{"id":4216,"date":"2016-11-30T20:46:58","date_gmt":"2010-11-30T20:46:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.edrugstore.md\/articles\/?p=834"},"modified":"2010-11-30T20:46:58","modified_gmt":"2010-11-30T20:46:58","slug":"834","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/expert-interviews-and-podcasts\/834\/","title":{"rendered":"Interview with Certified Relationship Coach, Val Baldwin"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>One of your popular speaking topics is \u201c9 Crucial Keys to Improve All Your Relationships.\u201d Can you give us a sneak peek at just a few of those and why they are so important?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Absolutely.\u00a0\u00a0 I have found through research, 23 years experience in the corporate world, and in my private relationship coaching practice that there are 9 characteristics that people with terrific relationships have in common.\u00a0 These 9 Keys are essential for your personal and professional life.\u00a0\u00a0 The thing is, you can\u2019t change what you don\u2019t first acknowledge so it\u2019s important to be aware of how YOU are personally doing with these 9 Crucial Keys.\u00a0 Some will come easy for you, other\u2019s you\u2019ll need to constantly work on.\u00a0 These keys are not rocket science.\u00a0 We know we should be doing them but most of us need a little reminder from time to time to get back on track and start adjusting our own behavior to build the sensational relationships we all want.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s an example.\u00a0 The first connection key is called \u201cWalk the Talk.\u201d\u00a0 This means being a person of integrity.\u00a0 Integrity means being honest, trustworthy, and doing what you say you will do, no matter what.\u00a0 Trust is the number one characteristic that is the hardest to rebuild once it\u2019s lost.<\/p>\n

I speak to a wide variety of corporations, organizations, and singles and couples groups.\u00a0 They tell me that one of the biggest problems is the lack of integrity in people today.\u00a0 Corporations crumble (we all know what happened to Enron), friendships are lost, and marriages are destroyed when trust is lost.\u00a0 It\u2019s a huge problem in our society.\u00a0 Individuals with high integrity are considered priceless in any organization or family.<\/p>\n

Some people think integrity is not important or it\u2019s old-fashioned.\u00a0 People whose main purpose is going after the almighty dollar will rationalize their dishonest behavior in the workplace.\u00a0 People who are self-absorbed will rationalize their unreliable or dishonest behavior saying they are just fulfilling their own needs.<\/p>\n

Choose to be the kind of person people can depend on to be true to your word.\u00a0 Think of people you\u2019ve worked with or members of your family who you feel have high integrity.\u00a0 How do you regard them?\u00a0 We\u2019re excited and relieved to have someone on our team who we know will follow through and do what they say. Now think about the words and feelings that come to mind when you\u2019re asked to work on a project with a person of low integrity.\u00a0 You think they\u2019re flaky and unreliable.\u00a0 It takes more time to baby-sit them to make sure they are doing their part than to just handle it yourself.\u00a0 You can see the obvious difference.\u00a0 Integrity is that powerful.\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Integrity is a priceless characteristic and you will be treated with honor and respect because of it.\u00a0 \u201cWalk the talk\u201d and show integrity in your words, actions and deeds.\u00a0 Establish high integrity and you will have success in life and with your relationships.<\/p>\n

I explain the 9 Crucial Keys in my chapter of the book I co-authored with 14 experts including Stephen Covey and Jack Canfield.\u00a0 It\u2019s called Speaking of Success:\u00a0 World Class Experts Share Their Secrets.\u00a0 Click here to see what the book is about:\u00a0 http:\/\/www.valbaldwin.com\/products.html<\/a><\/p>\n

You\u2019ve discovered that low self-esteem factors heavily into people not living their best life. How do people develop low self-esteem and, conversely, how can they learn to develop a positive sense of self?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Low self-esteem can develop due to a variety of reasons.\u00a0 Perhaps you were raised in a family that always criticized you and put you down.\u00a0 Maybe you are the type who always compares yourselves to others and never feel like you measure up.\u00a0 People with perfectionist tendencies are especially hard on themselves thinking everything must be done to perfection.\u00a0 This also results in low self-esteem because it is an impossible expectation that no human being can live up to.<\/p>\n

