What do women want in bed? Most men think being a good lover is about reliable and long erections. But for women that on-demand hard-on doesn’t do the trick. They want something else.
A Canadian clinic conducted a study to find out what’s the biggest male sexual problem from the perspective of their female partners. The majority of women (38%) said low libido was the number one bedroom issue. ED was the second most annoying problem.
The ladies are pretty harsh when it comes to guys with low libido. 40% admitted they wouldn’t date such a man. 29% added they would break up with someone suffering from low desire.
There’s more to sex than a hard penis, it appears. Desire is undoubtedly a necessary component of intimate life. Without it, intercourse turns into an obligation of sorts. The passion and the fun – gone.
Almost every couple in a long-term relationship knows this. Desire is the most fragile thing in the bedroom. You can stay fit until an old age but the butterflies in the belly fly away within the first six months to three years. It’s not that the relationship gets a turn for the worse. It evolves.
Causes of low libido in men
And when the initial attraction fades, understanding your sexuality and that of your partner becomes even more important. If you know the cause of your low desire, you have the power to change it. And what are the most common reasons for a drop in men’s libido?
Let’s start with the most obvious. If your physical health is suffering, chances are, your desire will too. Conditions such as diabetes not only cause ED, they also contribute to the general lack of energy and interest in sex.
If you are living with a chronic illness, you most likely take daily medication. Double-check with your doctor if those pills are not causing your indifference to bedroom adventures.
Mental health problems linked to low libido
Another less obvious health-related reason for low libido lies not in your body but in your mind. Mental health disturbances – from common stress to depression – lead to low desire in both men and women. Here again, your medication may have sexual side effects including ED and zero-level desire. It’s not a surprise.
When dealing with depression, you enter a state called anhedonia, which means an inability to feel pleasure or joy. So don’t be afraid to ask for help from a therapist. With time, you will feel stable again and your hunger for life (and for sex) will come back.
Your lifestyle choices may affect your desire
Last but not least, you may be the source of your own problems. While many diseases happen without our influence, our lifestyle choices definitely contribute to our sexual well-being (or lack thereof).
If you overuse alcohol, smoke and do drugs, if you’re overweight and stay away from exercise, don’t be surprised you’re losing interest in sex. All these factors mess with your body and your mood. And substance abuse will sooner or later become an issue in your relationship. So get help now before things get serious.
Women expect partners to seek help
The key conclusion from the Canadian study is this: 70% of women expect their partners to seek help for their sexual issues. While I highly recommend seeing a doctor for low libido or ED symptoms, you have to be aware that sometimes a Viagra prescription won’t be enough.
Yes, ED medication will help you get those erections back and be sexually active. To deal with the lack of desire, you may have to do much more, for example, invest in your health and nurture your relationship. Once you start caring for yourself more, desire will become a regular guest in your bedroom again.
To learn more about ordering prescription medications for erectile dysfunction online, please visit the eDrugstore Erectile Dysfunction page.
Anka Grzywacz is a sexologist, reproductive health expert and Certified Sex Coach™. In her online practice she helps busy women and couples solve their intimate problems.