When you are in a relationship for any length of time, it is inevitable that you will hang out with groups of friends. You become friends with your girlfriends’ friends, and vice versa. Although this is an inevitable occurrence in life, you should be aware of how this can affect your relationship, and in particular your sex life.
A new study published by the American Journal of Sociology has shown that erectile dysfunction (ED) is more common among men who feel that their partner has a closer relationship with his friends than to him. This same effect can be seen in females, except it is expressed in a lack of sexual desire and lack of sexual arousal.
Although products such as Viagra can be used to correct ED, a situation like this may not necessarily warrant taking medication. For the female, there is really no medical solution. It’s all about understanding the dynamics of trust in an intimate relationship versus a “friends” relationship.
Too Close of Friendships Will Cause Insecurity
For men, much of the problem lies in their perception of masculinity and how they feel their partner “sees” them. Men are taught both by society and evolution to trust their partner with personal and private matters, and when their partner becomes too close with their friends, they can become concerned that this privacy is being breached. They may start to believe that too much personal information is being shared outside of the relationship, resulting in insecurity and trust issues. This translates to insecurity and trust issues in the bedroom which can lead to ED, and will become much worse over time if the man believes his partner may be discussing their bedroom problems with his friends.
For women, the situation is somewhat different. Although there is a concern about
privacy, this is compounded by the fact that a female will begin to wonder what her female friends are providing for their boyfriend that they can’t provide themselves. Why does my man need to spend so much time with another female? A woman’s arousal and intimacy is based on emotions, and if she is insecure or lacking trust then sexual intimacy will be very difficult for her. Again, this is compounded with time. If the female is not able to become aroused, or doesn’t feel like she is satisfying her man any more, she may suspect that he is cheating and eventually may seek this intimacy elsewhere, whether there is any real justification for the action or not.
The Key is Respecting Boundaries
The key here is to respect boundaries and to discuss these boundaries with your partner. If a “friend” relationship is becoming an issue in the bedroom, then sometimes it is necessary to take a step away from the friend in respect of your partner, and in order to maintain a healthy intimate relationship. Sadly, if your partner is not willing to do this, then you are probably not with the right person and your insecurities may have been confirmed. This doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you, but rather that you need to move on to someone who respects you enough to work out these types of issues.
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