Highlights
- Sexual satisfaction comes from seeing your experiences in a positive light, despite challenges and dysfunctions.
- Recent discoveries suggest that low sexual satisfaction may be a warning sign for cognitive health.
- To increase sexual satisfaction, focus on your strengths instead of dwelling on shortcomings.
- Intimate complications, such as diminishing erectile function, are treatable with medication.
Solving the New York Times crossword puzzle is good for your brain, but did you know that a night of hot sex may boost your cognitive health, too? Recent findings indicate that there’s a connection between men’s sexual satisfaction and cognitive function.
As a sex counselor, I guide couples toward erotic fulfillment. Try some of my tips to boost your sexual well-being and keep a sharp mind for longer.
A Therapist’s Insight Into Sexual Satisfaction
There are two angles to understanding sexual satisfaction. First, there’s individual satisfaction, which can take many forms, such as sexual pleasure, orgasm, or arousal.
Then, there’s the relational context of sexual satisfaction. Many of my clients tell me they take pleasure from knowing they can satisfy their partner and have fun together.
Sexual satisfaction doesn’t mean you can’t have conflicts or deal with dysfunctions. What matters is the big picture and the belief that sex is a positive force in your life.
Men’s sexual satisfaction is grossly misunderstood. For instance, there’s a stereotype that men’s needs are not complicated. “Just find him a willing lady, and he’ll be fine,” is a popular oversimplification.
Men’s satisfaction is often reduced to the frequency of intercourse and physical sensations. All too often, our society doesn’t take men’s emotional sensitivities into account.
Male sexuality is deeply misunderstood
Unveiling the Connection: Sexual Satisfaction and Cognitive Health
There’s a popular saying that the brain is our largest sex organ. New scientific discoveries show that there’s some truth to that. Our cognitive functioning — the way our brain works and processes information and stimuli — is linked to our sexual health, and the other way around.
Studies Reveal Cognitive Decline Warning Signs
An article published in Clinical Gerontologist described the results of a study of older married couples. Those with higher sexual satisfaction scores at the beginning of a ten-year research period were less likely to develop cognitive impairment or dementia later on.
Another research paper, published in the journal Gerontology, focused on male cognitive function and its relationship with sexuality. The observations pointed to an association between erectile dysfunction, low sexual satisfaction, and memory decline.
The underlying mechanism is not well understood, but experts believe that microvascular changes that contribute to sexual dysfunction signal bigger problems in the body, including the brain.
Sex therapists have always been aware that intimate challenges may be early signs of disease, from heart problems to depression. Now we know that we should pay extra attention to older men complaining about the loss of sexual satisfaction. Putting the pieces of the puzzle together can help detect signs of deteriorating cognitive health early.
Sexual concerns may be early warning signs for memory decline
Expert Tips for Enhancing Sexual Satisfaction
Satisfying sexual activity is like exercise for your brain. When you engage in intimacy, you give your body a sign to produce a powerful cocktail of hormones and chemicals that enhance cognitive function.
Here are some of the sexual satisfaction tips I give to my clients:
- Build on your strengths. Remember the definition of sexual satisfaction? It’s not so much about avoiding disappointment as it is about focusing on what works. Treat erotic setbacks as an opportunity to learn and move on. Do more of what lifts you and your partner all the way to cloud nine.
- Aim for good enough sex. This is my favorite tip for couples – aim for good enough, not for perfection. Would you rather have ideal sex twice a year or good-enough sex once a week? Good enough doesn’t mean bad quality. It’s about enjoying the sexual connection and accepting that things rarely go according to plan.
- Spice it up your way. You’ve heard the good advice to “spice things up” many times before, but what does it really mean? Many people don’t want to try kinky sex or dress up like lords and maidens, and that’s OK. Novelty doesn’t mean the same thing for everyone. For more traditional couples, adding oral pleasure to their sexy rituals will be a big step. And if you’ve tried many ideas already, grab one of our best sexology books and find something you’ve never done before.
Ditch perfectionism for greater sexual satisfaction
- Talk, talk, talk. The secret of sexual satisfaction is good intimate communication. How can you make things better if you don’t know what’s good and what isn’t? Your sexual relationship will grow if you share regular feedback. Make sure not to criticize your lover, especially while you’re making love. Find time for those conversations outside the bedroom, and reframe your needs in a positive way. Instead of saying, “Don’t do that,” say, “I wish you did more of that because that felt amazing.”
- Try sexual therapy. Sometimes the road to sexual satisfaction is filled with obstacles. Intimate problems, such as erectile dysfunction, can rob you of confidence and pleasure. If you suspect a sexual dysfunction, talk to a doctor or licensed sex therapist. Sexual therapy may also help if talking about intimacy is difficult and you don’t know where to start.
Your Path to Better Sexual and Cognitive Health
Sexual satisfaction and cognitive health are two important pieces of the men’s wellness puzzle. Researchers are discovering new links between a fulfilling sex life and brain health. Now, it’s up to you to take proactive steps and make sure your bedroom encounters are a source of pleasure for you and your partner.
eDrugstore Can Help
Don’t let intimate hurdles get in the way of sexual bliss. If you need a little help getting started, visit our erectile dysfunction page, or try our free, telemedicine consultation with a U.S.- licensed physician today.
Anka Grzywacz is a sexologist, reproductive health expert and Certified Sex Coach™. In her online practice she helps busy women and couples solve their intimate problems.