No excuses
Make a promise to yourself and your partner that you will never utter these words: “I’m too tired.” This, or any other excuse, just won’t cut it if you’re making a commitment to improve your sex life. You can’t make excuses, no matter what kind of crappy day you had. Investing in intimacy should be a priority, says ob-gyn Renee Horowitz, founder of the Center for Sexual Wellness in Michigan.
Ditch the body issues
Few people in the world are 100 percent satisfied with their body, especially when the entire thing is on display. Don’t let your body issues keep you from an active and healthy sex life, sex educator and author Sadie Allison says.
“Ultimately, low self-image comes down to not being in love with yourself,” Allison tells WebMD. “And if you don’t love yourself, you’re not going to share yourself with someone else. Short of therapy for poor self-esteem, you can try finding things about yourself that you do like and focus on those sexually.”
Neither you nor your partner is a mind reader. You can’t expect to be satisfied in bed if you’re not telling each other what gets your motor running. Sex shouldn’t be a taboo subject, Allison says. Break down the barriers and have an open conversation about your likes and dislikes. Talk about everything from positions to sexual fantasies. The more honest you are, the better your sexual relationship will be.
Talking about sex also includes being honest about medical issues that are getting in the way of sex. For instance, if erectile dysfunction is plaguing your relationship, talk with a doctor about medications like Viagra or Cialis. If you’re dealing with body issues that go beyond “let’s shut the lights off” you should talk with a therapist and work through the issues.
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