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How to Improve Your Sexual Performance

Your opinion and that of your partner are the ones that matter.

Your opinion and that of your partner are the ones that matter.

If you want to improve your sex life, the most important two things to keep in mind are what “good sex” means to you and what it means to your partner.

The rest is largely a matter of practicalities. But you won’t succeed in being great in bed if you are not willing and able to communicate honestly with your partner, no matter how great your body is. Improving sexual performance involves setting the stage for a great experience, and there are numerous things you can do as part of everyday life as well as in the moment to help you create an environment that encourages great sex. Here are a few ideas.

Indulge Your Sense of Smell

It’s not necessarily about finding the right cologne, though many partners like that. In fact, “comforting” scents like pumpkin pie, cucumber, buttered popcorn, and even licorice have been found to increase blood flow to the nether regions in both sexes. Neurologist Alan Hirsch of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation, and who conducted a number of studies on scents and sex, believes that the primary effects are psychological, with comforting smells reducing anxiety. “By reducing anxiety, it acted to remove inhibitions.,” he says.

Ditch the Sedentary Lifestyle

Fitness and sexual satisfaction are positively correlated in men and women. It makes sense: good circulation and good stamina allow people to enjoy a romp between the sheets more than if they become exhausted easily. You don’t have to train for an ultra-marathon to see benefits, either. Simply adding a daily walk can make a difference, as can doing pelvic floor exercises. Problems with erections often have to do with circulation, which is why top erectile dysfunction medications increase blood flow to the penis. In general, what’s good for your heart and circulatory system is also good for sexual performance.

Feed Your Brain

Reading erotic literature can work great for inciting arousal. And don’t worry if you’re not into popular works like Fifty Shades of Grey. Thrillers and crime novels are often sexy, and there are plenty of works of serious literature and poetry that can get your senses engaged. Here are a few examples:

  • Delta of Venus, by Anais Nin – a collection of 15 erotic stories that are also poetic
  • The Flowers of Evil, by Charles Baudelaire – poetry that shocked the 19th century with its frank sexual imagery
  • Tropic of Cancer, by Henry Miller – originally banned in the US, and detailing the protagonists exploits in 1920s Paris
  • Vox, by Nicholson Baker – a series of erotic conversations written years before “sexting” was even an idea
  • Outlander, by Diana Gabaldon – if time-jumping decadence is your thing

Get Rid of Unrealistic Expectations

Don’t let your definition of “good sex” be dictated by pornography, and don’t believe everything your male friends say. Men do tend to exaggerate their experiences, and when other men forget to divide by the appropriate exaggeration factor, they can start believing that everyone else has a spectacular sex life that they’ll never experience. With porn, you can get into the trap of comparing your body with that of porn stars and wondering what’s “wrong” with you when in fact nothing is. Most men aren’t built like that, and most women aren’t always ready for sex at a moment’s notice.

Communicate Honestly With Your Partner

For you and your partner to experience great sex, each has to understand just what that means to the other. You can’t expect each other to be mind-readers, and at some point you have to talk about it and show each other what you want. If there’s a bigger issue, such as one partner having a significantly higher sex drive than the other, it’s best to discuss the issue in a more neutral setting rather than bringing it up in intimate moments. Also, it’s OK to be vulnerable and confide in your partner about changes in your body. Not talking can lead your partner to thinking he or she is inadequate or “not good enough,” and you shouldn’t let that happen.

Honesty and communication bring people closer and can make sex more intimate.

Honesty and communication bring people closer and can make sex more intimate.

Keep Vices Under Control

Smoking is bad for circulation, heart health, and stamina, and hence can really put the kibosh on sexual enjoyment. If the prospect of better sex is the motivation to get you to quit, then go for it! Doctors don’t care why you quit smoking. As for alcohol, you have to know where the line is for you between helping you relax and dulling your central nervous system to the point you have trouble getting an erection. Use of illicit drugs can also affect sexual performance and desire, as well as masking psychological issues that you need to address. Professional help is as close as your doctor’s office.

Eat Well

High blood cholesterol, diabetes, and obesity negatively affect sexual performance, chiefly because they are major risk factors for cardiovascular disease. And there are the psychological effects and low self-esteem that many people feel when they carry around excess weight. The balanced diet that medical professionals recommend, including plenty of whole grain, fruits and vegetables, lean protein, and fiber, benefits your overall health, and your overall health sets the stage for better sexual enjoyment and better self-image. Don’t worry: healthy eating isn’t about obsessively counting calories or making certain foods off-limits forever. If you want some tips on getting started, try this helpful guide.

Don’t Be Afraid to Deal With Erection Problems

Erectile dysfunction affects tens of millions of men, most of whom can be helped with prescription medications like Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. These medications have long track records and have been used safely by men around the world since the late 1990s. Often, erectile dysfunction is all about blood flow, and that’s what these medications address. If you’re experiencing erectile dysfunction, what are you waiting for? There’s simply no reason to keep suffering in silence.

At eDrugstore.com, we work with US-licensed pharmacists to dispense Viagra and other lifestyle medications, and have been doing so for over 15 years. We’re committed to competitive pricing, fast shipping, great customer service, and the utmost dedication to customer privacy and online ordering security.

Don Amerman has spent more than three decades in the business of writing and editing. During the last 15 years, his focus has been on freelance writing. For almost all of his writing, He has done all of his own research, both online and off, including telephone and face-to-face interviews where possible. Don Amerman on Google+