{"id":12274,"date":"2016-12-23T10:19:00","date_gmt":"2009-12-23T10:19:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.accessrx.com\/blog\/?p=70"},"modified":"2009-12-23T10:19:00","modified_gmt":"2009-12-23T10:19:00","slug":"mulligans-and-new-years-resolutions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.edrugstore.com\/blog\/expert-interviews-and-podcasts\/mulligans-and-new-years-resolutions\/","title":{"rendered":"Will You Need a Mulligan For Your New Year\u2019s Resolution?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"A
A realized resolution has three components: Awareness, Alignment and Assistance.<\/figcaption><\/figure>By Roy Biancalana, Certified Life Coach<\/p>\n

Golfers have strange vocabularies. Consider the following slang terms and phrases: \u201cchili-dip,\u201d \u201clay the sod over it,\u201d \u201cbanana,\u201d \u201cskull,\u201d \u201cfried egg,\u201d and \u201csnowman,\u201d to name only a few. Unless you\u2019re an avid golfer, you may not know what any of those terms mean.<\/p>\n

But then there\u2019s the term \u201cmulligan.\u201d Even non-golfers know that it means a \u201cdo-over.\u201d A mulligan is a chance to replay a shot you didn\u2019t like. And at this time of year, many are doing just that, only it\u2019s called a New Year\u2019s Resolution. And if you are making a few of those yourself, I\u2019d like to share a few things I\u2019ve learned about how to make them stick. A realized resolution has three components: Awareness, Alignment, and Assistance.<\/p>\n

Awareness<\/strong>
\nAt first glance, awareness seems almost too obvious to warrant mentioning. For if anything is going to change, whether it\u2019s our fitness, finances, career, relationships, habits, addictions, and so on, we must first become aware that something is not the way we want it. That seems obvious. So why make a big deal out of awareness? Well, have you ever given any serious thought as to why most New Year\u2019s Resolutions don\u2019t come to fruition?<\/p>\n

In my experience, it\u2019s because we lack long-term motivation. And when I\u2019ve thought about why I\u2019ve lost motivation to realize a resolution, I\u2019ve discovered that the desired change didn\u2019t originate from my deepest Self, but from someone else. That \u201csomeone else\u201d can be our partner, doctor, trainer, therapist, friend or even the culture in general. The sneakiest \u201csomeone else,\u201d however, is our ego. Often we want to change some aspect of our lives for attention, approval or to impress or control others.<\/p>\n

While \u201csomeone else\u2019s\u201d resolutions for us might have value, I have found that if the motivation doesn\u2019t originate from, or deeply resonate with, my deepest Self, no permanent transformation will take place. Your resolutions have to be YOUR resolutions. How can you tell the difference? Well, \u201csomeone else\u201d always uses the word \u201cshould.\u201d If you hear the word \u201cshould\u201d in your consciousness or in your actual speech, you can be sure that your resolution is being motivated by other people, the culture or your ego, and therefore, it will eventually fail.<\/p>\n

So when I say \u201cawareness,\u201d I don\u2019t mean being aware of what you want to change, that\u2019s easy enough. The key is being aware of why you want to change. Don\u2019t bother making a resolution that doesn\u2019t come from your deepest Self. It won\u2019t last.<\/p>\n

Alignment<\/strong>
\nThe next step is to align everything in your life around realizing your resolution. Your checkbook, schedule, refrigerator, garbage can, closets, bed, and conscience must reflect your commitment. And conversely, you must not allow anything into your emotional or physical space that tempts you or distracts you from what you want. Everything and anybody that competes for, or is in conflict with, your commitment must go. Zero tolerance. Zero compromises. Zero exits. You must vigilantly be on the lookout for any people, places, things, choices, beliefs, and attitudes that can derail your resolution.<\/p>\n

Assistance<\/strong>
\nThe last component is assistance (or coaching). And let me be clear that I do not mean accountability. Accountability is necessary when you are trying to keep \u201csomeone else\u2019s\u201d resolutions. My 15-year-old needs to be held accountable for his homework because he doesn\u2019t want to do it. But an adult doesn\u2019t need to be held accountable for things he or she truly wants to do. Accountability is a sign of immaturity. It is for those living \u201csomeone else\u2019s\u201d life.<\/p>\n

Assistance, on the other hand, is necessary \u2013 even essential. While people need assistance to ensure their resolutions are truly theirs and that they align everything in their life with them, what they really need assistance with is the insidious Upper Limit Problem.<\/p>\n

Space prohibits a full discussion of the Upper Limit Problem (maybe a topic for a future eDrugstore blog post), but suffice it to say that we have a curious habit of unconsciously sabotaging our own success. Most people need assistance seeing their self-sabotaging patterns and a coach or therapist is perfectly suited to assist in this area.<\/p>\n

If you, or someone you know, is making a resolution for the New Year, seriously consider the three components mentioned above and then contact me if I can be of assistance. For it would be a shame to ask for another mulligan this time next year.<\/p>\n

About the Author<\/strong>
\nRoy Biancalana is an author, life coach and former PGA Tour player. He is a regular contributor to the eDrugstore.com blog and you can find all of his entries on his blog the main page. Roy used his PGA Tour background to write a previous two-part entry about Getting In the Zone with your life.<\/p>\n

You can reach Roy for advice by contacting him through email, his website or by phone…<\/p>\n

roy@coachingwithroy.com<\/a>
\nwww.coachingwithroy.com<\/a>
\n407-687-3387<\/p>\n

Additional Resources<\/strong>
\nwww.getmotivation.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Roy Biancalana, Certified Life Coach Golfers have strange vocabularies. Consider the following slang terms and phrases: \u201cchili-dip,\u201d \u201clay the sod over it,\u201d \u201cbanana,\u201d \u201cskull,\u201d \u201cfried egg,\u201d and \u201csnowman,\u201d to name only a few. Unless you\u2019re an avid golfer, you may not know what any of those terms mean. But then there\u2019s the term \u201cmulligan.\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_autoblog_aioseo_focus_keyphrase":"","_autoblog_aioseo_title":"","_autoblog_aioseo_description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12274","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-expert-interviews-and-podcasts"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t