Would you go to a 90-year-old woman for sex advice? Normally, that might not be your first choice, but if that woman is the famed sex and relationships therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer, you may want to think again. Starting with her radio show, “Sexually Speaking,” nearly four decades ago, Dr. Ruth has continued to bring sex into the mainstream.
If you think talking about sex is taboo now, imagine a woman hosting a sex-focused radio show in the early 80s. Spearheading sexual conversations through airwaves, on television shows, and in her books (46 of them, including Sex for Dummies), she normalized sexual issues like erectile dysfunction (ED), sex fantasies, and even now she tackles topics like dating apps.
This article highlights pieces of Dr. Ruth’s legacy, including her normalization of almost everything (though don’t ask her about sex with animals), and even offers advice for millennials 60 years her junior.
No Such Thing as Normal
One of Dr. Ruth’s most popular affirmations is that, as long as sex involves two consenting adults, there is no such thing as normal. Her viewpoint can be a source of comfort for anyone experiencing shame or stigma around sexual topics or issues, including erectile dysfunction (ED).
Another strong belief she holds that directly relates to ED issues? Age is just a number when it comes to sex. She believes men and women should, if they want, have sex well into their nineties, though she understands ageist stereotypes and ED-related worries persist.
She’s a fan of medications like Viagra for those who have been diagnosed with a physical cause of erectile dysfunction, but she also recommends being open to other options like going to see a sex therapist, as they can help men identify personal and relationship characteristics that may be contributing to their ED.
Having honest conversations with one’s partner should also not be overlooked. She encourages men to share their ED-related fears of being “less than” with their partners, as they can provide support and build their confidence.
Advice for Millennials
Dr. Ruth believes in open communication between partners, supports companionship for caregivers taking care of loved ones with disabilities, and even believes elderly individuals living in nursing homes should have access to dating rooms. She actually sees a lack of companionship and support among a surprising group of adults – millennials. She says millennials reach out to her, not about early ejaculation or organism questions, but about loneliness and finding a life partner.
Dr. Ruth knows millennials struggle with student loan debts and rising housing costs, but that doesn’t mean she will let the off the hook for skipping dating. On the contrary, she tells them to not be “stupid”, because sex is free. Dr. Ruth is not opposed to mobile dating apps, like Tinder, but warns that they may be a threat to the classic art of a meaningful conversation.
So, what lessons should we take away from the legendary sex therapist?
- Don’t worry so much about ED
- Have and enjoy sex, and remember
- There’s no such thing as normal
And if you’re a man dealing with ED, eDrugstore invites you to visit our Erectile Dysfunction page for more information.
Kwynn holds a Master of Public Health and is currently pursuing a PhD in Social Work. Her research examines the intersections of health, technology, and gender-based violence.