7 Reasons to Talk about Impotence with Your Partner

For most men who begin to detect signs of impotence in their sex lives, it is difficult to admit to themselves — and accept the reality — that their equipment is no longer working as automatically and dependably as it once was.

For some, discussing their suspicions and fears with an intimate partner can pose an even more daunting challenge. However, sex therapists, urologists, and other medical professionals all seem to agree that winning the cooperation and assistance of your sex partner is an important first step in fighting back against impotence.

With TV commercials for impotence drugs such as Cialis and Viagra flooding the airwaves, it’s somewhat ironic that “it’s still very difficult for many couples to talk about sex, and especially to talk about erection problems,” according to Brian Zamboni, Ph.D.

Sex Talk Isn’t Always Easy

Zamboni, a clinical psychologist specializing in human sexuality at the University of Minnesota, told WebMD writer Peter Jaret that discussions about sexual dysfunction pose a particular problem for couples who don’t normally talk much about sex.

Part of the problem lies in the fact that “words are a big problem for many people,” Zamboni says. “Some people feel comfortable only with medical terms like penis. Others are more comfortable with slang terms. Any words will do, as long as they make it easy for a couple to talk openly.”

Zamboni points out that many books and websites provide useful suggestions for overcoming erection problems and making sex even better. Sharing a good website or book “can help give you permission — and a vocabulary — to talk together about ED and your sex life in general,” writes Jaret.

Many Treatment Options

Thanks to advances in medical knowledge and technology, erection problems are now more easily resolved than ever before. Admitting that you have a problem and discussing it with your intimate partner is a good way to get started on the road to recovery.

In an article posted at NetDoctor.co.uk, Dr. David Delvin, a general practitioner who specializes in family planning, and his wife, psychotherapist Christine Webber, discuss just some of the many reasons impotence sufferers need to be honest with their partners:

1. In the absence of an honest admission of erection difficulties, your partner is almost certain to be puzzled and confused by your growing lack of interest in having sex.
2. Your partner may mistakenly feel that she is no longer attractive to you or that you find some part of her body repulsive, dampening your interest in having sex.
3. Your partner may assume that your waning interest in having sex with her is a sign that you’re having sex outside of the relationship.
4. Your lover could also interpret your sudden loss of interest in having sex as a sign that you’ve developed homosexuality tendencies.

Avoid False Assumptions

Dr. Delvin and Webber note that your failure to fess up to your erection problems allows these false assumptions to gain strength and could prompt your partner to take retaliatory action by starting an affair of her own or, worse yet, initiating divorce proceedings.

By discussing frankly the erection problems you are having, you gain your partner as an ally in taking all necessary steps to recover from these early signs of impotence. According to Dr. Delvin and Webber, this leads to yet another set of reasons why enlisting the aid of your partner makes good sense:

1. By talking frankly about your symptoms of impotence, you hopefully will win the emotional support of your partner. Dr. Delvin and Webber write: “It is very important to know that the person who you love, and who loves you, is on your side in dealing with the difficulty. Now there will be two people fighting this battle.”
2. Your partner can sometimes help to get an erection when all else fails. Stimulation of your penis with the hands, mouth, or vibrator can help overcome mild symptoms of impotence.
3. Once you’ve shared your concerns about impotence with your partner, she can accompany you to the doctor to discuss various modes of treatment for your problem. According to Dr. Delvin and Webber, most medical professionals agree that the odds for a man’s recovery from erection problems improve significantly if his partner supports him and can come to the consultation with him.

Applies to Gay Couples Too

Although the observations above are couched in terms specific to heterosexual relationships, Dr. Delvin and Webber note that the views they express are “equally applicable to straight couples and (male) gay couples.”

In an article posted at EverydayHealth.com, contributor Chris Iliades, M.D., offers some tips to help intimate couples communicate more effectively about symptoms of impotence and other matters relevant to their sex lives:

• Frankly discuss your feelings about sexual matters — “Get them out in the open where you can start to deal with them.”
• Share with your partner what you like sexually and let her tell you about what turns her on.
• In your discussions about erection problems, be positive and reassuring to one another. In most cases, impotence can be treated effectively.
• Be supportive and patient with one another.

Teamwork Recommended

Dr. Iliades also offers some suggestions about how couples can tackle the problem of impotence as a team:

• Learn as much as you can about the symptoms of impotence — and its possible treatments — and share that information with your partner.
• Go to doctor’s appointments together.
• Review various ED treatment options as a couple, and try to decide which mode of treatment might be best for both of you.
• Experiment with ways of being intimate that don’t involve intercourse. “Consider alternate techniques to achieve sexual satisfaction.”
• If you are still having difficulty facing the challenge of erectile dysfunction, seek the services of a therapist specializing in couples counseling.

While they may not be the answer for all men suffering from erection problems, the family of PDE5 inhibitors offers what is probably the best weapon for fighting impotence that is currently available. These drugs are designed primarily to increase blood flow to the penis in cases where physical factors have reduced circulation to the point that it becomes difficult or impossible to get and keep an erection.

How Impotence Drugs Work

Available only by prescription, these drugs, which include Viagra, Levitra, Cialis, Staxyn, and Stendra, work by temporarily disabling the phosphodiesterase-5 enzyme, which can interfere with blood flow to the penis.

If you’re looking for a reliable online supplier of PDE5 inhibitors, visit the website of eDrugstore.com, where you can choose from the full range of this class of impotence drugs. All medications sold by eDrugstore are FDA-approved and are sourced from licensed U.S. pharmacies.

If you have a prescription for such a drug from your physician, you can fax or scan and email it to eDrugstore with your order. Alternatively, eDrugstore can arrange an online consultation for you with one of its contract physicians.

Don Amerman is a freelance author who writes extensively about a wide array of nutrition and health-related topics.