Couple in wheelchairs

Best Sexology Books: The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability


  • “The Ultimate Guide To Sex and Disability” is one of the best sexology books on how to enjoy intimacy for those with physical limitations.
  • People with disability, chronic pain, and illness can have a satisfying sex life. 
  • You’ll find this book useful if you have a health condition, or if you’re a partner of someone with a disability. 
  • Some people with disabilities can use erectile dysfunction medication to have intercourse. 

Nobody talks about sex and disability. You won’t see romantic movie characters finding fulfillment in the bedroom while managing chronic hip pain. Sensual images of people with cerebral palsy don’t make nice magazine covers, either. Yet, many people living with disabilities and chronic illness have fulfilling sex lives. And so can you!

“The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability for All of Us Who Live with Disabilities, Chronic Pain, and Illness” by Miriam Kaufman, Cory Silverberg, and Fran Odette is one of the best sexology books for anyone living with a disability or a permanent health condition — and their partners. 

Why We Love It

Authors of “The Ultimate Guide To Sex and Disability” deserve praise for taking on a taboo topic. Disability can happen to us or to our partner. A book with practical advice can help you adjust to the new situation. For those who have been living with chronic health problems their whole lives, this read may bring new hope for sexual fulfillment.

Important note: There is some bias in this book. The authors are on a mission to encourage people with chronic health conditions not to give up on their sex lives. They admit, however, that not everything they share is grounded in clinical research. They rely heavily on their own experience of working with people with disabilities as well as people’s stories. 

Man hugging his partner

Is This Book For You?

Disability is not an easy topic, and most of us avoid it if we can. But even if you’re a healthy person, learning about the challenges of disability can provide food for thought. Understanding the effort sick people make to enjoy such a simple thing as sex can help you appreciate your health and take better care of it. 

Note that the guide doesn’t address mental disability in much detail — the focus is on physical disability, life after injury, and chronic conditions. This read will be especially useful:

If You Have a Physical Disability, Chronic Pain, or Illness

The book is in no way a comprehensive guide. It’s more of an overview of what’s possible if you have a health challenge that gets in the way of erotic expression. 

If you’re a person with a disability or chronic illness, don’t get discouraged if you’re unable to do something recommended in this guide. For example, with certain types of spinal injury, you may not be able to experience orgasm in your genitals. But you can still learn how to turn yourself on by thinking sexy thoughts! 

If Your Partner Has a Disability, Chronic Pain, or Illness

Navigating dating, relationships, and sex can be challenging at times. Add to that a partner or lover with a physical disability, and you get an extra dose of things to discuss and adapt to.

Since much of this guide was inspired by real experiences, you will find concrete ideas on how to have fun in bed if your lover has a disability. You’ll also get suggestions on supporting your partner and yourself through sexual challenges. 

What You’ll Learn

“The Ultimate Guide To Sex And Disability” may not give you all the answers to your specific concerns, but you’ll learn creative ways to have sex despite physical constraints. Get inspired and find your recipe for intimacy and pleasure.

Here are some tips.

Your Whole Body Is an Erogenous Zone

Disability and chronic illness make us rethink the meaning of sex. If genitals or breasts don’t react to stimulation (or have limited sensitivity), you can map out other erogenous parts of your body. 

Besides, the very act of breathing can be incredibly erotic. Experiment with taking deep breaths, fast panting, or making sounds, and see how they can boost your arousal. 

Foot massage

Orgasms May Be Different

Most people with disabilities and chronic illnesses can have pleasurable sexual experiences. For some, a typical genital orgasm will not be possible, but they may climax through stimulation of the nipples, inner thighs, or even from kissing. 

Depending on the health condition, a person may permanently or temporarily lose the ability to orgasm. In the book, we learn about a woman with kidney disease. She had stopped feeling sexual pleasure but regained it after receiving a kidney transplant. 

People with disabilities need patience to experience sexual ecstasy. Arousal may take time, and the body’s responses work in slow motion. Don’t give up — slow and steady win the race!

Get into Position

When physical limitations or pain come into play, choosing the right position can make or break your sexual experience. In addition, you may have to take into account wheelchairs, ostomy bags, and other devices that help you function.

It takes some trial and error to find positions comfortable for both partners. Pain is a sign to stop and adjust. If you or your partner don’t have sensation in parts of the body, ask the doctor about safe positions to have sex. 

Disability and Erectile Dysfunction Often Come Together

Injury and damage of the spine and nerves often cause erectile dysfunction. Some men lose sensation in their penis or the ability to orgasm and ejaculate. 

Don’t hesitate to tell your doctor about your situation and ask about sexual health solutions. For some men the ED medication such as Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra can solve the problem. Others will need manual penis pumps or surgery to be able have intercourse. 

eDrugstore Helps You Get Your Sex Life Back

If you have a disability, chronic illness, or pain, it’s best to consult with a doctor before trying erectile dysfunction medication. Once you get a green light, you can easily fill your prescription in our online store. When you order through eDrugstore, virtual health visits and shipping are always free.

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