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Sexual Expectations, Porn, and Viagra: The Predicament of Young Men

Porn stars make it look so effortless. They are always ready and can last for hours. Erections never fail them. Women moan in ecstasy. Young men today believe this is what sex should look like. To live up to porn standards, they use ED drugs. They think it’s a quick fix but it can actually lead to more anxiety. How to find a healthy balance between porn consumption and honest human interaction?

What porn doesn’t tell you about sex

Have you ever wondered what an adult film looks like behind the scenes? It’s pretty boring and unsexy. Performers take time to prepare, scenes have to be repeated. It all looks more like hard work than fun.

If you’re a young man today, chances are you grew up watching porn online. You believe this is what intercourse should look like. No wonder at the first sign of erectile dysfunction, you reach for Viagra or Cialis. There is no ED in porn after all, right?

Occasional difficulty in bed is not ED

Doctors and sex therapists notice a growing trend in younger men. Patients ask for medication without any actual symptoms of erectile dysfunction. An occasional difficulty getting hard or not lasting long enough should not be cause for concern.

Medical sources, such as the Mayo Clinic, explain that trouble getting or keeping an erection can be a symptom of ED but only if it’s persistent. So there is no need to panic.

The price of performance

Man in a suit and woman in an evening dress.

Porn stars are expected to perform for hours 

It is not uncommon for porn actors to use ED medication at work. Imagine having to get an erection on demand several times a day and stay hard for hours on end! This is not a normal cycle even for the youngest and most fit.

Danny Wylde is one of a few porn stars who admitted having used ED medication on set. “Over the course of an eight year career, I ended up in the emergency room three times. All for priapism”, he told “The Independent”.  Priapism is a painful erection which lasts for a very long time. It could be a result of overusing ED medication or mixing it with illegal drugs.

What a real erectile cycle looks like

When a man engages in erotic play or intercourse, his penis will go through various stages of hardness and softness. He may even lose an erection completely only to recover it in a short time.

After ejaculation, he will need anywhere between a few minutes to a few days to be ready to have sex again. The length of what is known as refractory period depends on many factors, such as age and health.

There’s more to sex than massive erection

It’s normal to worry about your performance in bed. You want to please your partner. If it’s someone new, you’ll be trying to impress her with your stamina. Most women, however, don’t need a guy to stay hard for hours. What they really want is a skilled lover.

Pornography doesn’t teach you about the art of lovemaking. In adult films a woman orgasms the moment intercourse begins. In reality, most women need clitoral stimulation to come or to have more pleasure during penetrative sex. According to this 2015 study , only 18.4% women climaxed through penetration alone.

Use porn as conversation starter, not a manual

communication in bed

Want to impress your partner in bed? Talk to her!

If you want to be a better lover and impress your partner in bed, try using erotic movies differently. If she agrees, you can watch porn together and she may tell you which scenes she likes and why.

It’s also a good idea to ask her what she thinks is missing in those films and what she would add. Now, these are your hints on how give her more pleasure! And if she doesn’t like porn, talk about it too. Her answers will help you understand her better. Communication is key!

Use ED medication safely

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you are actually suffering from erectile dysfunction or dealing with a passing condition. When in doubt, talk to your doctor or use our confidential online consultation with a licensed physician. ED pills are safe if used properly. Always make sure you use a reliable source when buying medication online. Click here to learn more about available ED treatments.

Anka Grzywacz is a sexologist, reproductive health expert and Certified Sex Coach™. In her online practice she helps busy parents solve their intimate problems.