{"id":33479,"date":"2022-10-03T10:37:47","date_gmt":"2022-10-03T03:37:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/?p=33479"},"modified":"2026-03-31T04:43:30","modified_gmt":"2026-03-30T21:43:30","slug":"best-sexology-books-mating-in-captivity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/sex-health\/best-sexology-books-mating-in-captivity\/","title":{"rendered":"Best Sexology Books: \u201cMating in Captivity\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b>Highlights<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cMating in captivity\u201d is one of the best sexology books about desire in committed relationships.\u00a0<\/b><\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>The author is a renowned couples therapist with decades of experience.\u00a0<\/b><\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Busy couples, especially parents of small children, should make time for intimacy.\u00a0<\/b><\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Don\u2019t wait for your sexual problems to magically resolve. Get medical and psychological help as needed.\u00a0<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr \/>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Can you still have passionate sex ten years into your marriage? Is cheating inevitable when you&#8217;ve been together for a long time? How do you find time for intimacy after you become parents? Esther Perel&#8217;s &#8220;Mating in Captivity&#8221; is one the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/current-health-news\/best-sexology-books\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">best sexology books<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to answer those questions.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>Why We Love It<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.estherperel.com\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Esther Perel<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is one of the most renowned therapists in the world. Over several decades, she has worked with thousands of men, women, and couples from different cultures.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Her writing is intellectual yet simple. Perel takes on the challenge of answering the question, \u201cIs it possible to want what we already have?\u201d This book shines not as another collection of tips for bored lovers but as a thoughtful reflection on the state of modern love and intimacy.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>Is This Book for You?<\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whether you&#8217;re a newlywed or getting ready to celebrate another decade together with your partner, you&#8217;ll find food for thought in this book.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For those starting a new chapter in life \u2014 moving in together, getting married, having a baby \u2014 the stories of Perel&#8217;s clients will serve as cautionary tales. You\u2019ll be reminded that desire is not a given. We need to nurture it every day.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&#8217;ve been with your partner for longer than you can remember, reading \u201cMating in Captivity\u201d will give you hope that all is not lost on the sexual front.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_33480\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-33480\" style=\"width: 600px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/2.jpeg-72_11zon.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-33480\" title=\"Overwhelmed parents\" src=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/2.jpeg-72_11zon.jpg\" alt=\"Overwhelmed parents\" width=\"600\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/2.jpeg-72_11zon.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/2.jpeg-72_11zon-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-33480\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><em>Big changes in life, such as parenting, can impact the relationship<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h3>What You&#8217;ll Learn?<\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cMating in Captivity\u201d will help you understand the complexity of desire and sex in committed relationships. From conservative upbringing to more liberal American values \u2014 Perel proposes bold theories about the sexless marriage that make sense.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are some of the key learnings for intimacy-starved couples:<\/span><\/p>\n<h4>Cozy Is Not the Same as Sexy<\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A house in the suburbs, a family car, a steady job and marriage \u2014 this is what most of us have been taught to pursue in life. But hyperfocus on stability and prosperity can be a death sentence to sexual fulfillment, says Perel.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To bring desire back, the author claims, we need to allow ourselves the time to feel lust. We must embrace the fact that eroticism can be wild and full of passion. And that it\u2019s OK to share our fantasies, talk dirty, and get loud in the bedroom.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4>Sex Is About Power Exchange<\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is gender equality behind the sex problems of modern couples? Perel asks such controversial questions, pushing us to consider how society impacts the most intimate aspects of our lives.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The author is in no way anti-feminist. But in her work with clients, she has noticed that couples who strive for complete equality in the bedroom are often the ones with problems. Sex is not egalitarian, she explains. What makes it exciting is the power exchange between lovers. Someone takes and someone gives.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One way to play with that is to experiment with dominance and submission. You don\u2019t need to go all the way and build your sex room with chains and whips! Use your imagination and get away from the curse of always being nice in bed. Next time, try <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/erectile-dysfunction\/sex-talk-can-improve-sex-for-the-depressed\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">being naughty<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> instead.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_33481\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-33481\" style=\"width: 600px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/3.jpeg-69_11zon.