Yep, that’s right. There’s a nasal spray that can help you keep from arguing with your spouse.
But of course, this is no normal nasal spray. Scientists discovered some time ago that when oxytocin, the so-called love hormone, hits our bloodstream, we’re more likely to feel trust and well-being, allowing us to bond with those around us.
Not until recently, though, had experiments been done with arguing couples. A new study confirms that oxytocin can be delivered through the nose to great effect for couples.
The Experiment
The first tests were conducted at Zurich university, where forty-seven couples were chosen. Each couple was 20-50 years old, and they were either married or had been cohabiting for at least a year.
During the study, each couple chose a topic that caused contention in their relationship. They were then given a spray, which either contained the hormone oxytocin or a placebo. Afterward, they were left alone in a room and filmed while discussing the issue.
Scientists found that compared to a placebo effect, men and women who were given oxytocin improved their ability to relate and communicate. Men were more engaged and more positive, while women were friendlier and less demanding. These changes were clearly a marked improvement over normal behavior.
It’s also interesting to note that in general, women were calmer and friendlier. The researchers even tested markers for neurological activity, and found that oxytocin decreased their levels of activity. In men, the effect was opposite, with oxytocin increasing their levels: they became more engaged and perceptive of social cues. These findings are 
relatively harmonious with the observation that during arguments, women tend to show more demanding behavior more frequently, and men tend to withdraw.
Taking The Heat Out of An Argument
It’s certainly positive news that oxytocin can reduce the destructive behavior we see during arguments, and that in itself should help more couples find solutions for their problems, if this product were ever to hit the market.
It can’t be overlooked, however, that there’s no assurance that oxytocin suddenly helps an answer appear if a couple is experiencing ongoing issues. Some problems are the result of deeper incompatibilities, and although I’m sure this spray could help a couple weather out a rough patch, it won’t be a cure all for relational worries. The solution might, after all, be an amicable and friendly dissolution of the relationship.
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