Highlights
- Couples who stop having sex often reduce all physical contact, such as kissing and hugging.
- Women’s sexual satisfaction drops if their partner has ED.
- Erectile dysfunction is usually easy to treat with medication.
- How to fix intimacy issues? Combine medical treatment with psychological counseling.
Erectile dysfunction can disrupt your life as a couple. Lack of sex can impact your mood and make you feel like you’re growing distant from your partner or spouse. However, erectile dysfunction is treatable, and there are ways to fix intimacy issues and strengthen your relationship after ED.
How ED Affects Intimacy
Intimacy is an important part of a relationship for most people. When a man begins to have problems with erections, sexual satisfaction suffers. Intercourse is no longer possible or gets interrupted when the penis loses its rigidity.
To make things worse, it’s not unusual for men with ED to develop premature ejaculation. So, even if intercourse happens, it will last for a short time, leaving one or both partners disappointed.
You Lose Much More Than Sex
As a sexologist, I see how bedroom problems can lead to a full-on relationship crisis. When two people stop having sex, they often stop touching one another altogether. As intimacy weakens, so does the bond between partners.
Sexual satisfaction is one of our basic needs as humans. While no one has ever died from the lack of sex, enduring long periods without pleasure can make you feel cranky or sad. And your mood will affect the atmosphere in your relationship.
Erectile Dysfunction Affects Women’s Satisfaction, Too
Research shows that female partners of men with ED have lower sexual satisfaction and desire compared to women with healthy partners.
If you’re in an intimate relationship with a woman, try to imagine what she’s going through. She may have to accept the lack of intercourse for a long time. Unreliable erections can also cause a lot of stress with birth control. If you’re using condoms, she may worry you’ll lose your erection and the condom will slip off.
Besides, many female partners feel guilty and insecure when their man gets ED. She may blame herself, or think you’re not attracted to her anymore.
ED Is Easy To Treat for Most Men
Losing your ability to get erect can be a blow to your masculinity, but there’s a way to go back to full sexual functioning.
Modern ED treatments, such as Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra are effective and safe for most men. Sometimes, you’ll need to introduce lifestyle changes, for example lose weight or quit smoking. And is there a better motivation to start a healthy habit than getting back to great sex?
If you have psychological ED, sometimes caused by performance anxiety, you may be referred to a psychotherapist and prescribed medication as needed (for example, something to help with anxiety).
How To Fix Intimacy Issues After ED
Erectile dysfunction is a complex matter. Even if the cause is physical, your feelings (and those of your partner) will be affected, too. Here are some tips to get back to a satisfying sex life after ED.
Small Steps Count
If you’re trying to rebuild your intimate connection, imagine you’re a teenager dating for the first time. You want to ease into it, starting with hugging and kissing. On your next date, it might be time for petting (that is, touching from the waist up).
When you’re ready, you can enjoy more intimate massage, oral pleasure, and move towards full intercourse. This approach will help you reduce feelings of anxiety and help rebuild intimacy.
Rediscovering Your Lover
Going back to sex after a break (or a challenging period) is an opportunity to learn new things about your partner. You can also get more creative and expand your erotic repertoire.
Yes, intercourse is on the menu again, but it doesn’t mean you have to limit yourself and only focus on penetration. Why not buy a few sex toys and play with them for a change? Or maybe you’re up for something more kinky? Sky’s the limit, and the world of sexuality offers infinite choices.
Don’t Let ED Spoil the Fun
Even with the best ED treatment, don’t forget that life is unpredictable. Erection problems may return from time to time. You could be stressed at work, or your body might be too tired.
Tell yourself that it’s okay and make the most of it. Sexual issues are a signal to take better care of yourself. Get that health checkup you’ve been postponing. Commit to a healthy sleep routine. Find ways to reduce stress in your daily life.
Even if intercourse is not possible that day, enjoy being close to your partner, sharing erotic fantasies, or exchanging tender touch. These small moments create a lasting and positive effect on your life together. You’ll both be in a better mood and kinder to one another if you keep the intimacy going.
Get Professional Counseling
ED can leave long-term scars on your confidence and well-being. Getting psychological help can speed up the treatment process.
Experts of the European Society of Sexual Medicine recommend combining medical and psychological treatments for best results. Couples counseling is another solution to consider. It will give you the tools to talk about taboo issues with ease.
Here’s what psychological counseling of ED might involve:
- Reducing anxiety
- Understanding and challenging negative beliefs
- Learning how to increase sexual stimulation
- Managing the avoidance of sexual contacts
- Increasing intimacy
- Improving communication in a relationship
Get Effective ED Treatment Now
If you suspect you may have erectile dysfunction, don’t wait too long to get help. Men often postpone a visit to the doctor because they feel ashamed or need more discretion.
Online pharmacies such as eDrugstore are the solution. Here you can consult a licensed physician discreetly and receive your prescription in one go. And when you order from eDrugstore, virtual health visits and shipping are always free. Learn more and order your medication here.
Anka Grzywacz is a sexologist, reproductive health expert and Certified Sex Coach™. In her online practice she helps busy women and couples solve their intimate problems.