The formula I have developed is a 7-step process to gain healthy self-esteem.\u00a0 Here is a brief description of the 7 steps.<\/span><\/p>\n

1.<\/strong> Keep your actions consistent with your values.<\/strong> This means don\u2019t live your life by behaving in ways that are not aligned with what you truly value. \u00a0\u00a0Self-esteem comes from the inside out, not the outside in.\u00a0 You need to start with this step or nothing else will improve your self-esteem.\u00a0 For instance if your top 3 values for your family relationships are open communication, love and respect\u2026..are you acting in alignment with this values?\u00a0 Or are you consistently avoiding touchy topics that need to be brought up and resolved?\u00a0 Are you regularly showing love to your kids and spouse or being distant?\u00a0 Do you often talk disrespectfully about some of your relatives yet respect is one of your top values?\u00a0 You need to live your life in alignment with your values or it will tear you apart inside.<\/p>\n

2. <\/strong> Take responsibility for yourself.<\/strong> You and only you can make new things happen in your life.\u00a0 If you are waiting for others, or change to provide you with good fortune, or with increased confidence, you\u2019ll be waiting a long time.\u00a0 Realize that the path towards self-confidence is one that you will have to travel.\u00a0 No one else can do it for you.<\/p>\n

3. <\/strong> Begin to experiment with life. <\/strong>Try something new \u2013 anything!\u00a0 The idea is to stretch outside your comfort zone.\u00a0 The more you do it, the more confident you\u2019ll become.\u00a0 Go out to a movie alone.\u00a0 Take a class in a completely new or different area that you\u2019ve never tried before.\u00a0 Join a new club.\u00a0 Teach yourself how to repair a toaster.\u00a0 Testing your ability at new things is a wonderful way to learn that you can rely on yourself.\u00a0 To be able to rely on yourself boosts self-confidence.<\/p>\n

4. <\/strong> Develop an action plan and implement it!<\/strong> Select one area in your life for personal development.\u00a0 Is it to improve one of your relationships?\u00a0 Go back to school?\u00a0 Spend more time developing one of your talents?\u00a0 Lose weight?\u00a0 Commit to 3 action steps you will take to get there.\u00a0 Put these steps on a timeline.\u00a0 Now implement each step according to your plan \u2013 no excuses.\u00a0 Every small step you take will be a great boost to your self-esteem!<\/p>\n

5. <\/strong> Stick with it!<\/strong> When you take on a new challenge, stick with it.\u00a0 Self-esteem doesn\u2019t come from each thing you attempt.\u00a0 If it did, one failed effort would bring you back to zero on the confidence scale.\u00a0 True confidence develops from an increasing belief that you can rely on yourself to take action and follow through \u2013 no matter what the result.<\/p>\n

6.<\/strong> Act \u201cAs If\u201d.<\/strong> If you put off taking action until you have confidence, you\u2019ll never do it.\u00a0 In the field of psychology, it is known that by changing our behavior, we can change our feelings.\u00a0 So if you take action, and do so with a semblance of outward confidence, the inward, true feelings of confidence will follow.<\/p>\n

7. <\/strong> Find a Mentor.<\/strong> Do you know someone who has good self-esteem and continues to take one new risk after another?\u00a0 Watch how they do this.\u00a0 Get the courage to ask them how they do what they do, and ask them for feedback about your action plan and implementation.\u00a0 Most confident people are happy to help.\u00a0 They remember the courage and effort it\u2019s taken them to get where they are today.<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

You have the 7-step plan.\u00a0 Now go get started!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>How can one go about learning their personality style? What are some key areas to tap into?<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

There are lots of personality tests a person can take like the Color Code and Meyers Briggs.\u00a0 There are also lots of free on-line tests available for anyone to take.\u00a0 Just Google \u201cpersonality tests\u201d and you\u2019ll have several to choose from.<\/p>\n

