The Icelandic Phallological Museum displays hundreds of penises from animals, as well as a few that once belonged to characters of folklore and mythology. And, believe it or not, it’s one of the hottest tickets in Reykjavik.
By DAN SEITZ
You may have heard of the Iceland Phallological Museum and thought it was a joke. Surely there isn’t some guy in Iceland collecting penises from animals!
There is. His name is Sigurdur Hjartarson. He lives in Reykjavík, he’s a teacher, he’s married with children, and amazingly enough, he has no arrest record. And apparently his collection keeps growing. Yes, there is a subculture of animal penis collectors, and Hjartarson owns and runs their greatest dream.
So far, Hjartarson has collected 282 specimens from 93 animals, either dried or kept in formaldehyde, collected over 25 years. In fact, Hjartarson has a penis from almost every mammal in Iceland. He’s a self-proclaimed “phallologist” who knows absolutely everything about every penis he’s collected. If you want to know the difference between a seal penis and a whale penis, Hjartarson is your man, so to speak. This is a man who really, really loves the penis. If he hears about a beached whale, he immediately runs to the beach to ask for the whale’s penis.
To keep the collection together, because we’re sure there’s a huge market for preserved chopped-off genitals of various animals, it’s on display, three hours a day, every day, in a location roughly the size of your average convenience store. There are penises in display cases, penises mounted on the walls, and penises preserved in jars. Everywhere, in this small space, there are penises. There are three-foot-long whale penises. There are the penis bones of animals that keep them in a constant state of erection. He’s even branched out to other countries and has been collecting penises from overseas. There’s so much penis here even the internet probably has trouble topping the amount of penis Hjartarson has on display. And you can experience it all for only a few bucks, because there’s nothing more exciting than being crammed into a small room with nearly 300 preserved penises from animals who probably would greatly miss them. And with ’70s wood paneling to boot. We wonder what he told the landlord when he rented the place.
If that weren’t disturbing enough, he also has “folkloric” penises, which are the penises of various mythical creatures that supposedly live in Iceland. Yes, this museum is run by a man who sincerely believes somebody castrated an elf and gave him the penis. He even claims to have a ghost’s penis. It must go well with his collection of penis-themed art.
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