{"id":36712,"date":"2024-02-09T20:33:28","date_gmt":"2024-02-09T13:33:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/?p=36712"},"modified":"2024-02-09T20:33:28","modified_gmt":"2024-02-09T13:33:28","slug":"she-wants-less-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/womens-health\/she-wants-less-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Mismatched Libidos: When She Wants Less Sex Than You Do"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Highlights<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Mismatched libidos are one of the most common sexual issues for couples.\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Desire levels fluctuate throughout our lives.\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Sexual problems, such as painful intercourse, can contribute to reduced sex drive in women.\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>When she wants less sex, find ways to deal with sexual frustration.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Long-term couples can benefit from exploring responsive desire.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr \/>\n<p>Martha and Leon are a married couple in their early 40s. Their life has been good; they had two young children and steady jobs. You could say they were a perfect couple \u2014 but there was one problem. They had sex twice a year.<\/p>\n<p>The couple had always had a desire gap, which only increased after the kids were born. Martha completely lost interest in intimacy, and Leon was struggling.<\/p>\n<p>Mismatched libidos can bring about a serious crisis in a couple, but there&#8217;s a way to move the relationship forward, if you&#8217;re willing to look.<\/p>\n<h3>Reasons for Mismatched Libidos in a Relationship<\/h3>\n<p>The scenario in heterosexual couples usually goes like this: She wants less sex than he does. Less frequently, it&#8217;s the man who&#8217;s the low-desire partner. For Martha, kissing and cuddling had always been more important than intercourse.<\/p>\n<p>Like many women, having children and the responsibilities that came with it gave Martha what she thought was good reason to avoid making love to her husband. But the couple had a big desire gap from the beginning of their relationship.<\/p>\n<p>So, what causes unequal sex drive?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Different sexual temperaments<\/strong>. Some people have lifelong high desire levels. For others, sex is like cherry on a cake \u2014 it\u2019s nice from time to time, but it\u2019s not a must-have. Sometimes both partners have a similar level of libido, but their preferences clash. He may prefer a morning quickie, while she enjoys long lovemaking sessions in the evening.<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Natural ebb and flow. <\/strong>Sexuality is not a constant. Your and your partner\u2019s desire levels will change over time. Whether it\u2019s from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/erectile-dysfunction\/help-im-a-new-father-what-happened-to-my-sex-drive\/\">having small children<\/a>, menopause, chronic illness, or aging \u2014 understanding what impacts your libido will help you manage the sexual side of your relationship.<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Sexual problems.<\/strong> Sexologists often find that low sex drive is a symptom of an underlying issue. For women, that issue is often painful intercourse or lack of orgasm. For men, the most common culprit is erectile dysfunction. If something that should feel natural and joyful becomes a source of discomfort or stress, we tend to avoid it.<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Conservative upbringing.<\/strong> Most religious traditions have sexual restrictions built into them. Many present sexual activity as sinful if it\u2019s not linked to reproduction. If you, your partner, or both, grew up in an atmosphere of fear and shame around pleasure, you may subconsciously restrict your sexual energy for fear of overstepping boundaries.<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Asexuality<\/strong>. Fifty years ago, no one talked about asexuality as a sexual identity. Nowadays, people who show a stable pattern of having little or no interest in sex may be placed on the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.asexuality.org\/?q=overview.html\">asexuality spectrum<\/a>. Since many doctors and therapists are not familiar with it, many people don\u2019t even realize that they\u2019re asexual. They enter long-term relationships or marriages, thinking they simply have a low sex drive.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2.jpeg-2.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-36715\" src=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2.jpeg-2.jpg\" alt=\"sexually dissatisfied man \" width=\"780\" height=\"520\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2.jpeg-2.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2.jpeg-2-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/2.jpeg-2-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 780px) 100vw, 780px\" \/><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Libido goes through natural ebbs and flows.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<h3>Dealing With Different Sex Drives<\/h3>\n<p>There are two types of couples with mismatched libidos: those who avoid the problem and those who face the challenge head on. Guess which ones are successful in rebuilding their intimacy?<\/p>\n<p>If you fall into the second group, or you\u2019re ready to deal with the issue in your own relationship, consider our best sex tips for couples with different needs.<\/p>\n<h4>Tips for the High Libido Partner<\/h4>\n<p>If you\u2019re the one who needs more sex, it can be frustrating to always have to ask. You may feel guilty for being \u201cdemanding.\u201d Remember that your needs are valid and you have the right to express them, as long as you accept your partner&#8217;s right to say no.<\/p>\n<p>Here are some important points to keep in mind as the high-libido partner:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Emotional intimacy vs. physical intimacy. <\/strong>Think about your sexual style. Do you need special circumstances to make love, or are you ready to go whenever the mood strikes? Some people are wired in such a way that they can jump between the sheets even after a big fight. Your partner may be different. She may need to feel love, care, and security before she\u2019s ready to take off her clothes.