The Penis Speaks Up
Once upon a time, there was a sad little penis. Well, actually it wasn’t all that little. But the penis was quite sad.
One day it woke up and realized that it just wasn’t as young as it used to be, and erection dysfunction had made it more difficult for the penis to do the things it used to do.
It wasn’t as active as it once was and sometimes it would just lie around, hoping the erection difficulty would stop ruining its fun and just go away on its own.
After several months of frustration and waiting, the penis decided it wasn’t going to take this loss of erection thing lying down anymore. It decided to put in a call to the brain.
“Hey,” the penis said to the brain. “This erection problem is driving me crazy. Are you feeling down? Stressed, tired? They say erection issues can sometimes start upstairs, if you know what I mean. Is everything OK with you?”
The brain said, “I was going to ask you the same thing. I’ve got a lot on my mind, but basically I’m fine. I was wondering what’s going on with you. I hear that erection issues is sometimes just a mechanical problem. Maybe you’ve got to get some more blood flowing down there?”
The penis thought about this for a minute and then said to the brain, “Look…you’re the brain here. I’m just the penis. But someone told me that Viagra can work wonders for erection problems. Maybe it’s worth a try. This erection problems is really cramping my style.”
“That’s a terrific idea, especially coming from a penis. Tell you what…let me talk to the legs. They’ll take us over to the pharmacy for some Viagra.”
Mouthing Off At the Pharmacy
The next day they all went to the local pharmacy. The brain stopped the legs just outside the front door.
The penis gave the brain a little nudge. “What’s wrong? We came all the way down here for some Viagra. Let’s go.”
The brain stammered, “I….Ur…um. Well, I’m just a little embarrassed going in and asking for Viagra. Erection problem or no, it’s a bit awkward, don’t you think?”
“Are you kidding me?” asked the penis, now prodding the brain more firmly into the drug store.
“Erection problems are nothing to be ashamed of. Most of us get it some time or another. Believe me…the Viagra will be worth it. Besides, it’s the mouth that’ll be doing the talking, not you.”
Not entirely convinced, the brain agreed nonetheless, and a minute later the mouth was talking to the pharmacist about the unusual weather. Soon enough the conversation turned to erection dysfunction and Viagra.
Finally, the pharmacist said, “Look, I’d like to help you. Lots of my customers swear by Viagra. They tell me their sexual dysfunction is a thing of the past. The thing is, though, Viagra is available by prescription only. You’ll have to come back with a Viagra prescription before I can give you the medicine.”
The eyes stole a sorry glance down in the direction of the penis. The mouth thanked the pharmacist and they all left. No Viagra today.
The Brain’s Big Idea
The penis thought long and hard about it. “If we want to get rid of this erection issues, we’ll just have to go see the doctor, and I’m sure he’ll give us a Viagra prescription.”
“Look,” said the brain. “I know erection issues are nothing unusual and lots of men take Viagra. But I’m still not real comfortable talking about our problem. Maybe we should just wait for the erection problems to go away by itself.”
“Yeah. I’m hungry,” said the stomach. “Can’t we go get some pizza or something?”
“Are you guys crazy!” shouted the penis. “I can’t take this loss of erections anymore. I don’t know about you, but I need Viagra.”
Then the brain got an idea. “Let’s go home. I think I’ve got an idea that could just mean the end of this poor erection problems.”
The Fingers Snap into Action
When they got home, the brain had a word with the hands, which themselves were all too aware of the problems that loss of erection had created. A few minutes later, the fingers were at the keyboard and mouse, clicking away until they found an online Viagra pharmacy.
“I knew it!” exclaimed the brain. “We can order the Viagra right on the Internet. Lots of web pharmacies offer online consultations and prescriptions. No need for awkward trips to the drugstore or embarassing discussions about erectile dysfunction in the doctor’s office.”
“How soon will we have the Viagra?” asked the penis excitedly.
“It says here that most orders are shipped with 24 hours,” answered the brain. “Hello Viagra… goodbye erectile dysfunction.”
The Penis Perks Up
A few days later the Viagra delivery arrived. When the time came, the mouth dutifully swallowed the first pill.
The brain and the penis waited around for about half an hour, killing time by arguing over which of them was really responsible for causing sexual dysfunction in the first place.
Just when the penis was getting a little bored with all this talk of Viagra and erection health, it suddenly turned to the brain and said a little nervously, “I’m sorry, but I think something’s coming up. I’ve got to go.”
“Don’t be sorry,” said the brain. “Just remember what we have to do the next time this erection problem shows up.”
“That won’t be hard,” replied the penis. “But it looks like I will be. See ya later!”
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