sexual research organization based at Indiana University, offers some reassurance for those rapidly approaching their senior years. In an interview with HealthDay.com, she explains that “there is no age limit on sexuality and sexual activity.”
Staying Healthy Is Critical
Although it might mellow somewhat, sexual desire has no expiration date. Staying healthy will help to ensure that you can act on that desire long after retirement. However, both men and women are likely to experience some aging-related changes in sexual response and level of desire. Preparing for such changes and making the necessary adjustments as they occur can keep your love life active as you age.
For example, men may find it more challenging to get and keep an erection as they age. Fortunately, modern medicine has developed a number of therapies to help men overcome these erection problems. Their orgasms will tend to be somewhat shorter and less intense, and their ejaculations will produce less semen than they did at a younger age.
Problems Women Face
Among post-menopausal women, the decline in estrogen levels can lead to vaginal dryness, which can make intercourse painful if left untreated. However, the use of vaginal lubricants can usually overcome this age-related problem. Older women may also find it more difficult to become aroused, another effect of declining estrogen levels. They may find that they are less sensitive to touching and stroking than they were when they were younger. A partner sensitive to this problem can take the time to ensure that the woman is fully aroused before attempting to initiate sexual intercourse.
The English Longitudinal Study of Aging, or ELSA for short, collected a broad array of data from roughly 6,200 English men and women who were 50 and older. The questions put to this group covered various aspects of their wellbeing as well as their health, social, and economic circumstances. These questions also offered a sneak peek at the sex lives of England’s senior citizens.
Many Still Active Past 80
Among other things, this far-reaching survey revealed that a sizable minority of the men and women over 80 are still sexually active. Not surprisingly, men in this age bracket seemed significantly more active than women. ELSA revealed that men between the ages of 80 and 90 are three times more likely to masturbate as women in the same age group.
Among the men in the 80-to-90 age group, 31 percent reported that they had had sex or masturbated in the previous year. This compared with a rate of 59 percent among men in the 70-to-79 age group. Fourteen percent of women in the 80-to-90 group reported that they had masturbated or had sex in the previous year, which compared with 34 percent of women in the 70-to-79 age group.
Sexual Health Survey
In a related study out of the United Kingdom, researchers from the University of Manchester’s School of Social Sciences and the U.K.’s NatCen Social Research collaborated on an examination of sexual health among the elderly. That study was published in the January 2016 issue of “Archives of Sexual Behavior.”
Among the most startling findings from that study, which was led by David M. Lee, Ph.D., was the discovery that health and relationship problems were the primary reasons for the decline in sexual activity and not the aging process itself.
Also surprising was the willingness of respondents to the study’s survey to answer direct questions about their sexual health and activity. Only 3 percent of the more than 7,000 respondents refused to answer such questions.
First to Include Those Over 80
According to Lee, the sexual health survey was the first of its kind to include English men and women over the age of 80. He said that researchers hope “our findings improve public health by countering stereotypes and misconceptions about late-life sexuality and offer older people a reference against which they may relate their own experiences and expectations.”
Lee said that this groundbreaking research has revealed a great deal about the diversity of sexuality and sexual activity among the elderly. He also said that it was important to recognize that imposing “youthful norms of sexual health on older people would be over-simplistic and even unhelpful.”
Among sexually active female respondents to the survey, the most widely reported problems were difficulty in becoming aroused, reported by 32 percent, and difficulty in achieving orgasm, reported by 27 percent. Among men, the most widely reported problem was erectile dysfunction, reported by 39 percent of male respondents.
Male respondents to the sexual health survey were more likely than women to indicate that chronic health conditions and poor self-rated overall health had a significant adverse impact on their sexual function. Men also expressed greater concern than women about the likely effects of advancing age on their sexual function and activity.
In a somewhat more modest U.S. study, the American Sexual Health Association in 2014 conducted a survey of roughly 3,000 adults ages 40 to 74, all of whom were in committed relationships. The majority of respondents to that survey said that they felt happy and healthy when their sex lives were fulfilling. However, almost half of the respondents said they would prefer a greater frequency of sexual activity than they were presently experiencing. The average frequency of sex among all respondents was five encounters a month. Among men who wanted more sex, 10 times a month was the magic number, while women looking for more sex said they’d be satisfied with eight times a month.
Gender-Specific Priorities
Discussing other findings from the U.S. survey, Fred Wyand, director of communications for ASHA, noted that men and women seem to have different priorities when it comes to the subject of improving intimacy. “Women, for example, said their priorities were improving the ability to have an orgasm, emotional bonding with their partners, and just a general enjoyment of sex.” By contrast, men seem to focus more on their physical ability to have sex, he said. Male respondents also expressed an interest in “being able to experiment and try new things.”
Interviewed for an article posted at HealthDay.com, Connie Goldman, author of “Late-Life Love: Romance and New Relationships in Later Years,” says that in researching her book she has found that “sexual attraction and sensual feelings do not go away with age.” While the burning passion that one feels as a teenager may not be present, sexual desire continues, according to Goldman, who is in her mid-70s. “We find a way to express our sensual feelings, not to mention our affection.”
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