What to Do When Your Man Loses His Erection

Sometimes men lose their erections and it’s no reflection on the state of their relationship or their affection for their partner. Handling it with tact can help prevent resentments and open up a conversation if the problem is believed to be due to erectile dysfunction (ED). Fortunately, there are effective prescription drugs available to treat ED.


Many people have the mistaken impression that erections are like flipping a switch.

But in fact, they depend on a complex interplay of physical and often psychological conditions. Even the healthiest, most sexually secure man will occasionally lose his erection at a bad time. Sometimes it’s easy to figure out why. For example, overconsumption of alcohol can cause men to have trouble getting or maintaining an erection. Other times there may be no clear explanation, and that’s OK. Knowing what to do and what not to do when your partner loses his erection is important to keeping your sex life healthy and enjoyable for both of you. Here are some suggestions.

Understand Common Reasons Why Men Lose Their Erections

It’s important to understand that there are many reasons why a man might lose his erection, and they may have absolutely nothing to do with his attraction toward you. Nervousness, especially at the beginning of a relationship, can cause a man to lose his erection. So can stress and chronic depression (as well as some antidepressant drugs). Medications for high blood pressure can make maintaining an erection difficult, and a number of common health issues can make it more difficult for a man to maintain an erection. Common health-related causes include heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and low testosterone levels.

Don’t Blame Yourself

According to WebMD, it’s rare for a man to lose an erection due to not being turned on by his partner. It’s far more likely to be attributable to other factors like the ones listed above. Therefore it’s important that you not blame yourself. It won’t help the situation, and will only make the energy between you more negative. It may be only normal to feel disappointed or somehow inadequate in this situation, but your attractiveness is rarely a factor when an erection goes away. Dwelling on that possibility doesn’t help.

Don’t Be Mean About It

Men can feel really upset when they’re in an intimate situation and it’s not working out. Unless you want to make things worse for both of you, don’t be mean about it. If you have relationship problems, sexual situations aren’t the time to try to hash them out. It’s OK to be disappointed when you know how well he normally satisfies you, but absolutely no good can come from shaming, criticizing, or otherwise implying that it’s his fault and he simply doesn’t measure up. Plus, it can make your next sexual encounter together even more fraught.

Don’t Joke About It

While you would probably like to lighten the mood, it’s not a good idea to joke about it. Take your cues from your partner. If he’s able to make a light-hearted comment about the situation, and your relationship is basically happy and secure, it’s OK to offer a smile and reassure him that it’s OK. But when your partner loses his erection is not a good time to crack jokes or try to make a funny comment. You’ll not only hurt his feelings, you could set up a dynamic where he feels undue pressure next time you two are intimate.

Do Other Things

Sometimes taking yourself out of the situation and doing something else for a while helps.


There are any number of other things you can do when your partner loses his erection. If it’s because he’s exhausted, letting him rest may be best. If not, you can go back to foreplay activities, change positions, use sex toys, or watch an erotic video together. Sometimes a simple shift in the situation can allow him to relax and be able to become erect again. But even if that doesn’t happen, there are many ways to enjoy sexual intimacy that don’t require your man to have an erection. And who knows? Maybe helping you enjoy yourself will rev him back up again.

Discuss It When You’re Both Feeling Relaxed and Secure

Sometimes, the situation may not even require discussing. Maybe you both drank too much and the flesh simply wouldn’t cooperate. If your partner loses his erection and it affects the overall mood, it’s often better to wait to talk about it when you’re both relaxed, feeling secure, less likely to feel defensive, and more likely to have some perspective on the matter. Making it clear that you love him and don’t blame him can ultimately help bring you closer together.

Long Term: Help Him With Heart Health

Repeated problems with erections can be due to cardiac health issues. Doctors who treat men with erection problems advise their patients to improve heart health by quitting smoking, exercising regularly, and eating a healthy, balanced diet. It isn’t just platitudes; better heart health is associated with better erectile health, whether or not your partner takes medication for erectile dysfunction. Quitting smoking, exercising, and eating right are all good for you as well, so it’s something you can do together as a couple and shows that you care about his overall health, not just how he performs sexually.

Encourage Him to Talk to a Doctor if it Happens Frequently

The occasional lost erection may not be cause for concern. It’s just one of those things and can happen to any man of any age. It’s only when it becomes a persistent problem that it may be time to consider the possibility of erectile dysfunction. Doctors have learned so much about erectile dysfunction in the past 15 years that there’s simply no reason for a man to suffer in silence over it. Erectile dysfunction is usually caused by a problem with blood circulation to the penis, and medications and lifestyle changes can make a tremendous difference.

If your partner loses his erection on occasion, it shouldn’t be seen as a relationship “red flag.” The more he knows he can relax and not be judged by you, the easier it will be for him to get into the mood and be confident his body will cooperate. And when erection problems persist, there are many medical options for addressing the problem. At eDrugstore.com, we work with US-licensed pharmacists to dispense medications like Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis at competitive prices, with speedy shipping and outstanding customer service. Click here to learn more or to start your order today.

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