<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Managing sexual frustration.<\/strong> It\u2019s normal to get annoyed when she has the proverbial headache for the tenth time in a month. Your sexual needs will build up, and frustration will find an outlet elsewhere. Be mindful of what you say and do. If all of a sudden you find you\u2019re annoyed at your partner for no apparent reason, have an honest conversation about what\u2019s going on.<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Honoring your needs.<\/strong> Monogamous couples fall into a trap of thinking that their partner should fulfill all their sexual needs. But even if you\u2019re in an exclusive relationship, you still have a sexual connection with another important person \u2014 yourself! While masturbation will not replace fun times as a couple, it will help you manage your desire levels without hurting your partner.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4>Tips for the Low-Libido Partner<\/h4>\n<p>If you\u2019re the partner with the lower sex drive, you, too, may feel misunderstood. You love your partner and want to make her happy, but you don\u2019t want to overstep your boundaries. We live in a society filled with sexualized messages \u2014 it\u2019s easy to think that there\u2019s something wrong with you if you\u2019re not so into it.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s what you need to consider to make things easier for yourself (and your partner):<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Non-sexual alternatives for intimacy.<\/strong> Couples with mismatched libidos need to ditch the \u201call or nothing\u201d attitude. If you say you don\u2019t want sex, what do you mean precisely? This can, of course, differ from day to day. Become the expert in your own sexuality. Perhaps you\u2019re too tired for intercourse but wouldn\u2019t mind watching your partner stimulate herself. Or maybe you don\u2019t feel like going all the way, but you\u2019d be happy to give her a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/erectile-dysfunction\/tantric-practices-for-men-with-erectile-dysfunction\/\">sensual massage<\/a>? There are endless options if you\u2019re open to exploring them.<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Responsive desire. <\/strong>Romantic films have taught us that spontaneous outbursts of desire are the norm. This might be the case for new couples but not for long-term partners. If you\u2019ve been together for longer than you can remember, you or your partner may need external stimulation to put you in the mood. This could be anything from watching porn together to listening to sexy music. Instead of waiting for hot sex to \u201cjust happen,\u201d create opportunities to reconnect with your partner in the bedroom. Sometimes all you need is to give desire a chance.<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Optimizing your sexual potential.<\/strong> If you used to have higher libido, it\u2019s time to take a good look at what caused it to drop. Are you still angry at your partner for having an affair five years ago? Or perhaps she\u2019s entered perimenopause and intercourse is painful? Depending on the reason, with professional help, you can reclaim some of that erotic potential that still lives deep within.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/3.jpeg-2.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-36716\" src=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/3.jpeg-2.jpg\" alt=\"elderly couple in bed\" width=\"780\" height=\"520\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/3.jpeg-2.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/3.jpeg-2-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/3.jpeg-2-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 780px) 100vw, 780px\" \/><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Non-sexual intimacy is as important as intercourse.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<h3>Maintaining a Relationship With Different Sex Drives<\/h3>\n<p>Martha and Leon\u2019s road back to a more balanced sex life was long, but it paid off. The couple found the courage to talk about difficult aspects of their mismatched libidos. Leon had to learn to pay attention to his wife\u2019s emotional needs. Martha had to stop treating sex as a means of power in the relationship. With more honesty, they could enjoy more frequent lovemaking again.<\/p>\n<p>When she wants less sex, it\u2019s never her problem alone. There\u2019s no point in placing blame \u2014 instead, invest time to understand both partner\u2019s sexual needs.<\/p>\n<h3>Let eDrugstore Take Care of Your Sexual Health<\/h3>\n<p>If erectile dysfunction is contributing to mismatched libidos in your relationship, eDrugstore.com has you covered. Our team of U.S.-licensed physicians are here to guide you. Ordering <a href=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/erectile-dysfunction\/?__mscta=2392_99396_11487\">erectile dysfunction medication<\/a> in our online store is smooth and easy. When you shop with eDrugstore, virtual health visits and shipping are always free.<\/p>\n<p><em>Disclaimer: This article provides general information about health and related topics but is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>She wants less sex than you do? Don\u2019t despair! Learn how to manage mismatched libidos and enjoy more intimacy in your relationship. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":36713,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_autoblog_aioseo_focus_keyphrase":"","_autoblog_aioseo_title":"","_autoblog_aioseo_description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[5,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36712","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mens-health","category-womens-health"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO Pro 4.9.10 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"She wants less sex than you do? Don\u2019t despair! 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