The benefit of taking these tests and sharing your results with your family, friends and co-workers are to learn to understand your differences so you can honor and respect your different ways of seeing things.\u00a0 This will also explain why some personalities easily frustrate you while others you instantly click with.\u00a0\u00a0 This new knowledge will quickly open your eyes as to why you experience many of your common conflicts and how to correct them.\u00a0 All personality styles have strengths and value.\u00a0 It\u2019s a matter of realizing these differences so you can both adjust to get along better with others.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s one more valuable tool to improve all your relationships.<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

What are your best tips for taking an \u201cokay\u201d relationship to a level of greatness? <\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

Now that\u2019s a tough question as I have many ways to take relationships to a happier, higher level.\u00a0 I\u2019ll answer this specifically for couples.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The first key is to remember that all relationships take continual time, effort and energy.\u00a0 Just like a garden\u2026..it takes \u201ctending\u201d.\u00a0 If you left a garden alone after 7 years, what would it look like?\u00a0 A disaster.\u00a0 Well it will be the same with a relationship if you don\u2019t continually \u201ctend\u201d your relationship too.\u00a0 \u00a0To go from \u201cokay\u201d to great means coming up with some fun, new couples rituals to give it that \u201cbooster shot\u201d that all couples need from time to time.<\/p>\n

Some ideas could be gaining new communication skills by attending a couple\u2019s workshop or reading a couple\u2019s relationship book together.\u00a0 Schedule monthly dates where one of you surprises the other and makes all the plans.\u00a0 The next month, the other spouse takes over.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t have to be elaborate.\u00a0 It\u2019s all about taking the time and effort in planning and surprising the other partner.\u00a0 You can start a new connection ritual when you first see each other at the end of the day like a long, loving 60 second hug. Or set aside one evening per week to go to bed 30 minutes earlier than usual to cuddle, talk and\/or be intimate.\u00a0 Or perhaps reading a book together in each other\u2019s arms once a week and alternating who does the reading.\u00a0 It\u2019s all about showing each other that you matter and that your relationship takes priority.\u00a0 Doing these simple, doable things can get you out of the \u201cokay\u201d stage and start remembering why you fell in love in the first place.<\/p>\n

What are the 5 love languages that you teach? And can they benefit couples of all types or are there different methods used depending upon where a couple is in their relationship?<\/strong>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

The concepts of The 5 Love Languages come from a wonderful book written by Gary Chapman.\u00a0 All credit goes to this wonderful pastor and author.\u00a0 It\u2019s one of the most powerful communication topics a couple can ever learn.\u00a0 I teach these concepts at couple\u2019s workshops and in my private practice and they always respond saying this is one of the most important lessons they have ever learned.<\/p>\n

Gary Chapman\u2019s philosophy is that people express and receive love in different ways.\u00a0 This can cause upset, frustration and confusion with the people you are closest to.\u00a0 Learn to speak and understand the 5 Love Languages to better express your love as well as feel loved in return.\u00a0 When put into practice, you and your loved ones will feel more respected, understood and cherished.\u00a0 This inspiring, transitional knowledge will change your life for the better.\u00a0 I highly recommend getting this book!<\/p>\n

About: www.ValBaldwin.com<\/a> <\/em><\/strong>Val Baldwin, CPC, is a dynamic speaker, ABC TV personality and certified Relationship Coach. She\u2019s inspired thousands of people across the country with her quick wit and upbeat energy showing people how to build sensational relationships for greater success in life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of your popular speaking topics is \u201c9 Crucial Keys to Improve All Your Relationships.\u201d Can you give us a sneak peek at just a few of those and why they are so important? Absolutely.\u00a0\u00a0 I have found through research, 23 years experience in the corporate world, and in my private relationship coaching practice that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_autoblog_aioseo_focus_keyphrase":"","_autoblog_aioseo_title":"","_autoblog_aioseo_description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4216","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-expert-interviews-and-podcasts"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t