8 Ways Women Can Help Men with Erection Difficulties
Although men are obviously the first to feel the effects of erection problems, those problems inevitably must be shared by the sexual partners of those men. And how the women in such situations react to this new speed bump in their love lives has a great deal to do with how well these difficulties can be managed.
It hardly needs saying that ridicule or insensitivity about erection problems can do nothing to help solve them and instead almost certainly will make them worse.
And without significant other evidence to the contrary, it’s a big mistake to interpret your male partner’s erection difficulties as a sign that he no longer is turned on by you. Making him feel guilty for a physical problem that he cannot control clearly won’t help.
So much for the types of reactions you need to avoid, let’s look instead at the positive steps women can take to help get the men they love back in the saddle again, so to speak.
Step One: Learn about the Problem
Since you are sharing in some of the effects of your male partner’s erection problems, it is appropriate for you to learn what you can about impotence and its causes. Having a better understanding of what your partner is going through will give you valuable insights into the nature of the problem and help you to help him get through it.
Among the most important things you will learn is that the cause of most erection problems is physiological and has to do with a diminished supply of blood to the penis, which needs strong blood flow in order to achieve an erection. The older your partner is, the more likely that the root cause of his impotence is physical.
You will also learn that while most erection difficulties are physiological in origin, perhaps 10 to 20 percent of all impotence can be attributed to mental or emotional issues. Among younger men, psychological issues are more likely to be the cause of impotence.
Step Two: Intimacy Is Multidimensional
Your partner’s temporary inability to get and keep an erection doesn’t have to sound the death knell for intimacy in your relationship. Sexual intercourse is not the only form of physical and/or emotional intimacy available to you as a couple. Explore and experiment with other forms of intimacy to keep your romantic relationship alive and well.
Step Three: Let Him Know You Care
As disappointed as you may be that part of the physical side of your relationship is on hold for a while, your partner is probably dealing with feelings of guilt at having let you down and may be fearful that his impotence will end the relationship. If your love for him is more important than the sex you two have shared, now is the time to let him know. Your reassurance will give him the strength to do whatever has to be done to correct the problem.
Step Four: It’s a Team Effort
Sit down with your partner to map out a strategy that the two of you together can follow as a team. When he consults with his primary physician or specialists about his erection problems, make the trip to the doctor’s office with him and sit in on the consult so you have a better understanding of the steps that must be taken to address his problems. If some lifestyle changes are in order, make a decision to join him in making such changes, whether it be healthier eating, smoking cessation, a weight-loss campaign, or a program of regular exercise.
Step Five: Patience Is a Virtue
Based on what the doctor finds in his diagnosis of your male partner’s erection difficulties, a course of action will be decided upon, hopefully factoring in your input to some degree. Ultimately, of course, the mode of treatment should be your partner’s choice since he is the one who will have to deal with any possible side effects or complications. Just as some of the underlying conditions that led to impotence took time to develop, it may very well take some time for a remedy to take hold. For example, if your partner opts for one of the popular impotence drugs, such as Viagra or Cialis, it may take a few pills before the desired results are obtained. And in some cases, different pills may have to be tried to find the one that works best for your partner. Both you and your partner will have to be patient until the optimal mode of treatment is found.
Step Six: Go with the Flow
Sometimes, serious erection problems can be avoided if lifestyle changes are made before permanent damage is done. Such lifestyle changes almost inevitably will affect you as well, whether you and your partner live together or just spend most of your leisure time together. If your partner’s doctor suggests that he start eating a healthier diet or begin a regular regimen of physical activity, your support is important to the success of any such undertaking. If your addiction to fast food or dedication to the life of a couch potato mean more to you than the well-being of your partner, then perhaps it’s time to call it quits. Otherwise, try to encourage adherence to the new guidelines as much as possible, and if appropriate, join in. Who knows? It could make a significant improvement in your overall health as well.
Step Seven: Stay Positive
As we’ve already indicated, finding the best mode of treatment for your partner may take time, as various drugs and/or other therapies are tried and perhaps discarded as either ineffective or impractical. Stay positive and encourage your man to do the same. Almost certainly, the ideal treatment will be found eventually, but it will require some trial-and-error testing. If you’re truly in it for the long haul, your patience and positivity will probably be rewarded in the end.
Step Eight: Talk It Out Together
As a general rule, men in our society have been brought up to suffer in silence rather than burden others — particularly the women in their lives — with their doubts, fears, and insecurities. Because suffering in silence will only exacerbate the problem of impotence, it’s important that you encourage your partner to share his concerns with you. This will give you the opportunity to reassure him when necessary and to remind him that his erection problems are hardly unique and that, in fact, millions of other men are facing the same challenge and finding solutions that work for them. In time, so will he.
Don Amerman is a freelance author who writes extensively about a wide array of nutrition and health-related topics.