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-33481\" title=\"Woman wearing sexy lingerie\" src=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/3.jpeg-69_11zon.jpg\" alt=\"Woman wearing sexy lingerie\" width=\"600\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/3.jpeg-69_11zon.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/3.jpeg-69_11zon-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-33481\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><em>Sex can be naughty from time to time!<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h4>Don\u2019t Sacrifice Dates for Playdates<\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stephanie, one of the clients Perel describes in her book, is a dedicated mom. She organizes activities for the kids, bakes cookies, and invents art projects. In the meantime, her husband, Warren, is feeling abandoned. He misses the sexual connection, and he misses his wife.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When two become three (or more), many couples experience a drastic decrease in their sexual frequency. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC7042171\/pdf\/main.pdf\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Quality suffers<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, too, and intercourse is often more like a chore than a pleasure.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the things busy parents should try out is planning. But be careful here! You can\u2019t put \u201csex at 10 p.m.\u201d on her agenda and expect her to cooperate. Create a habit of regular dates and time without kids.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Make an effort to show her that you still remember her as a woman, not just as the mother of your children. Let her know that you care about reconnecting as much as you desire the sexual contact.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h4>It Takes Effort To Cultivate Desire<\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember the early days of dating your partner? Thinking about what to say, what to wear, planning how to impress her. . . . When we\u2019re starting out with someone new, making an effort feels obvious. We want to be and do our very best.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To keep desire alive after many years with the same person, you need to remind yourself to try harder. It\u2019s so tempting to let it go and say to yourself, \u201cShe\/he loves me the way I am.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Love is unconditional, but intimacy has its demands. Sexuality and romantic connection need to be nurtured to thrive. So, go ahead, buy her those flowers for no particular reason, go back to using her favorite cologne, and offer a sensual massage without expecting anything in return.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_33482\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-33482\" style=\"width: 600px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/4.jpeg-28_11zon.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-33482\" title=\"Happy woman with flowers\" src=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/4.jpeg-28_11zon.jpg\" alt=\"Happy woman with flowers\" width=\"600\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/4.jpeg-28_11zon.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/4.jpeg-28_11zon-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-33482\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><em>Flowers without a special occasion? Yes, please!<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h3>Facing Sexual Difficulties Together<\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Perel has been counseling couples for over 20 years and has seen all kinds of sexual problems. To her, things like erectile dysfunction or lack of orgasm are to be expected. They are challenging for a couple, but they certainly aren\u2019t a death sentence to a happy sex life. With ED medications, such as <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/erectile-dysfunction\/buy-viagra\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Viagra<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/cialis\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Cialis<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, or <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/erectile-dysfunction\/vardenafil\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Levitra<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, you can get your erections back.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The author warns us not to focus too much on such things as a rock-hard erection. Instead, she suggests, we should awaken our curiosity and look at our life companion as if we\u2019ve just met them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>eDrugstore Makes ED Treatment Easy<\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Cultivating intimacy is important, but so is solving sexual challenges. eDrugstore makes asking for help and finding solutions easy. A licensed physician will help you select the best treatment and write your prescription. Shipping and virtual health visits and shipping are always free. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/erectile-dysfunction\/?__mscta=2392_93693_11487\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Find out more here<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Highlights \u201cMating in captivity\u201d is one of the best sexology books about desire in committed relationships.\u00a0 The author is a renowned couples therapist with decades of experience.\u00a0 Busy couples, especially parents of small children, should make time for intimacy.\u00a0 Don\u2019t wait for your sexual problems to magically resolve. Get medical and psychological help as needed.\u00a0 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":33483,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_autoblog_aioseo_focus_keyphrase":"","_autoblog_aioseo_title":"","_autoblog_aioseo_description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1926],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33479","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sex-health"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO Pro 4.9.10 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Can you bring desire back to a sexless marriage? \u201cMating in Captivity\u201d is one of the best sexology books on the subject of intimacy in long-term relationships.\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"max-image-preview:large\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Anka Grzywacz\"\/>\n\t<link rel=\"canonical\" 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