{"id":12296,"date":"2016-05-18T11:14:00","date_gmt":"2010-05-18T11:14:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.accessrx.com\/blog\/?p=97"},"modified":"2010-05-18T11:14:00","modified_gmt":"2010-05-18T11:14:00","slug":"sports-and-finding-true-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/expert-interviews-and-podcasts\/sports-and-finding-true-love\/","title":{"rendered":"What Sports Success and Finding Real Love Have in Common"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"New
New Zealand PGA Championship<\/figcaption><\/figure>By Roy Biancalana, Certified Life Coach<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you were to talk to any sports psychologist and ask them to name the single greatest mental skill a player of any sport needs to master in order to perform at his or her best, my guess is that nearly all of them would say it\u2019s the ability to approach the next shot, the next pitch, at-bat, play or point with a clean emotional slate.<\/p>\n

This is often called, \u201cstaying in the present.\u201d I call it being complete and it means to play without baggage. Athletic success is ultimately about the ability to approach the future without living in the past.<\/p>\n

As important as being complete is in athletics, it is exponentially more important when it comes to relationships and attracting genuine love. If you are incomplete with former lovers then you are self-sabotaging your ability to create a healthy relationship in the future. You can\u2019t move forward if you\u2019re chained to the past. I want to focus on two types of \u201cchains:\u201d The Chain of Attachment and the Chain of Aversion.<\/p>\n

The Chain of Attachment<\/strong>
\nQuite a few years ago, I was madly in love and engaged to be married. But six months before our wedding date, my fianc\u00e9e broke off our engagement and ended our relationship. I was devastated.<\/p>\n

We went our separate ways, not speaking to one another, and I began to date. I met some wonderful women but the truth was that none of them had a chance with me \u2013 not one of them had real access to my heart because I was still hung up on my ex-fianc\u00e9e.<\/p>\n

The chain of attachment simply means that you\u2019re still in love with, obsessed with, or not over a previous relationship. It means you still have feelings for them, that you miss them, or that you still think of them all the time. With your heart filled with their presence, there\u2019s no room for anyone else\u2019s. You\u2019re not complete because you\u2019re still attached to them \u2013 even if you don\u2019t see them or talk to them.<\/p>\n

The Chain of Aversion<\/strong>
\nIt is quite common to meet someone new and hear them go on and on about their ex-husband, wife or lover. They may not be in love with them, but they sure are in hate with them! Either way, they\u2019re still involved with them. Their heart is filled with bitterness and anger, leaving no room for a new relationship.<\/p>\n

The chain of aversion means you, or the person you\u2019re interested in still has a negative energetic charge toward a former relationship. In other words, there is still drama going on, even if the relationship is long over. Holding a grudge, being angry and bitter, blaming, criticizing, speaking harshly or gossiping about a former lover means they (or you!) are still carrying an emotional charge. The relationship is incomplete.<\/p>\n

How to Rid Yourself of Attachment or Aversion<\/strong>
\nIf you have attachment or aversion issues with a former lover, you will not attract a quality partner into your life. A healthy person will smell your incompletion a mile away and run \u2013 as they should. So, what do you do? How do you let go of attachment and end your feelings of aversion?<\/p>\n

In my experience, there\u2019s only one way. Get help. Hire a coach, counselor or therapist. Time does NOT heal attachment, nor does it free you of aversion. You need to discover the unconscious reason and purpose of the relationship and the role you played in its demise. And in my opinion, to get that kind of clarity takes professional assistance.<\/p>\n

If you dream and long for an amazing, healthy relationship with the man or woman of your dreams, the first step is dealing with your past and be complete with your former lovers. For as the poet Rumi said many centuries ago: \u201cYour task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.\u201d<\/p>\n

About the Author<\/strong>
\nRoy Biancalana is an author, life coach and former PGA Tour player. He is a regular contributor to the eDrugstore.com blog and you can find all of his entries on his blog the main page. Roy used his PGA Tour background to write a previous two-part entry about Getting In the Zone with your life.<\/p>\n

You can reach Roy for advice by contacting him through email, his website or by phone…<\/p>\n

roy@coachingwithroy.com
\nwww.coachingwithroy.com<\/a>
\n407-687-3387<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Roy Biancalana, Certified Life Coach If you were to talk to any sports psychologist and ask them to name the single greatest mental skill a player of any sport needs to master in order to perform at his or her best, my guess is that nearly all of them would say it\u2019s the ability […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_autoblog_aioseo_focus_keyphrase":"","_autoblog_aioseo_title":"","_autoblog_aioseo_description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12296","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-expert-interviews-and-podcasts"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t