Few phrases make people cringe as much as “It’s not you, it’s me.” However, when it comes to sexual dysfunction in the bedroom, maybe it’s not such a bad thing to hear. Erectile dysfunction (ED) affects more than 30 million men just in the United States. Though erectile dysfunction (ED) is a sexual dysfunction only experienced by men, it also affects their partners. Read below to learn what things men wish their partners understood better about ED.
Common ED Myths
At best, myths are a source of humor, like the myth that toilets flush in a different direction in the Southern hemisphere. At worst, myths can perpetuate shame and stigma, like those associated with ED. If men believe that ED is a personal failure or flaw in their masculinity, they may not feel comfortable talking to their partner or a doctor about it. Below are myths that men want to dispel for their partners.
Myths to Stop Believing
- He’s not into you anymore. One man who experienced ED said he regularly had partners ask if he was still attracted to them. Attraction wasn’t the problem, it was his nerves and inner dialogue.
- Medication can solve it. Medications like Viagra are great because they are really effective in temporarily improving circulation to help a man get adequate blood flow to the penis. However, while circulatory issues do contribute to the majority of ED cases in men, they are not the only cause.
- You don’t have to work harder. Similar to number 1, ED is not something the partner should feel responsible for fixing. Trying new moves or putting in more effort to try to fix a partner’s ED might in fact just create more anxiety for him.
- I’m less of a man. Historically, men’s sexual performance has been tied to their masculinity. Today, however, men associate masculinity with being honorable, self-reliant, and respectable. Sex is an important part of relationships, but it’s not the only part. Remember the man your partner is outside of the bedroom.
How to Help your Partner with ED
Anyone can experience ED, even Olympic athletes. It is not something to be ashamed of or to hide from. Men’s partners can play an important role in helping them deal with ED by:
- Providing support. Just like you may be worried that your partner is no longer attracted to you or tired of the same old routine in the bedroom, he might fear you are unhappy with him. Reassure him you’re by his side through this.
- Connecting outside of the bedroom. Sex is just one way to be intimate with your partner. Don’t discount the pleasure in kissing, cuddling, or getting to third base together.
- Talking about it. It is important to talk to your partner about his ED. You can encourage him to seek help from a medical professional and address lifestyle behaviors that may be contributing to his ED.
Find out more about ordering ED medications online at the eDrugstore Erectile Dysfunction page.
Kwynn holds a Master of Public Health and is currently pursuing a PhD in Social Work. Her research examines the intersections of health, technology, and gender-based violence.