We’ve received lots of testimonials from men about the effectiveness of Viagra and the helped their erection issues, but we thought it was high time we went straight to the most interested party and got his view on the blue miracle pill – Viagra.
We were allowed unlimited access in an open conversation that covered the triumphs and tragedies of an illustrious career. At 56, the Penis is looking better than ever, with only a few streaks of gray hair that tend to make him look distinguished.
But there’s still that gleam of mischief in his eye that made him such a hit in the past and the inspiration for so many articles, films and works of art, including the Broadway hit that won him the Tony award, Buy Viagra Online… Please.
The penis is grace under pressure personified, and he’s generous in his praise about how Viagra has helped his career.
eDrugstore: We appreciate you talking to us, and let me say it’s great to see you up and around again.
The Penis: Oh, thanks, no erection problem (yawn). Don’t mind me, you have to understand, I prefer working night hours, but any time’s good for me.
eDrugstore: Do we mind if we call you Dick?
The Penis: Everyone does. Dick, Big Willy, the Colonel… You wouldn’t believe the names they come up with at photo ops. I got to tell you the problem in this business is you’re only as good as your last appearance. You’re always being told: What have you done for me lately? But hey, my motto is, we work hard, we play hard!
And keep in mind I’ve had a long career. I started out alone, baby, and I was told that’s how it’s done at the beginning. Solo act, three shows a day sometimes. But I was tough – I didn’t mind being manhandled.
And look at the co-stars I’ve had along the way! I don’t have a bad word to say about any of them, because it’s the opportunity to work with these people and show them what I can do. So I’m not one to rest on my laurels. Come to think of it, that would make a very strange game of ring-toss.
eDrugstore: Um, but Dick, tragedy struck a couple of years ago, didn’t it? Is it okay to talk about it?
The Penis: Yeah, we can talk about it now (sniffle). One of my work colleagues suffered a heart attack, and what can I say? I feel for the big guy, you know? Something like that affects everyone who works here. I found myself lying around, doing next to nothing. I just couldn’t get interested, and when I was interested, well… I wasn’t operating at full strength.
Nobody said anything, of course, I mean, your partners are too polite for that, but you can see the disappointment in their eyes. Word gets around. There’s talk in the trades, and after a while, you’re not invited to as many big premieres – hell, you don’t even want to go out there. You lose your confidence. It’s… it’s… deflating.
eDrugstore: But you’re a survivor, Dick, everyone knows that now. What turned things around?
The Penis: I wish I could say it was my agent, but I got to tell you that his mouth really spoiled some golden opportunities for me! I mean how hard is it to just shut up sometimes and listen? Or to lie a little and say, "Hey, I love watching Desperate Housewives, I catch it all the time, babe." No, the real credit goes to Viagra. When we began to buy Viagra online for our loss of erections, things changed. I owe Viagra everything, buddy.
eDrugstore: I hear you can get really cheap Viagra now.
The Penis: Hey, you got to be careful with that "cheap Viagra" hype. Guys ought to be checking to make sure they order the FDA-approved stuff, especially if they’re trying to buy Viagra online. I’m telling you straight, there’s no such thing as "cheap Viagra" or "generic Viagra" – it just doesn’t exist, so don’t even bother looking for cheap Viagra, dude. And you should only be dealing with a reputable online pharmacy.
eDrugstore: What about the Viagra side effects that some people complain about? There’s been a lot of talk about that.
The Penis: Look, I’ve dealt with controversy all my life. Remember the whole big deal over going with or without a helmet? You still got people talking about the surgery there – personally, it happened to me when I was really young, and I don’t remember it, thank God, but I heard it was brutal. It wasn’t up to me at the time, but I’m sure glad I don’t have to face that ordeal now!
And I think this whole side effects issue is nothing to worry about if you buy Viagra online from a legit pharmacy. Yeah, there’s been talk about viagra side effects that are almost always mild to moderate, maybe some minor headaches, but hey, we got laid.
eDrugstore: Yes, but wouldn’t that be a problem for—
The Penis: But we got laid.
eDrugstore: Um, yes, we understand that, but still, if you talk about–
The Penis: Are you listening to me? We got laid. We don’t care! Picasso could walk in and have an entire Cobalt Period. You know what’s good for headaches? Orgasms.
Okay, seriously, if you want to touch on that stuff, I got to tell you these Viagra side effects are mostly minor complaints that you just check out with the doc, right? I mean the trade-off in self-esteem, staying power – look, I’m trying to be firm but fair here.
eDrugstore: So to buy Viagra online for erection issues can really changes your life in a profound way?
The Penis: Absolutely! I’ve never been happier or more on my game. (Singing) I’m in the mood for love, simply because you’re near me…
eDrugstore: Wow, what a beautiful voice. By the way, do you have any hobbies?
The Penis: Yeah, I don’t know why, but for some reason I’m very drawn to architecture. But I prefer the classics, you know? I like the Empire State, Toronto’s CN Tower – gee, any large erection. I can’t explain my preference, but I’m sure there’s a psychological reason behind it.
eDrugstore: Well, Penis, it’s good to have you back with us.
The Penis: Hey, now that I can buy Viagra, I’m here to stay. I’m walking tall – well, I’m not walking, but I’m standing tall. And I do stand out, believe me. Sometimes I’m in a room, and I really get noticed. Like they say, you can’t keep a good man down!
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