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Interview with Sex Therapist and Clinical Sexologist Lindsay Novak. This interview is one in a series of expert interviews on the eDrugstore.com blog. We add new interviews on a regular basis. Please see our complete list of insightful interviews<\/a>.<\/p>\n 1. What is the most common female sexual health issue you deal with in your practice?<\/strong><\/p>\n Our current practice sees around 250 female patient visits per month, the majority present with a decreased or lack of sexual desire, however many of the women also have comorbid symptoms including pain with intercourse, lack of lubrication, and changes in or absence in orgasm. <\/p>\n These symptoms emerge due to a number of causes such as psychological, physical, hormonal, relational, reproductive factors, onset of a disease or illness, etc. As a Sex Therapist, I hear many women report sexual problems related to an unresolved rape or sexual abuse; religious, cultural or educational messages which were confusing or shame-based; onset of parenthood or other stressful situations; low self-esteem and\/or poor body image; and partner factors such as ineffective arousal approach, poor communication about sexual interests, and overall relationship dissatisfaction causing resentment and disconnection.<\/p>\n 2. What percentage of women rarely or never have an orgasm? Why is this? And what can be done about it?<\/strong><\/p>\n Female orgasm problems can include either an absence of or changes in intensity. Prevalence of these problems are reported in about 24% of women during fertile years and 39% of post-menopausal women. Since an orgasm is a sensorimotor reflex which can be triggered by numerous physical and mental stimuli, there could be multiple reasons why a woman could be experiencing a problem. A complete history must be taken, and a physical examination to explore the integrity of the pelvic nerves (specifically the pudendal nerve), pelvic floor muscles, and blood supply. Also, appropriate laboratory tests are of value in identifying the problem. It\u2019s also important to look at medications that could be altering orgasm response such as antidepressants, benzodiazepines, neuroleptics, etc. In addition to medical factors, it\u2019s important to explore subjective, emotional, psychological and relational causes that could be posing problems becoming aroused or experiencing orgasm. Individual or couples sex therapy can help a person become mindfully aware of body sensations, fears of vulnerability, and anxiety, while also helping the partner understand better techniques for touching and intimacy.<\/p>\n 3. How can couples who have been together for a long time reach past \u201cgoing through the motions\u201d and catapult into great sexual experiences?<\/strong><\/p>\n Every couple can be susceptible to intimate valleys, however all couples are capable of resurrecting their sex life if both people are willing. A great sexual foundation starts with connection, therefore continue dating, communicating and attending to your partners needs. Next, rediscover each others sexual style by talking about your favorite intimate memories over the years while also divulging fantasies you never thought were possible with each other. While being mindful of realistic expectations, begin to brainstorm new ways of being affectionate, sensual, playful and erotic together.<\/p>\n 4. How can couples learn to tune in to each other sexually, without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious?<\/strong><\/p>\n 5. What would you tell couples to expect sexually once a new baby arrives into their life?<\/strong> Will there be changes\u00a0 psychologically and physiologically?<\/strong><\/p>\n Let\u2019s back up and talk about sex during pregnancy first! It is okay to be intimate during pregnancy which may help the couple stay connected after the baby is born. Be educated on false myths during pregnancy such as sex causing a miscarriage or orgasm leading to premature labor. Be creative by learning new, comfortable positioning, using water-based lubricants, and finding time for cuddling, snuggling and body massages. A great educational video is \u201cThe Better Sex Guide to Sex & Pregnancy\u201d By Sinclair Institute. This is also a great time to address relationship concerns so they are resolved as parenthood begins.<\/p>\n Lastly, prepare for the baby by addressing realistic changes in responsibilities, chores, sleep deprivation, etc. After the baby arrives, your Obstetrician or midwife will help you determine when resuming sexual intercourse is possible (usually after 6 weeks). Be open and honest with your partner about your needs at this time. Just because intercourse may not be possible, and fatigue is outweighing your libido, continue to prioritize snuggling, massaging and kissing to stay connected and make your partner feel important to you. Finally, resume date nights and time away from the baby by planning for child care. Use these precious moments to reconnect as a couple. A sex therapist can also help if you find sex and intimacy difficult to resume.<\/p>\n 6. With all the demands couples have to deal with (work, raising children, aging parents, etc), how can they learn to focus on building rich sexual lives?<\/strong> What key factors do they need to implement to make this happen?<\/strong><\/p>\n A great sexual relationship starts outside the bedroom. If you continue to nurture a close friendship while attending to your partners needs as they continue to meet your needs, then the relationship will always have a healthy reserve of positive energy. Productive communication, ongoing problem-solving and resiliency will problem-proof your relationship.<\/p>\n As your relationship grows and matures, it\u2019s realistic to assume your sex life will have life stages. Allow your desire to evolve, crave new fantasies, alter positions, try new arousal devices or lubricants, etc. If you and your partner allow each other to sexually grow and make changes, then you\u2019ll evolve with your bodies and desires.<\/p>\n About Lindsay Novak:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0http:\/\/mhsdoctors.com<\/p>\n Lindsay is a Certified Sex Therapist and Board Certified Clinical Sexologist.\u00a0 She currently works for the Sexual Medicine & Wellness Clinic division of Methodist Health System.\u00a0 She attended University of Nebraska and also obtained a number of Certifications.\u00a0 She enjoys learning about gender differences and women’s health as well as the scientific study of sexuality, both individually and in relationships.\u00a0 In her free time she actively exercises and is an avid reader.<\/p>\n Read more of our expert interviews:<\/strong> Interview with Sex Therapist and Clinical Sexologist Lindsay Novak. This interview is one in a series of expert interviews on the eDrugstore.com blog. We add new interviews on a regular basis. Please see our complete list of insightful interviews. 1. What is the most common female sexual health issue you deal with in your practice? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_autoblog_aioseo_focus_keyphrase":"","_autoblog_aioseo_title":"","_autoblog_aioseo_description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-expert-interviews-and-podcasts"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/05\/rose.png\" "\\"rose\\"")
<\/a>What a great opportunity to visit with a Certified Sex Therapist who can act as a guide; this helps take the focus off initiating a conversation or not knowing what to say next. Sex therapy can also help normalize what other couples may be doing, address myths and reasons for embarrassment, and also educate you about arousal devices, lubricants and videos. These are great ways to try something brand new as a couple, rather than one person feeling awkward and unknowing.<\/p>\n
\nBetty Dodson, Renowned Sexologist, Author, Feminist, Educator<\/a>
\n<\/a>Dean Osborne, Human Nature of Cheating<\/a>
\n<\/a>Dr. MP Wylie, Relationship Advisor<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"