Almost everybody wants to make a positive first impression. And this certainly applies to attitudes about your performance with a new sexual partner. It certainly makes sense, but how do you banish the nerves and self-consciousness that are likely to accompany intimacy in a brand-new relationship?
In a thoughtful article about the problem of sexual performance anxiety, BetweenUsClinic.com lists some of the concerns men may have before their first sexual encounter with a new partner. As you’ll see, this type of thinking can easily undermine a guy’s confidence and almost ensure failure to perform well. Typical troubling thoughts include:
- Suppose she thinks my penis is too small.
- Suppose she doesn’t like my body overall.
- What if I can’t get or keep an erection?
- What happens if I ejaculate too quickly or can’t bring her to orgasm?
- And, worst of all to many, what if she tells others of my disappointing performance?
In an article posted at MensFitness.com, psychotherapist Vanessa Marin offers these suggestions for minimizing performance anxiety.
- Calm your nerves. Accept that you’re experiencing first-time jitters and let it go at that.
- If anxiety is a problem for you, try exercise, meditation, mindfulness, and even psychotherapy to resolve your issues.
- Take it slow. Don’t rush things.
- Focus on foreplay. Instead of rushing into sexual intercourse, spend a few nights in foreplay, which will give you better insight into what turns her on.
- Don’t dismiss your performance concerns altogether, but slow things down and let them guide you to your best possible showing.
- Review your expectations. Are they realistic? Probably not. If you’ve set your expectations too high, modify them with a nod to reality.
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